I need HELP right away!!!!!!?

Question

Some of you people have already heard about my mom, but for those of you that haven't here it goes: (people that have you can still help read the end of the paragraph)

Ok my mom died of a brain tumor (it started when I was 6) but she died when I was 8 I am now 14, but instead of the hurt going away it comes stronger. It seems like everything I do reminds me of my mom now. So tonight I am going to text my 18 year old friend (she's like a sister to me) and tell whats been going on and see what she says I should do. BUT I DON"T KNOW HOW TO START OR WHAT TO TELL HER.




I text her a little bit last night and asked her why I was feeling the way I was but thats all i said. What else should I tell her? Cuz asking her questions didn't really help me any.


ONE IS TELLING ME THAT I NEED TO TELL HER THAT I NEED TO TALK TO HER BUT I ALREADY KNOW THAT, I'M JUST WONDERING WHAT I SHOULD SAY

SO WHAT SHOULD I TELL MY FRIEND TO START THE CONVERSATION????? NOBODY IS REALLY HELPING ME!!

Please don't tell me to go see a counsler or a shrink cuz I won't.

Answer 1

i understand how you feel about your MOM , you were only 8 when she died and probably did not have time to accept her passing or grieve properly.

Your MOM loves you still and is watching over you .
can you imagine how she feels, to know her beautiful child is so unhappy.

Write about your MOM. every thing good you can remember.,

remember all the happy times you had with her ,

you are not expected to forget her , that will never happen ,

but remember some of the good times and others will come to you . And this will help you to feel happier again.

Now get your friend to ask you questions about your MOM
So you can share your memories with, her

hugs

Answer 2

First of all, every one deals with grief differently. I can tell your still grieving. What u need to do is talk to some one that u trust and will understand u. I know u need help on starting a conversation with your friend. All i can say is start from the past and work your way to the present, then the future. If there is something or someone that is bothering u the most then start from there. I think it would be better if u called your friend on the phone and not text her. And just start by asking if she is busy. If she says yes or no just let he kno u really need a friend right now to talk to. Then the door is open to now speak. U might feel better doing it face to face with her. that way if u need a hug or a shoulder to lean on she'll be there for u. Good luck. hope this helped.

Answer 3

Sorry to hear about your loss. What intrigues me is that you don't know how to talk to your friend? I know exactly what you want and I would probably start the conversation saying, "hey there is something that happened to me when I was little and i would like to share it with you. BUT when you have a friend and if she is really a friend you should not have any problems talking to her. I would instead talk to someone who is in your family, do you still live with your dad? remember when we loose someone we are not the only ones loosing that special person, there are a lot of people around us who have also lost that person like your dad (he lost his wife), your grandma (she lost her daughter) an aunt (she lost her sister) etc... so at your age you are still a child and as a child there are things you cannot explain or understand because of your age and an older person (NOT an 18 year old) can help you with that, have you asked your dad for instance how he has managed? so if I were you I would not tell that friend about it, because when you tell someone who has not gone through what you have they really don't understand how you feel, but if you get close to someone who has gone through the same pain and better someone who has lost the same person then they understand and they can help you. Hopefully you won't be so stubborn and listen to what i just said and get closer to an adult and talk about it, at 18 you are still a child too.

Answer 4

I am very sorry to hear about your mom. If you are curious to know how to talk to your friend, tell her like you told us. Just ask her. If she is like your sister, there is no wrong way to ask a sister any question. I am 22 and my grandfather passed away last year. I have always heard that the pain goes away more and more but I am learning that is not the case afterall. The older I get and the more time goes on, it just starts sinking in and you do think of them more often. I know you miss your mom but you really need to know that she is in a better place now and she is not here on the earth suffering anymore. That is how I get through it is to know that my grandfather is in a way better place now. Hope this helps

Answer 5

Well, it seemed pretty easy to explain it to me and I am a perfect stranger. If you are looking for ways to just start the conversation I can help. Since this chick is supposed to be like a sister to you, I assume she would be supportive of your feelings and not judge or mock you. With that said, there is nothing to be scared of. Simply tell her, you have something very important you would like to discuss with her and you need her to talk about it with you. Then schedule a time where the two of you will have ample time to talk everything out. Like hours - maybe try a sleepover. Then just divelge into it. Tell her the whole story, how it makes you feel, and what she thinks you can do to start to cope with grief. On a side note, you might want to check out books or articles about grief or grieving. Try WebMD. I am 25 and I just recently experianced a loss as well. Sometimes it just doesn't get better. It is completely normal to feel the why you are.

Answer 6

Do you have a father to talk to. that is really the best person for you to share your feelings with, he can relate to what your are feeling. that seems to be something that should have been done a long time ago. If for any reason that is not possible try talking to a close relative who shared the loss of your mother. your friend can't tell you why you feel the way you do because she didn't share the loss with you. and also I want to let you now that the feelings towards your mothers death is natural, that is something that will always be with you. once you have someone to talk to it will make it easier for you as you grow. hope things work out for you.

Answer 7

I lost my mother at a young age as well. I still miss her and always will, it does get easier as time goes on. Just let your friend know that you would like to talk, or call a selfhelp hot line and just talk, find someone who will listen. Try saying what is on your mind and heart and let the words come out. Remember your throat is the bridge between your mind and heart. No one can help unless you want it, i found a older woman who represents my mother and is always there to listen and to comfort. she is my mentor, no she did not take my mothers place, no one can. she has made life a better place for me and i love her for that. God bless sweetie and i'll hold you in my heart, from someone who knows the heartfelt pain of not having birth mom around..... i also kept a diary of the questions and inner thoughts i have about my mom, i also write her letters, poems, and visit her gravesite, i still talk to her in my heart and i know she hears it.....she is with you and always will be, she is in you

Answer 8

Unfortunately no matter what you say, unless she's in the same situation or has been, she won't really know how to help you. I think finding a support group for grieving should help. Many people have different ways of grieving, and that's the best way to express yourself because there are other people who are/were in the same situations so they can relate to you better and understand more than anyone else would

Answer 9

If you and your friend are as close as you say, she'll understand. Losing someone close to you isn't easy, and I understand that you wouldn't want to see a stranger about these things. Don't be nervous when you talk to her, remember, she's like a sister to you. Tell her you have something that's been bugging you and you want to talk to her about it, she'll listen. Ask her for her opinion on what's bugging you. Instead of text messaging her, just call her, tell her it's private and it would help take a load off your mind if you talk to her.

I know it's not easy living without motherly support, but remember, your friends are just as good as family. Don't be afraid to fall back on them about your problems. I personally don't know what it's like to lose someone close to me. If I was in your position, I'd probably crack (because I've broken down before). But you're different, you're so much stronger, and you have enough courage to want to talk to your friend about it. Don't be afraid, relax, take a deep breath, and just say what comes to your mind okay?

Good luck!

Answer 10

Let her know how and what you are feeling. But don't try to not let them understand how you feel. they will never know how you feel but give them a chance to understand...you can always start talking to someone about the good things that have happened. and what's best is that you doit in person. not on the phone or anything like that but you need them there to comfort you in your time of pain. good luck to you and im sorry