I spent most of the day paddling in the sea and when I came out there were loads of barnacles stuck to my ar$e?
2006-08-16 04:49:47 · 20 answers · asked by Grinner5000 4 in Beauty & Style ➔ Skin & Body
If it's a really severe infestation, the quickest way is to get that Cunard logo you have tattooed on your posterior removed by laser.
Then, go back into the sea with a large mirror, and show the little fellas that they're anchored to an inappropriate location. Within 2-3 minutes, most of them will drop off into the water muttering 'sorry, my mistake' or 'I could've SWORN...'
Any barnacles that were sleeping or suffering from hangovers during this exercise (there's always a couple) can be carefully scraped off later.
This should leave less scarring than the nitric acid method, and, if videotaped, makes a great ice-breaker for client presentations.
Vitamin C, administered orally as vodka & orange, can help your skin heal faster afterwards. Maintain this regimen for 20-30 years for besh resulsh.
2006-08-16 22:00:24 · answer #1 · answered by Bowzer 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have suffered from barnacles on my hull for years now. I used to give them a regular scraping however, a bit like athelets foot the more you scratch at it the worse it gets. I now use a barnacle removal cream. I am not promoting thier product but I would suggest Barnaway. Just ask at your local pharmacy, it's available without perscription and should take care of those pesky barncles within a week.
My hull is now barnacle free and I have never felt better...
2006-08-16 11:57:32 · answer #2 · answered by talkengine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my, barnacles on your posterior????
Call the barnacle removers straight away.... Ben Dover and Phil Mcavity will be with you within the hour.... and don't go paddling again....
2006-08-16 12:01:39 · answer #3 · answered by Just Moi 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try to find someone who does Swedish deep massage. The Swedes are old Vikings, they spent a lot of time on the open sea for months at a time.
2006-08-16 11:55:17 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ah Harrr ye matey, I believe Roger the Cabin Boy is experienced with these kinds of 'issues'.
2006-08-16 14:50:48 · answer #5 · answered by Skull 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Scrub Scrub Scrub
2006-08-17 05:59:17 · answer #6 · answered by lindsay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll give you a bottle of Nitric acid from the lithograhpy room. It'll eat everything you need of get rid of *fast*.
2006-08-16 23:05:38 · answer #7 · answered by Lonely Soul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now you know why dogs like Barneyboy drag themselves around on pebbles with their feet in the air...
2006-08-16 19:07:09 · answer #8 · answered by sarah c 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got to singe them off with a lighter. It'll burn a little, but you'll be smooth again in no time.
2006-08-16 11:54:07 · answer #9 · answered by Sleek 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Scrape the gangplank
2006-08-16 11:56:31 · answer #10 · answered by goodbye 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋