We are both ready to have kids. I have finished college like 6 months ago, and now working. My husband if going in the military .. and well I am 20 and he is 23 ... I know my family would say I am too young, but this is something we really want... I dont know if I should wait to be older or have kids now. One side of me says it would be stupid to wait just because you want to be older .. and then the other side says well 20 is young ( i think this because of my family) What should we do?
2006-08-16 06:52:55 · 37 answers · asked by fleurgerbera 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Only you know if you are ready - emotionally and financially. Talk to your husband about what is best for your family. Ignore other family members - they are not raising your kids or paying your bills.
2006-08-16 06:58:25 · answer #1 · answered by AlongthePemi 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would say wait until you are almost 22 because then you can go out after you turn 21 and party where as if you had a baby you cant. Then you might decide to wait a little longer because you enjoy your freedom. Remember that if you have a baby it isn't as much fun to drink. Sure you can get a babysitter so you can but do you have one that you can trust your child with?? Are you remembering that the next morning you cant sleep in to nurture that hangover because a baby will need you? Just think about and make a decision with your husband. 20 isn't that young my friend is 22 and already has 3 kids. Granted she isn't the perfect mother but she is handling it!! I am 24 and I have a little girl, I used to party but now I have realized there are more important things in life. I don't like getting a babysitter because that is time that I am missing with her. Children truly are a gift from god. Good Luck in making your decision!!!!
2006-08-16 07:06:46 · answer #2 · answered by pickle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what feels right for you and your husband, but know that children are a HUGE responsibility, both emotionally and financially. You both seem financially able to have kids, but what about the emotional part? If your husband is going into the military, there is a huge chance that he might have to be away from you for a time. Being pregnant and having a baby is hard enough, let alone if your husband is gone. I don't believe your family is telling you to wait to be cruel. This is something that they all have gone through and are just trying to give you advice, so that you don't have a hard time. But, in the end, the decision is up to you. I say if you have any doubts at all, wait.
2006-08-16 07:04:42 · answer #3 · answered by Alicia L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i turned 20 in March of this year and im pregnant with my second daughter my first is 14 months old my husband and i didn't plan either but when we found out we were pregnant we were so happy everyone kept saying you should have waited youre too young why couldn't you finished college youre throwing your life away my mom even tried to tell me to have an abortion because i was too young for a baby! ya'll sound well established to be young my husband and i are as well he went to college and he makes good enough money for me to stay at home with my daughter and watch a few kids at my house to make a lil extra money he's only 22. im in the military but im working on a discharge the only thing that will be hard is you being pregnant while he's away at training or if he is deployed but many women do it if ya'll are ready i think you should do it if i listened to what everyone told me or tells me, i would be a very miserable person my husband and i were told we were too young and since then we have managed to have the most wonderful life and little family i could ever imagine. sometimes i would love to have a carefree life like my friends my age but they are all ending up in jail because of their carefree life i love my life and i love being settled down and there is no other way i would have it good luck on your decision email me if you need anything.tiffanyblack0610@yahoo.com by the way people say spend time with youre hubby before having a baby well by the time youre 40 the kids will be grown and moved out and you'll be better financially stable to travel and do what you want with your hubby
2006-08-16 07:26:42 · answer #4 · answered by tiffany b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that only you and your husband can decide about such a personal thing. Keep in mind how much more difficult your life will be if he is stationed overseas and you are home with the baby. Babies take a huge amount of parental effort and it is MUCH easier with two parents.
Also, consider how much nicer it will be to have a child after you both are settled in good jobs and have a car that's paid off. Babies are amazingly expensive and can stretch a young family to the financial breaking point.
These are things to discuss with your husband but it is totally your choice. Don't let parents, relatives or friends decide what is best for you in this regard.
2006-08-16 07:03:47 · answer #5 · answered by pvreditor 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want kids, have kids. Its a decision only the two of you should be making. By the time my husband was 23 (me 22), we were about to have our third kid and he had gotten a vasectomy. We are military. The pay is fine if you are good with your money. And having job security at a young age is WONDERFUL!! So have those babies and don't look back. Be ready to be a single parent sometimes when he's deployed. Be ready to have the military drive you nuts. Just love him, roll with the punches, and you'll be fine. Being a military wife sucks sometimes, but life is good. Have those babies now. No time like the present!
2006-08-16 07:11:30 · answer #6 · answered by Velken 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey you are an adult & you are married. The decision is between you & your husband, not the rest of your family. Regardless of what your family says or thinks the two of you should make the decision together (just the two of you). If you both agree you are ready then do it. If you both think you should wait then wait. But make the decision based on what you two want for your life & for a family of your own, not what anyone else tells you to do.
I was 17 when I had my first child. 20 years old is not too young to have a baby, especially when you are married, have finished college, & you both have good careers. Sounds to me like this would be the next step in your wonderful life together. Enjoy!
2006-08-16 09:14:11 · answer #7 · answered by sweetamberwaves 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you both feel ready to have a child then go for it. I was only 20 when I had my son and it was the best thing that ever happened. Its a miracle to have a life growing inside of you and then have a precious baby that is yours to love and care for and raise into a wonderful adult. Who cares what your family thinks. They are not in your shoes and they dont know what your heart wants. So as long as your husband feels the same way you do, Then make a baby
Good luck
2006-08-16 08:40:55 · answer #8 · answered by mommylee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say you are married so why not.....if you didn't feel that you weren't too young to get married then you aren't too young to have a baby.....i got married at 18 and now i am still happily married and we have 2 beautiful girls and another one on the way and i will be 24 and my husband will be only 23 when this one arrives. so like you said you are ready and you have gone through school and you really want it so don't listen to anyone else if they tell you the opposite of what you and your husband want. if you want something bad enough go for it.....that's what my husband and i did and even though we have struggled in the past, but who doesn't hit a few bumps in the road in their life....now we own our own house, as in we don't have to pay a mortgage, we own our own car that is all paid off and we have a growing family just because we worked hard for it and didn't let those who didn't believe that we could make it discourage us.
2006-08-16 07:22:59 · answer #9 · answered by beautiful 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait. I was 21 and thought I was ready to have kids, and I was in the military. Not that it was a mistake, but it definetly put a tremendous amount of strain on our relationship, which ended in us getting divorced.
I know at 20, you're married and have your education, etc... I'm telling you to wait so you can fully enjoy your lives together as a married couple. Trust me, having kids might sound like its not a big deal, like its a cute thing, and you may have that true desire to be a mommy. But I'm telling you its best to wait. I say at the very least wait until after his 1st 4 years in the military are up, who knows, he may end up loving it and stay in, make a career out of it. Or he may end up hating it and after 4 years decide on a new career path, with a family, its a hard choice.
I say to wait, not cause you are too young, but so you can fully enjoy your marriage to your husband. Trust me on this one.
2006-08-16 07:08:21 · answer #10 · answered by jeff the drunk 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had older parents growing up because I was the youngest of 7 and trust me...as a child it's no fun....they couldn't do the the things with me like all the other kids' moms and dads.
When I was in high school my parents were turning 60ish.
It's not too early. It sounds like you have a very stable situation to bring a child into....in that case age is not an issue.
2006-08-16 07:02:19 · answer #11 · answered by mistiaya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋