Will sending a 3 year old to preschool if they are frightened harm them mentally?

Question

My daughter is 3. Separation anxiety is a big problem. She cries and throws up. I signed her up for 3 yr old pre school. Is there any info on if a child could be damaged mentally from being thrown into this and being allowed to cry it out? Is it recommended that they wait til age 4?

Answer 1

Me and my hubby both feel that get as much preschool as possible so they are ready as can be for school when they get into K. I have never had that problem though so you can talk to meet and look it up. I really think once she sees the kiddos playing and having fun she will want to play with them and she will calm down. Goodluck!

Answer 2

I don't know anything about the psychology side of it but wanted to weigh in on the issue. You might want to take her to be evaluated for it, or you could just try things out. Personally, I'd take her and see how it goes, knowing that if it's AWFUL you can still send her to preschool when she's four. If it goes OK, a second year of preschool might help her even more with the separation anxiety and give her enough time to be fully ready for kindergarten. I know I didn't go to preschool until age 4, but kindergarten started at age 5; there are a lot of daycares that also offer preschool now so I think it's more flexible than back in the 80s.
I also recall that on the first day of kindergarten, I was afraid etc. but actually saw a little girl who was crying and said "I'll be your friend." Something similar might happen with your daughter, or you might talk with her about that being a possible approach she could take. I'm sure she wouldn't be the only scared one there!

Answer 3

Each kid matures at their own rate. There is not set age when they are ready.

Is she ever left with anyone else? Is the problem just as bad then - or is it just the thought of being with strangers all day? Does she follow you around the house - is she afraid to be in a different room than you?

Start with small steps. Do whatever she can handle, and keep increasing the amount of time that she's not with you. Can you meet with her teacher before preschool starts and let your daughter become more comfortable with the teacher? Are there any other kids in the preschool that she can get to know before school starts?

Find out what activities will be going on at preschool and have pretend preschool at home so she'll know what to expect. If you can have another adult play teacher, that would be even better.

Answer 4

Hi ,

No it will not preschool is just that a pre empt of what to expect in school I actually recommend it they do go through seperation anxiety for a short time but it is better to over come it at this point than when they are in school.

As an Early Childhood Educator we feel that the ease into the program setting at this age allows them 1 to adjust quicker and 2. be physically prepared as when all children start school the amount of germs they come into contact with is higher than their immune system is use to so this allows the adjustment without missing regular school.

Answer 5

Every child is different. Some parents call me soft for pulling my two year old (almost three year old) out of daycare for the anxiety problem. I sent him for three months straight and it never got easier for him so I decided to find a private sitter instead. You will know what is best for your daughter. Maybe get a sitter for a few hours in the evening at your home and leave while she is still awake and then call about an hour after leaving to see how she handled you going out. If she handles it well then maybe its time for pre school if she can't handle even after a few times then I'd wait for k-4. Or take the half way point. Put her in part-time daycare where she'll have a small class and be done with baby school by lunch time.

Answer 6

Look she's three, give her some time to have UNorganized play. When she's five and has had more interaction with people, send her then. She's too young, now.

You ever heard of Summerhill. It's a school in England their motto is "You learn better when you want to, not when you're forced to".

**I've never heard of it being recommended for a 4 yr old to go to scholl, but personally I'd recommend dealing with the separation axiety before you thrust the child into a foreign situation.

Answer 7

that will depend on how the people handle this at the day care. just make sure they are qualified the situation ur talking about.

Answer 8

I would think that she would grow out of it,maybe it will take some time.but , if you are uncomfortable about the situation, then I would take her out, if possiable........