I'm thinking about doing the BDSM thing. Am I a lesbian or a pervert for liking that stuff?

Question

I admit, I have a touch of Homophobia. Does BDSM make me a lesbian or a pervert? I don't want to be either.

Answer 1

There are two questions here so I'll address them one at a time. The answer to the first question is that BDSM and sexual orientation are completely independent of each other. There are people in the BDSM lifestyle that are homophobic and will admit it. There are also gays and lesbians in the BDSM lifestyle. But the only way that you can be a lesbian is if you want to be sexual with another woman.

Just to expound on this a little more, it is possible and it does happen that two heterosexual men or women can partake in BDSM activities with each other. In fact, in many ways, BDSM is not about sex at all. Sex is very associated with the lifestyle, but it is not a necessary component.

In terms of the second question, I'll propose that the definition of a pervert is someone that wishes to engage in sexual activity with non-consenting people or other things. Rapists are perverts. Pedophiles are perverts. Beastiality is a perversion. And don't get me started with furniture. :-)

Perhaps the main aspect of BDSM is that everyone involved is able to consent to the activity at hand. This pretty much means consenting adults. If an activity is non-consentual in any way, it moves beyond BDSM and becomes abuse. So, the answer to your question is that liking BDSM does not make one a pervert, although it may make one kinky. ;-)

Relax and feel comfortable with your interest. There's nothing wrong with it as long as the ground-rule of consent is in place. I wish you all the best.

Answer 2

how the hell can bdsm make you a lesbian? you haven't stated that you are interested in intercourse with a member of the same gender, so the answer is NO. also, homophobia is a much bigger sign of gayness than bdsm will ever be.

bdsm does not make you a pervert; it just means that's what you like.

Answer 3

BDSM does not make you a lesbian or a pervert. Its just a sexual lifestyle some prefer or just like. You are normal :) if you can really use the word Normal anymore lol

Answer 4

bondage or sadomasochism does not change your sexual orientation....some will say it does make you perverted though...i think it all depends on how far you take it. as for having a touch of homophobia, its kind of like being a 'little pregnant' either you are or you aren't....try not to worry so much about who someone sleeps with and worry about whether or not they are a good person....being a lesbian or homosexual does not necessarily make you a bad person either....i know a lot of straight people who are just plain evil. by the way you and others might find this a little odd but i like people to know there are stereotypes against all people so i want to say i am straight AND a christian.

Answer 5

Go watch the movie "East of Eden". There is many levels of BSDM, mild to wild. For some it's the symbolism of submission that they find erotic and others go for the full blown hanging from the ceiling, ball gag, bull whipped torture scene. As long as it's consentual it's fine, it's when it's forced on someone it becomes perverted.

Answer 6

Does indulging in BDSM make you a lesbian or a pervert?
Well - yes. So what?
Hellooooo...
"Pervert" is a pejorative word that's used by prissy anal retentives to describe any practice that makes THEM uncomfortable. (Which is durned near ANY practice.)
Follow your own star - and DON'T waste time applying labels to yourself.

Answer 7

How old are you? Best to save the fun & games until you're a little older, and have had some sex ed.

Answer 8

both. Just don't stomp on any nut sacks. That's going too far! If you like girls it means you are a lesbian.

Answer 9

Each to their own! Whatever floats your boat my friend.