i want to spy on my husband how can i tell what sights he is vewing,?

Question

My husband almost ruined our marriage with his internet porn addiction, He swares he has stopped but my five year old said she say daddy looking at womans bras on line, how can i stop this crap from geting on my computer how do i spy on him?

Answer 1

You could look at the browser history, but he's probably smarter than that. You could install a key board stroke reader to find out what sites he's looking at as well as his emails and his chat tendencies.

However, if you are that untrusting, rather than spying behind his back (two wrongs don't make a right), why don't you discuss this, and install a program like net nanny to keep the system from even being allowed to visit adult sites. That way you're both working together to keep him from falling back into his addiction, rather than trying to catch him red handed causing more conflict and distrust.

Answer 2

First and foremost, there is obviously a huge trust issue here and trying to catch him doing something isn't going to solve that issue. If you catch him doing it.. what will be your response? If you try to catch him and he's not doing it... what will be your response? If you try to catch him and he finds out you are 'spying on him'.. what will be his response? Obviously the outcome of two out of three possibilites is not good. Therefore I suggest you sit down with you husband, explain your concerns and work this out. A professional counselor may be able to assist and might be the best solution.

But.. you asked a question so I'll try to answer. Anyone that uses the net for something that they don't want any one to know about will soon learn how to hide their activies. One can easily delete the history complete or even pick out specific entries to delete from this history so this isn't going to be a good option. Looking through the 'cache' folder can be a source of information but this too can be easily maniplated / deleted and this may not prove to be the reliable as you may see what could be regarded as pornographic images that could be been brought in through a banner ad from site the user never actually visited. Viewing the drop down list in the 'Address' bar will only show the last 25 or so sites that were 'hand keyed' in and not only can that be misleading, it to can be easily manipulated through the registry editor. There are programs out there that you can download that 'hide and watch' that you can install and he may not be aware of it. This would be one method but one that could pretty easily spotted. The best method is to the use tracking capabilities of the router if you have a direct connection such as cable or DSL. Look at the router's owner manual and you should be able to 'turn on' the usage tracking option. Once this is done.. it is transparent to the PC user and unless they too dig into the router they will not know their surfing is being tracked. Now be aware that again this could be misleading as banner ads, unsolicited emails and other functions beyond a users control could again produce entries that may not have been an intention surfing for porn.

So... 'catching him' can be difficult and miss leading and you stand a better chance of him catching you spying on him instead of you catching him doing something he shouldn't. That is certainly one of the results outlined earlier that you will need to think about before you embark down this path. I would suggest you work on the trust and understanding issue as the time spent there will certainly be more productive and could save a marriage instead of wrecking it.

Hope this helps and good luck.

Answer 3

Why do you need to spy on him? You already know he does it. What you should be thinking about is what will I do about it? Like the comedian Chris Rock says If your wife catches you in bed with another woman, don't admit you are having an affair. As long as you don't admit it woman never know for sure even if they saw you. If you did it, don't admit it. You are one of these women. You know he did it no matter what he's saying. If you MUST have your proof go to the address bar on your computer, type www. then just put in one letter. It will drop down everywhere he has been. I would start with S, then T & A, Maybe B or C. You get the picture, don't you. Maybe you don't...

P.S. History can be erased so don't go by that.

Answer 4

Seems trust ain't there anymore, If trust doesn't exist then a relation doesn't either. I'd say you spend your time better trying to improve your own attitude and communication in the marriage or get out of the marriage.. I tend to think if one party in a marriage wants to "control" the other the marriage is on shaky grounds.

Men will share jokes or pics with friends. If your husband spends an inordinate amount of time on the computer and away from the marriage then it's pretty telling. it's likely sex was lacking in the relationship after the kids came along and he found a way to satisfy the "urge"..

Think about what you want out of your relationship. Don't bring up the porn crap.. Seduce your husband if you want a relationship. Get serious about rekindling romance and dating.

While there are dozens of ways to spy on someone trust and valuing someone goes a lot further then suspicion and contempt.

I do computer forensics as part of my job and can tell you if you want to have the father of your children in the house to hel raising them, then you need to consider him and treat him as a partner not a child..

If he acts like a child then he needs to grow up. You need to seek out a marital therapist, and individual counseling.

Answer 5

Well you see, I have or had a similar problem, but the key is in your tool bar under view there is the word history click on it and you can see what sites have been viewed the past month, 3 weeks, 2 weeks, even down to days. Also if you go under the search bar and type in the alphabet one letter at a time you can see what he has looked up. If you need any other help let me know. If you have yahoo messenger use my call km2bgrls and maybe I can help you that way. Good luck.

Answer 6

install google desktop on your computer.

it indexes all web sites visited for later viewing. you can search by key word or for a address you know has been visited. once you have results from the web history you can then click on the date next to the web history and see everything that was modified (including web views) on your computer on that date.

ok now that you know how to do it I have one simple instruction. don't do it.

first, unless he is viewing kiddie porn or having an affair is it really worth chucking your marriage over? second, spying in this manner is a much worse violation of trust than your husband checking out a few naked pictures.

other questions you might want to consider. how is your sex life? is it such that he is driven to porn becuase of a lack of sex, or a lack of good sex? is his porn viewing affecting his sexual performance? if it isn't then why would you want to control him like that? it's not illegal or immoral to look at porn.

also you might want to sit him down and view the "diary of a pron virgin" movie. if nothing else it will give you both a new view into the porn industry and you both may have to make some adjustments in your ideation of pronography.

Answer 7

Check the history of the sites that he has viewed. Either go to Tools : Internet Options and search the pages that are kept in history, or you can click on the clock icon on your standard buttons bar. But, i don't encourage you to do so, since it might make him mad and then he might not trust you anymore. I suggest that you talk to him about the matter, instead of spying on him.

Answer 8

There are many products that will key log everything a person does on your pc. Just do a google search for key loggers and you will find many of them. They are also sold in places like Circuit City and such. Thing is....it is a total invasion of privacy in my opinion. If you think he is looking at porn and your child is right there, you have bigger problems. Sounds to me like you need to either get rid of the pc or the husband.

Answer 9

Unless he's looking at kiddie porn or is spending the family fortune on pay porn sites (not sights) then he isn't ruining the marriage.... you are by being a prude about it. If he's jerking off, he's just ruining a towel, not a marriage.

Now, if he's talking to some other women, then that's not porn and is a whole other issue.

Answer 10

Check the history. Also sometimes you can get in touch with your internet provider to see what he looks at and flag certain sights so that they will be alerted when it happens. Don't know how to do this but I've heard of it. Also, I believe there is some software.