She is thirty-five, still living with her parents and is grossly overweight. I know her parents are her problem because they never taught her how to take care of herself. Do you think that I can help her?
2006-08-16 05:00:33 · 18 answers · asked by Elizabeth S 3 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
This is so hard because she doesn't want to help herself. She is comfortable because mom and dad pay for her car, she doesn't have to pay rent and believe me she has the most awful eating habits. I can't believe her parents are like that. But do you think there is anyway I can get her to want to help herself? I already told her about the illnesses she can get from being so obese and she doesn't care.
2006-08-16 05:13:39 · update #1
I'm the one who is blaming her parents. I see the way they are so uninvolved in her life. Yes, they do pay her bills, but what happens when they are gone? Who will pay her bills then? They're not helping!
2006-08-16 05:17:52 · update #2
I can understand that you want to help your friend you love her and you are worried about her unhealthy way of life because the way things are with her now are just not right. However I unfortunately have to tell you that you cannot help her and make her change her way of life and lose a big part of her weight. She herself needs to see that she needs to change her way of life and lose weight to stay healthy and as long as she doesn't want to change and really do something about it, it's a waste of energy from your side. All you can do now is advice her and tell her that whenever she is ready to change her life that you will be there for her to support and help her in every way possible. In the mean time just be her friend and love, accept and respect her for the way she is. If she knows that you are truly her friend no matter what and I believe that you are a true and wonderful friend to her, she might someday find the courage and the strength inside herself to make the big step and change her lifestyle and lose all her extra weight or at least a big part of it.
Good luck and best wishes.
2006-08-16 10:56:17 · answer #1 · answered by aysha 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure you can help!
You can have a big impact on her, just by being her friend and verbalizing what her good points are will boost her self esteem.
Giving her confidence that maybe she lacks can change a persons whole attitude. Maybe you and her can do some activities that are physical together.. start her off slow since she is grossly overweight.. maybe go bowling with her, its exercise that she could probably handle.
Window shopping, the mall, or flea markets is another way to get her out of the house and walking.
If you ever eat out or get lunch together, make healthy choices and maybe she will follow suit.
You're a good friend.. You'll find a way to make a difference in her life.
2006-08-16 05:12:42 · answer #2 · answered by ironica7 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first you should probally point out that she is grossly overweight and explain how this screws over her organs and can lead to depression. Then Help her learn how to take care of herself, take her to the gym twice a week, help her diet, and teach her personal hygine. Help her obtain a good job and move out of her parents house... bring up the point of who is going to pay her bills when they are dead. And if she still dosen't come around tell her that if she dosen't clean up her act you are out of her life... simple as that.
Bobby
2006-08-16 07:17:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just by being her friend, true friend will be an immense start. Speak positively around her, encourage her with just showing her that you are her friend no matter what. When she sees the joy of living and being accepted without condemnation, she will begin to be more positive about life and the changes will begin. Just be cautious to not lose yourself in her issues.
Encourage her to get out and do things with you. Encourage her to look her best by going to makeovers, shopping, the spa, the gym. Show her how it is fun to take care of yourself.
Show her the joy of being independent. Maybe go apartment shopping for the fun of it. Look at the expensive high rise apartments, look at the more reasonably priced ones that may fit in her budget. Show her how easy it is to manage your own finances.
There are many ways you can encourage her just by allowing her to see a successful woman living on her own.
Go for it! Good luck!
2006-08-16 05:11:52 · answer #4 · answered by Goddess T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, try to encourage her to lose weight. Be careful of how you choose to do that, though, because some people think that encouragement means you make fun of them. Next, try to encourage her to think of something she'd be interested in as far as work is concerned, or if she doesn't want to do that, maybe she'd like to go to a college to further her education. If she wants to continue to live at home with her parents, I'd back her up on that because then she wouldn't have to worry about too many bills. I hope everything works out.
2006-08-16 05:07:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely but shes 35 shell probably never be able to learn something new. Convince her that shes doing harm to herself. Heck, I lived with my parents until I was 24 and I moved in with my sister. She straightened me out and I couldnt thank her enough for that.
2006-08-16 05:05:22 · answer #6 · answered by ELDreamer81 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can, but she has to want to help herself first. Have you talked to her about it? If you have and she is very sensitive about the issue, she's probably not ready. If she seems willing and open to try, she probably just doesn't know how to proceed, in which case you can help her.
Also, she's gotta move out of the house.... Time for her to get her own life.
2006-08-16 05:06:25 · answer #7 · answered by monkey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be she don't want her parents to die,so if she there she may think nothing could happen to them.I still live with my Dad and I'm 22.But He just lost his wife and I lost my Mom and he in his 70s so I help him around the house.
2006-08-16 05:15:18 · answer #8 · answered by Nails 4 breakfast,tacks 4 snacks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes of course
all u have to do is try to talk with her heart to heart
try to listen her more
dont make her misjudge your effort to help her
but u also have to know whether she wants to be helped or not
cuz it does really depend on her.
or why dont u try to talk with her parents instead of her
im sure they just dont realize what happen to her daughter eventhough they're living in same roof
sometimes people jus need to be remind...
hopefully her parents would realize as soon as possible
and i wish your effort doenst come to an end...
but if it doesnt work
jus remind ur self that at least u try ur best
2006-08-16 05:18:11 · answer #9 · answered by ViLandRa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you need to tell her something that she may not like to hear. But you have her best interests at heart. To put it lightly maybe you could tell her that you thought it would be a good idea to work out and the gym and start weightwatchers or something together.
2006-08-16 05:06:43 · answer #10 · answered by mareda25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋