Deadbeat Dads?

Question

There are some wonderful fathers out there who take care of their children regardless of a situation, so this question isint for everyone... I know it takes two to make a baby and when people have sex its usualy a mutual decision and people are aware of what could happen, why is it once a girl says shes pregnant the father wants nothing to do with it? I was with a man for 10 years (been away from him for 5 yrs now) we have two boys, he is court ordered to pay child support and refuses, he says he doesnt have the money, well for someone who is so "broke" he lives like a king wearing 150.00 sneakers. Why do people do that, its not fair, I work my tail off for my kids with no help from the state and he gets to do whatever, why are some men like that!!!!

To all of you that have responded thank you so much some of you even brought a tear to my eye with your kind words, To those judgemental people you are the little pee-ons who think you are just better then everybody, Well I got news for ya's you arent anything until youve walked in the shoes that some of us have had to.Only God has the right to judge and the people who responded with the negativity are far from being God.. God Bless to all the good people out there

Answer 1

interesting.

Did you think about all of this BEFORE you had kids.

See generally when a man ALLOWS a woman to have his child. He is think FOREVER, when she decides FOREVER is only a few years we get bitter and generally hate you. So we do everything we can to not be around.

YOu were a dead beat girlfriend by saying FOREVER then leaving
now you want sympathy or empathy for making a decision.
I say you made your bed lay in it.

Its not his fault women are fickle.


I just conned my BM out of over 100k in CS because she is mad I dont care about her, but hse is with someone else, someone 16 years older, Why should I care?
woman are funny. All they care about is money

Then want to through someone in jail when YOU layed on your back
and GAVE him your aZZ thats pretty stupid then again,, thats why I treat women the way I do

Answer 2

Why does everyone talk about "Deadbeat Dads" and ignore "Deadbeat Moms"? My Ex ran off with another man when our daughter was 5 months old and left her behind. We had been together for almost 6 years. The next time I heard from her, over a year later, she was penniless, jobless, homeless, and demanding full custody plus a 3 bedroom all expense paid house and 40% of my income. She has never contributed anything to raising our child, when a Judge actually ordered child support ($50.00 a month) she fled the state and never saw her child again to avoid paying it. There are actual support groups for single fathers with deadbeat moms. Why do women actively support this kind of behavior when a woman does it, then turn around and act like it's a crime if a man does the same thing? For the record, as a single father I raised a daughter who was an honor student all through school, graduated with honors, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, never did drugs, never been in trouble with the law, has chosen to serve our country in the military, and was a virgin at her wedding. It works both ways, ladies.

Answer 3

Hello.
We'll first of all when people get married the feelings of love and honor should be mutual. I know a lot of men are scarred at first when they hear they got a girl pregnant, especially if they are not married to her. A man who would leave his girlfriend and child, is not a man at all. He is a little boy who needs to grow up and take care of his responsibilities. So you don't need to worry about him. I just want you to know that I take my hat off to you. Continue to support your kids and be the hard working lady you say you are, and God is going to bless you. I t may not seem like it, but He is going to pour out blessings on you that you won't have room enough to receive them. And who knows, maybe one of those blessings will be a husband. A husband who will love and support you. One who will love you past your pain. And one who will cherish you for the rest of your life. So don't worry about that man. Just pray that he'll come around.

Answer 4

I feel your pain. I'm in the exact same situation right now. They do it because they're selfish and they're d*cks- no two ways about it. I find the state is no help to me either. I moved from one county to another and the first county was great- stayed right on top of things and threw his lazy a s s in jail when he got a few months behind- but the county I live in now has let him get over two years behind and still hasn't sent the case to the prosecutor for review. I'm frustrated too- he has six kids with four different women- I was the first- and he lost custody of all the others because he and the girls he knocks up can't stay away from drugs and end up beating each other in front of them. It's sad, and I'm glad he keeps his distance! My kids don't need that. But the least he could do is send a few bucks their way to buy school supplies or pay for them to play sports. He can't even do that. : (

Answer 5

Sorry to say but that is just a battle that a mother has to deal with sometimes, but honey don't worry about it you are not alone. A lot of men don't take care of their kids and it's really sad because we both lay down to have them but we are always left alone to take care of them and support them. Don't worry honey your blessing will come because God sees what you are doing and how you are sacrificing for your kids. Your baby's father will get his in the long run so don't worry about him. Like the old saying goes every dog has his day, and when it comes it's going to come hard and strong. I know that it's not easy but just keep your head up and I promise you everything will get better.

Answer 6

Well some guys are like that because the don't really care! All they care about is themselves. Some men aren't really that actually they are kids pretending to be a man. My advice is you forget about him every trying to help and find yourself a real man!

Answer 7

Mine avoids it all together, he has a ten year old son he don't claim and avoids paying child support. We were young when we had him. My ex is in college becoming some sort of lawyer funny huh. He is breaking the law. I have tried to get help but nothing, everyone turns me away. They are going to get away with it, until the state or government finally puts their foot down and comes up with some kind way to fix it all. Why should one parent have to pay for everything, while the other is out buying name brand clothes,driving fancy cars, and in my case getting a college degree and he is married and has two other small children he does claim, but just not his first born. Why should they deserve all this when the one parent and the children are suffering is struggling is beyond me. I'am with you on this, and know what you are going through but i really don't have enough answers, just that the government needs to do something.

Answer 8

I know exactly what you mean. I was married to my kids father for 6 years. I have 3 kids. I was 4 months pregnant with my third one when my husband simply left us right at Christmas. Boy, what fun that was. I chased him down for child support the first 2 years and just gave up until my son , the oldest, was about 13. My son decided it was all my fault he had no father because I made him go away. So I chased him down again and he was on parole, so had to pay child support. 2 years later, his parole was over and he disappeared again. At least by then my kids knew how worthless he really was. He died last year, I had to tell my kids. Only one of them was really upset about it.

You do the best you can for your kids. The father who doesn't take care of them, may have their love to a point. But they know it is you they can depend on and it is you they will respect and turn to when they need someone. My kids are 29, 27 and 25 now. They all live near me and, though we have our issues, we all love each other very much. I feel I have been rewarded for raising my kids without their father and doing it to the best of my ability.

Answer 9

Well babe, all men are not like that. I am a single father raising 2 kids, girl and boy, no state aid (welfare), no child support from mother of children. I work 40-50 hours a week, to survive. Mother of children hides her employment/leaves employment when she finds out her check will be garnished for support and she lives the life of a queen. My award will come when my children are grown, graduated from school and have their own families. Just knowing I will do all this by myself with out their mother brings a smile to my face and my heart. Remember "Any guy can be a dad, but it takes a real man to be a FATHER". Also, there are Dead beat moms too, please let's not forget about them.

Answer 10

I am going through the same thing, just keep dragging his worthless butt back to court. Your boys deserve this, and so do you. Dont let him get away so easy, and if that doesnt work get a lawyer through leagal Aid Services in the State you live in. They go based on income, and since you said money is a bit tight take advantage of the benefit. Good luck...

Answer 11

Well unfortunately in these days and times people don't associate sex with child bearing. They associate sex with an orgasms and thats it. Women are natural providers where men are naturally selfish. Sometimes men cant separate the kids from the mother. My advice to you is to do the best raising your boys, because woman have been doing it for years. And if your state is anything like mine, if he doesn't pay the money he will go to jail.