My hubby is adopting my son. My ex was listed on the BC but he is not the father. I have no idea who the father really is. The ex knows he is not the father and hasn't seen my son since he was a month old. Lawyer said I had to call my ex to have him come to her office to sign rights away. I am terrified of this man...extremely abusive. I made the calls against by better judgement and told the ex he was done with his part b/c the lawyers said that was all that is needed from him. Now 2 months before we are done the lawyer decided he should sign yet another form that is already covered in the first one. Her reason is to be just more clear about everything. Knowing I HATE this man and wish never to have anything to do with him she says I have to call him again to make more arrangments. Isn't that pat of her job? Shouldn't she be doing all this? Isn't that part of the reason hubby and I are paying her?
2006-08-16 05:19:47 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
It's part of the ethical duties of the lawyer to follow the instructions of their client, within the bounds of law and the rules of professional conduct.
One of the main purposes of a lawyer is to represent people, to act as a buffer and a spokesperson. This is completely reasonable on your part.
If the lawyer is saying you personally need to call because that's what the court ordered, then that's one thing. Otherwise, you should talk to your lawyer and inform her that she's not doing the job you hired her for. And depending on the outcome, go look for another lawyer.
2006-08-16 05:26:04 · answer #1 · answered by coragryph 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you paying a flat fee or by the hour? If it is flat fee, then you should have your lawyer do the contacting. If you are paying by the hour then it may be cheaper for you to make the call. It has been a while but when my brother adopted his wife's daughter all the had to do was run an ad in several papers. The natural father where abouts weren't know for sure, so they had to run ads in local papers and in local papers where the ex's was last know to have lived.
2006-08-16 12:33:14 · answer #2 · answered by miki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WEll, while you make the call, you are actually saving money, because she can't charge you for the "time expended" on calling and talking to him , leaving messages and the like.
However, in your situation, I would if affordable, write her or call her and explain that you can not bring yourself to talk to this man again and that you would appreciate her writting him a letter to the point of what it is he wants, and send a copy of the form she wants signed to him with instructions to have him notorize it and return it. I would also ask her to then follow up with that letter by a phone call within a reasonable amount of time, ten days or so, to talk to him if he hasn't signed it. Sounds to me like she might have "forgotten" to have him sign this form in the beginning. She could simply explain that as an oversight on her firms part, the enclosed letter was not presented at his initial meeting for signature and she would like to get this done expediously in order to close out the matter.
She is your mouth at this point. Simply tell her nicely to do her job.
2006-08-16 12:29:53 · answer #3 · answered by avalm@sbcglobal.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For most of us our upbringing sets us up to be abused by people who specialize is fields requiring years of study and training. For this reason we perceive they have the power and this intimidates us. We have trouble understanding that someone like this works for us when we hire them. Because of this we are rarely challenge them when we feel they are not working in our best interest.
Your lawyer either owns or works for a business and therefore puts her business success first. Her first concern is to put as much of your fee in her business bank account and not spend it by using time (time is money in a business like this) to make calls and other small matters.
Read your contract carefully and make sure it does not state you are required to do these things. Some lawyers will do this to reduce their fees. This allows them to work on other cases in the time they would spend making calls. If your contract does state it is your responsibility, then take it as another lesson learned. The lesson? To always read anything you are going to sign, throughly.
If it is not your responsibility you need to confront your lawyer about this. If she continues in this behavior you need to report her to the State Bar Association of the State in which you live. In most States lawyers are licensed under the authority of the State Supreme Court. You can file a complaint with them or the State authority over lawyers.
If you are intimidated to the point of not wanting to confront or report this lawyer, her bad work ethics will continue and, she will not represent your best interests. Her interest will continue to be how much of your fee goes into hers or the firms bank account.
2006-08-16 13:59:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it is the reason your lawyer should call. Insulating you from nasty people on the other side of a court proceeding is what she does for a living. Did she give you any real reason why you must call?. Doesn't she realize that it is just another opportunity for your ex to harass you by refusing to sign papers?
2006-08-16 12:27:46 · answer #5 · answered by Rich Z 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes she should make the call. You should not be contacting him, in case he decides to be vindictive and say that you coersed him into signing, or promised him something for signing. Better to keep in all "legal" that way you can not be held liable for anything. And yes, I do believe that is what you are paying for and most lawyers usually have assistants that handle these sort of things for them.
2006-08-16 12:29:38 · answer #6 · answered by carrie love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is done that way partially to save you money and partially because most people, when they get an attorney calling their house, will freak. You know this person and you will likely have better luck with this than the attorney will. Just make the call, explain that it is just the way it is and move on with it.
2006-08-16 12:28:16 · answer #7 · answered by redsgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am suprised the lawyer even asked you to do it the first time. Is she trying to save you money but not adding to your bills? Have her asked her to make the phone call? If she refuses you should at least talk to another attorney.
Kudos for moving on with your life, though.
2006-08-16 12:28:05 · answer #8 · answered by thebuffettour 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have a poor attorney. Find someone who specializes in domestic and family law. Call them and explain your situation. Find someone you like and trust and have your attorney forward your file to them. They can review the legal documents and make any necessary phone calls. You are paying your attorney to represent you, not have you do the leg work. Of course, any attorney will charge you for the billable hours, but it sounds like it would be worth it to have someone else deal with your ex-husband.
2006-08-16 12:28:07 · answer #9 · answered by Ken D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to call the person and talk to him , you should be the one who should stay away from your Ex your lawyer is getting paid to do this job.
2006-08-16 12:25:11 · answer #10 · answered by Burhan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋