I've been married for 8 years with a great guy. We have a beautiful baby boy together.
My husband, however, is very headstrong and wants to take care of the bills. He doesn't want me to know anything about them and honestly, i really don't care as long as they are taken care of. HOWEVER!!!! Every couple of months (since we've been married- this isn't recent) I find that we are behind on big bills, like car payments, mortgage, daycare. We always end up in a big fight and eventually is gets fixed, because we both make decent money and can pay from our paychecks.
Well, after lots of discussion I recently quit my job to begin a start-up business with a friend. And I just found that I am pregnant, again!
Now, we're behind on our bills once again. I'm looking for a job, but I am really getting sick of this. Where the hell is the money going?
2006-08-16 06:10:35 · 20 answers · asked by ishy11174 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sweety, you two need counseling, and you need access to the money. You need to be able to see the income versus outgo. You have that right....demand it! You will not be able to get a divorce while you're pregnant, no judge will allow it. But, if you love him, this problem is very fixable if the two of you are willing to go into counseling! Good luck!
2006-08-16 06:16:43 · answer #1 · answered by mcnees79 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your marriage should be 50/50. You have every right to see the bills, who they are for and if and when they are paid. You need to take control. Don't assume that they are being paid by your husband, obviously they are not!...Call the companies to make sure payments were made. You might want to check to make sure your on the deed to your house! And all other major bills. Another option is that he might have a gambling problem.
2006-08-16 13:26:57 · answer #2 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea see this is where you should have cared to see where the money was actually going. Call or go to the places and ask them to give you the statement to see how much your husband really pays and see if any other things are in his name. If the amount paid is not what you expect, then there is a slim chance that the money is going to someone else.
2006-08-16 13:17:14 · answer #3 · answered by baby_luv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is not the answer // You need to sit down and seriously ask your husband what is the problem and is there anything you can do to help him// My spouse has a drgree in accounting and they are the same way and i just took control of the bill payments and its better but we have to be carful. Good luck and i hope it works out and it will if both of you sincerly want it to//
2006-08-16 13:20:39 · answer #4 · answered by ma_2st 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the bank and get copies of the bank statements without telling him.Tell him to either turn over the bills to you or get out. Not wanting you to know anything about the bills is like a huge sign here that something is going on. He is destoying your credit as well as his own so take control now before it's to late.
2006-08-16 13:21:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have every right to know where the money is going... can't you do alittle investigating w/o him knowing? check the credit card bills, bank statements, his phone bills... are you sure he's not seeing anyone else? Good luck to you... I'm divorced, for the past 11 years, its been hard on my kids. Try to work it out... get to the bottom of it, even if it causes a fight.
2006-08-16 13:17:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know exactly what you mean. i totally thought i was the only one that thought this. its like he gets paid weekly and i get paid bi-weekly. but somehow my money is the ONLY money we have to go on. He gets paid Friday and he spends his by Monday, then by Tuesday he is asking me for money *again*. we have 2 boys. one from my previous relationship and one is his.
recently i find myself Really unhappy. we are always in debt. to the point where we moved in with my mom to save money because all the bills are half of what they used to be..... yet we still have no money. why is that??? i don't know. if i knew, i would share and both of us would feel a little better :)
as for the divorce. i don't know what to say. i feel the absolute same way. i want to leave but find myself staying so that we wont have the confrontation or arguing or anything. its hard i know.....
if you need anything feel free to talk to me, sounds like we are in the same boat.
2006-08-16 13:23:15 · answer #7 · answered by mellisa m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he have a secret gambling problem?
An addiction that you don't know about? (drugs, prostitution, etc).
Does he have a secret child support payment?
Get an accountant to audit your finances and see where the money is going.
Congratulations on your pregnacy, I hope that you get to the bottom of t his.
Good luck
2006-08-16 13:22:08 · answer #8 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
II understand, someone I know didnt know her husband was fooling with money unitl they were about to be evicted. She accepted his rediculous answers and stayed togehter, until things got even worse and they are now divorced.
Is it possible that he has a second life that you re not aware of? You are in a terrible position. You dont have to run off and divorce jus to consult with an attorney to know what your options are.
Good luck
2006-08-16 13:18:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriages r made in heaven but if only bills r creating d problem between u n ur hubby that can b souted out by u both working.b least bother bou't where d money going.b happy n start earning that help improve ur relationship
2006-08-16 13:28:56 · answer #10 · answered by oogie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋