I love a married man....i need help?

Question

i am in a relationship with a married since last 10 years. i know all the philosophy and that it is wrong etc etc. i meet him about once a month...i have been loyal to him all the while.
he loves his wife. he has never told me that he wants to leave her and be with me. still i love him.
dont give me the usual ans of its wrong and i shld move on. i have tried but it doesnt work.
how do i take this and where do i go from here?

Answer 1

Home wrecker

Answer 2

Hope I can help some. I was in a relationship with a married man for 10 months, only he did tell me he loved me, was unhappy at home, and was leaving her. we talked about our future and made plans of being together. He invested a lot of time in me. He saw me 2-3 times a week. we talked several times a day while he was at work. He used every vacation day on me, sspending 13 hours with me those days. We spent some nights together overnight. We told each other how much we loved each other, and we even stopped using protection b/c it seemed as if the worst that could happen would be that he would have to speed his ending the marriage up. Then he up and tells me he cant leave, he feels trapped. He has no where to go or to take his kids. They have a mortgage, and he cant walk away from that, but he will always love me, and blah blah blah. Then 2 weeks later I found out I am 7 weeks pregnant. I called his phone to @ least let him know. His wife answered and I told her everything. Then I find out she is 9 weeks pregnant. Well she allowed his shitty *** to stay at the house so you can guess where he is now- with her not me. It took this for me to see that he doesnt deserve me and I wouldnt take him back if he came begging. What I thought was true love turned out to be absolutely nothing. This was just last week, so please dont hurt yourself anymore. Dont give this man 100% while he is giving you 5% at the most. I wish all women could learn sumthin from this story. There is no man worth the pain of what I feel right now- and my "true love" is responsible for that pain. RUN, RUN, RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

10 years is a very long time to be in an affair with a married man, you've obviously invested a considerable amount of your emotions and time on him. But I'm guessing the reason why you asked this question here is that you are not happy with the situation anymore and want more?? You have to ask yourself where do you see yourself in 10 years, do you want to remain in this same situation or do you want him to leave his wife for you? He may not leave her for you, since you both have been in the same relationship for 10 years. Also, would he would be faithful to you in the future?

I've been cheated upon and I can tell you, I know my partner had some roving eye, but its heartbreaking to realise the man I loved for so long did this to me. This man is very selfish, he is not doing anything good for you or his wife and worse yet if they have children. You are worth more than that. Find something to occupy your time, see if you can take a course to further your career, travel, do some charity work as constructive things to do, focus on friends or family who make you feel special. This might help you move on.

Answer 4

You have one thing right, you do need help. Why would you involve yourself in a relationship with a married man? Lets be honest here, the reason that those usual answers do not work is because you don't want them to.

As long as that is the case, nothing anyone can say to you is going to help you leave this relationship. All I can say to you is that I hope you use protection because you can not possibly believe that he is faithful to you, just like he is not faithful to his wife, if another Pu**y comes along he will stick it in them also.

Answer 5

This is a very tough situation and I can definately relate to you on this. It's hard being a woman for many reasons and one of them is that there are simply more women on this earth then men. Naturally many men will have more than one lover since most women want a man in their lives.

Is this man verbally or physically abusive to you and you are scared to leave? Do you feel like no one else will want you? He has obviously manipulated you into staying with him, if you have been with him for 10 years. I think that you need to get out of this situation because you do not want to die without ever being number one in some man's heart. This will take a lot of support from loved ones, and/or therapy. There is free counseling available everywhere maybe that's where you need to start to get the strength to leave.

You are not stupid by any means, good luck.

Answer 6

well,even i dont wanna give you any advise but all i want you to know is, that, even you agree that there is a problem with whats happg and there is something wrong going on and so you have come and posted such a question here for someone to help you,isn't it?

just think and think wise,if you really wannna help yourself,move out of town and make new friends.dont break the relationship in a bang,but find someone worth and love 2 people at a time and see how he reacts,then you'll know whether he loves you too...get involved in some sport and see how it helps you to build your self confidence.......

if you need more of this,you know where to find me....good luck!!

Answer 7

Well, I think you really need help. OK, I would go to the facts, you've been involved in this relationship, you accepted to play the role of "mistress", he says he's not going to leave his wife. Something interesting, it's that you don't mention if he loves you!! So, there's a problem with your conception of love, you want to love and be loved, but unfortunately you're in a non-reciprocal relationship. You need professional help (counseling or therapy), first to solve this problem ( you won't be able to solve it by yourself, it's like an addictive situation, you need him though you know , this is not good for you at all) it seems to me that you're unhappy with this situation and you don't know what to do!! Second, and more importantly, you need to rebuild your self-esteem and to establish new goals in your life. All the best

Answer 8

It is possible to leave him I know you said you tried but if you tried whole heartedly you would not be with him if he loved you he would leave his wife . I know this may not exactly be what you want to here but you need to untie yourself from a man who is not ready to fully commit to you or this relationship it doesn't sound to me like he loves you it sounds to me like you are the other woman. I know you love him but if you love yourself you would stop putting yourself through this talk to him straight up about leaving his wife and starting a life with you if he gives you no definite answer take a chance and leave him if that doesn't open his eyes he must have not wanted you all that much anyways. If he loves you and you are meant to be together you will be, take a chance and leave him if he really is not ready to commit, then suck it up say goodbye and get a hobby to keep your mind off him, because the relationship you have now can't be good for the both of you additionally just something to think about do you really want a man you know is a cheater most of the relationships of mine or my friends where it has started out of cheating are doomed to fail because of cheating or lack of common interests other than sex. Think about it and good luck girl.

Answer 9

r u married too?if yes forget bou't d person n concentrate on ur hubby.if no then even forget bou't d person cause love from is not true towards u.if he would have been truelly in love vid u then he would have left his wife first then only he would have started his affair vid u otherwise for how long u can carry on like this.he is using u.if he can't b honest vid his wife then how can u believe such a person.ju's think of his wife also how she vil feel when she vil get to know about ur relationship vid him

Answer 10

I know you are not going to like this but you are a whore and home wrecker and I hope he always leads you on and then one day I hope the wife finds out and F’s you up. Do they have kids together? Image how they are going to feel about YOU.

What is a matter with you? Couldn't you find your own man?

Oh' and get a clue he is not leaving his wife you are second best and you will always be......

Answer 11

Well its seems you want to be the other woman.What is it getting you?He will never leave her for you.Do you always want to be where you are?
No one can do this for you,but i think it is pretty sad that he seems to be consuming your life.It is hard to go on ,but just think what the future will hold.You deserve to be happy.You are really hurting more peolple than yourself.Sometimes love is not enough and we have to love a person enough to let them go and i promise you one day you will meet the right man when you are least expecting it.Good Luck.