I'm 14yrs and while I was little my dad practicly put me through hell and back.He's an alcoholic so when he split with his first girlfriend(I was probably 5,she later became my 4th grade teacher)he turned to alcohol.Same with his last which lasted I'll say 1 1/2 yrs.He lost his girlfriend and one of his friends and so he agian turned to alcohol.Even though he didn't live with us,I had to watch him go through all of this.There we periods where he was so bad that he couldn't get a job a was living with us,which stressed my grandma out to the point where I was afraid she would actually leave and never come back.It was that bad.He's still a victom of the bottle but he's back on his feet. Anyway,my real problem is that I am now terrified of guys.Mainy guys at school.I'm scared of them because I'm afraid if I get close to anyone,they'll hurt me like my father did.I just need to find a way to deal.can anyone help me with this? Thanks.
2006-08-16 06:10:12 · 14 answers · asked by aylabob13 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
You need to talk to someone... maybe a counsler at school. What you feel is a normal reaction when you have gone through what you have but it will make dating and later marriage harder. I hope you are able to find someone to talk to that can help you work your feelings out.
2006-08-16 06:18:08 · answer #1 · answered by mommato4boys 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm a guy but my dad was the same way. When mom died he turned to the bottle. I was afraid that I would be an alcoholic like him when I grew up.
I found out it wasn't going to happen because I wouldn't let it happen. I can drink without getting drunk and stop anytime I want. Unfortunatley my son couldn't find the will power to avoid becoming an alcoholic. I helped him overcome it and wish that someone had been there to help my dad when he needed it.
History doesn't have to repeat itself. You know what to watch out for so you'll probably do OK. Your childhood is almost over.
Your will soon be living your own life. You have to leave the bad things in the past and enjoy the life that's ahead of you.
If you use your experience as a guide your own children won't have to suffer as you did. Good luck with your future.
2006-08-16 13:43:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im so sorry that you had to live through this. but dont be afriad to get close to guys. if anything, start talking to a guy and once you feel comfortable around them, tell them what you went through and make them understand. and by then if they are a decent guy they will stay close to you, and be there for you, and be that guy that you never really had in your life. im sure there is a guy out there that would love to care for you and be in that position. try talking to guys, definitly, find someone that you are comfortable with. dont keep pushing them away, and i have learned to not "live according to your past" even though it was such a horrible time, your eventually gonna grow up and need a man in your life. so look around, and be open to your choices.
2006-08-16 13:27:44 · answer #3 · answered by yourrad_letsmakeout♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At fourteen coming from a broken relaqtionship with your own father, you really shouldn't really be worried about boys, or you may find yourself in a abusive realtionship, just for that father figure. Get counsling even if it is at school . Dont worry about boys right now, realtionship are a lot of work, and you need to work on yourself right now..
2006-08-16 13:26:12 · answer #4 · answered by Missinmissy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't be fooled, not all men are the same! (even though sometimes it may seem that way!) you should get to know other guys. maybe then you will change your opnion about them. my parents fought constantly when i was younger then finally divorced when i was a freshman in high school. my dad had always cheated on my mom but she kept forgiving him. i promised myself that i would never get married because i thought that all guys were the same and would cheat on me just like my dad did with my mom. but then after i moved to manchester england from the states, i got to know a lot of different guys, most as friends. getting to know them let me know that all men are different. don't be surprised if they break your heart, i mean it happens. but, they all have something different to offer. just assure yourself of that. hope everything works out!
2006-08-16 13:41:31 · answer #5 · answered by adriana24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first it's ok to be scared of guy's but not all guy's are going to be like that. You just have to tell the guy that yuo are or will be dating what has happened in the past tell him you can't ever get hurt like that again, And hey if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm your girl.
~>Sabrina<~
2006-08-16 13:18:23 · answer #6 · answered by Sabrina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should build friendships with guys and probably in time you will trust them more. Remember not every guys will be like the way your father was, but don't forget that some will be similar. Use good judgment.
2006-08-16 13:23:29 · answer #7 · answered by Jim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to a therapist and get these things worked out. Nobody on here can really help you. You need one on one talking to someone who can guide you through this. See your school counselor or talk to a family member of family friend to help you get into counseling.
2006-08-16 13:19:02 · answer #8 · answered by The Invisible Woman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need real therapy, it will only get worse as you get older, and the ability to maintain good relationships is the most important thing in life.
2006-08-16 13:19:06 · answer #9 · answered by Lisa P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awww. Well, trust is the key thing to any type of friendship. Maybe you ahould talk to them open up to them about your past and they'll understand ya know?
2006-08-16 13:15:50 · answer #10 · answered by K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋