WE'VE BEEN LIVING TOGETHER FOR 10 YRS, AND I REALLY LOVE HIM ALOT...HE'S ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM A COUPLE OF TIMES BUT THE PROBLEM IS THAT I HAVE "LUPUS"... I RECEIVE S.S.I. AND I ALSO HAVE MEDICAID...THE THING IS THAT IF I MARRY HIM I'M RUNNING THE RISK OF LOSING ALL MY BENEFITS BECAUSE HE MAKES PRETTY GOOD MONEY. BUT IT'S STILL NOT ENOUGH TO COVER THE MEDICAL EXPENSES I REQUIRE. I'VE TRIED GETTING INSURED ELSEWHERE BUT NOBODY WANTS TO INSURE ME BECAUSE OF WHAT I HAVE...WHAT DO I DO?? DO I JUST KEEP ON LIVING WITH HIM AND FORGET ABOUT GETTING LEGALLY MARRIED OR DO I JUST GIVE UP MY BENEFITS AND MARRY HIM EVEN THOUGH I "REALLY" NEED THEM????
2006-08-16 04:40:15 · 10 answers · asked by SUN~SHINE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can see your dilemma... and I am sorry that you are in a position in which you have to choose either one or the other. Obviously, your medicines are of vital importance since I imagine that they affect the quality of your life... and I can also see how having the wedding or the ceremony declaring your love for your honey is also important to you.
I'm not sure if you'd consider it an option but... have you ever considered having a ceremony (just like any other wedding) but leave out the "legal" part. You can invite family and friends... declare your love and commitment for one another in front of them and God (if you so desire) and yet still keep your benefits. ?? This way you perhaps receive the recognition of a married couple but you can still afford your meds.
Perhaps, later, when your hubby makes enough money to afford your meds... the two of you can go down to the justice of the peace and make it "legal". Just a thought.
I wish you luck in making your decision. Best wishes!
2006-08-16 04:54:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is there a way to compromise? Could you talk to a clergy man and ask about some type of religious union without the actual legal papers? It would be a marriage to both of you, but not in the eyes of the government so you could keep your benefits.
With all the people who live together now without marrying, there should be not problem with you two and joint accounts or anything like that, so the religious union would be OK if that is what you want.
2006-08-16 04:56:18 · answer #2 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do you need a piece of paper to prove that you love and want to be with only him ?if you marry your sure to loose your benefits , do think you can satisfy him all sickly and decripped ???
use you head here sweet heart ,, your health and personal well being is a little more important than a piece of paper dont you think ? if hes stayed with you for 10 years already then id say he understands for the most part . i know that to some people marriage is important , (not me) but you have factors that the adverage person dose not have to concider ... just be happy !
trust me marriage aint all its cracked up to be anyway ! lol
2006-08-16 05:00:35 · answer #3 · answered by .... 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man, that's a tough situation; it must be tearing you apart to have to choose. Sucks that they that happens, but it happens all too often. My mom's in a similar boat, except that she is married and can't get medical help b/c her husband makes too much money (but not enough to get them insurance).
Anyway, hard as it is, I'd honestly just stay where I was. Just know in your heart that you love him. But it's your health and you need those benefits to survive, right? Without them your health will suffer? Explain it to him that way. Chances are, he knows already, and he understands. He may just be asking you so that you know he wants to marry you.
Good luck to you.
2006-08-16 04:51:56 · answer #4 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is just a piece of paper. Your love is more important. Why risk losing your benefits to get a certificate of something you both already know to be true?
2006-08-16 04:50:15 · answer #5 · answered by Steven S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i doesn't have the opt to make her spouse having an abortion, that's unethical. yet you may make a toddler with him. He has to sparkling up the relatives difficulty, no longer you, when you consider that no longer you're married. And he will. it form of feels to be constructive that he will love your immediately ahead and also in my view you. definite, the marriage-question might want to be unusual after a time. he will love his previous relatives and the recent relatives parallel. yet you wrote that you're properly knowledgeable. so that you ought to entice close that too a lot care of the formality can make undesirable the reality. So settle for the unusual difficulty, do no longer opt to sparkling up it, instead of him, or instead of the existence or God.
2016-11-25 20:52:35 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! well is that the only thing that holding you back? well you can still get medicaid just not full coverage! well you need to think about it long and hard!
2006-08-16 04:51:33 · answer #7 · answered by lisaslife02 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it ain't broke don't fix it. You sound like he loves you, and you love him. So what's the problem? Do you really need that piece of paper?
2006-08-16 04:59:37 · answer #8 · answered by Ironball 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to ur man about this....in some states you are already concerted married! Just talk about it with him...
2006-08-16 04:59:28 · answer #9 · answered by LeeLynn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do what u feel is right.............
2006-08-16 05:04:38 · answer #10 · answered by useless 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋