Is it realistic for human beings to be Monogomous?

Question

You can argue that humans being given the ability to reason and exercise will power that there should be no problem being monogomous. I am a married female, married 12 yrs with two kids, a good sex life with my spouse, happy household, the picture....two kids, dog, cat, etc.....I'm successful, have a post grad education..blah blah blah....
why is it then, that I am constantly eyeing up men as a potential partner in crime, I have never cheated before and it bothers me. Any married folk have similar experiences

Answer 1

I think it is definitely realistic...but most people don't have the discipline, desire, or true love for their partner to hold true to it. Most people are instrinistically weak in nature.

Answer 2

Its all a state of mind.

You seem like you have it all, but you still think the grass is greener on the other side, and you want to go running bare-foot in it. Well, just remember all that you will be throwing away if you hop that fence.

Monogamy is a state of mind, a matter of pride and respect, and in this day and age - the law (because the lawyers just LOVE adulterers - both sides make an absolute fortune!).

Personally, I take my marriage completely seriously, and don't ever consider straying. My philosophy has always been, "you can look at the menu wherever you go, as long as you ALWAYS eat at home."

Answer 3

I believe it is realistic for us to be monogomus!!!
At one time or another we have all see someone who catches our eye. But if you are on the "LOOKOUT" for someone else then perhaps it is time to sit back & evaluate your life & your situation.
I don't feel that there is anything wrong with your "noticing" a handsome man or your husband "noticing" a pretty woman. The problem enters in to it when you decide to "ACT". If you make that decision there is NO TURNING BACK!!!!
Remember that you are NOT the ONLY person who would be effected by your putting your looking into action. How many people would you want to hurt just so you can get off???
If you want to screw around at least have the decency to get a divorce.

Answer 4

I too have been married since 1994 and do the same thing. I love my husband, we have 2 great kids, but I also find myself eyeballing certain men as potential partners in crime. For me it isnt about love, but perhaps about excitement. I wish I knew, maybe there is a 12 year itch. My job is to try not to scratch.

Answer 5

not only realistic but Biblical. Read what the Good Book says about lusting in your heart being adultery, then post a real question. You should tell your spouse so he knows what he is up against. You are not being honest with him and no one deserves dishonesty in an apparently "happy" relationship, or unhappy for that matter. Then re-read your marriage vows. Get a clue then get therapy.

Answer 6

Because you're married, honey, not dead. You're allowed to look and fully expected to fantasize. What makes it wrong is acting on it. You're only cheating if you actually flirt or proposition one of those men. It's perfectly normal and perfectly healthy to fantasize.

Why is that, though? Honestly, I have no idea. I do know it has to do with boredom. You know, "the grass is always greener" syndrome. Oh, and yes, I do it, too, fantasize. In fact, our neighbor is drool worthy; good lord how I love to watch that man mow his lawn in the summer..... ;)

It's normal. I wouldn't want to get caught doing it, b/c I wouldn't want my husband to feel bad, but it's normal.

Answer 7

Just weigh the 2min - 2hrs of satisfaction vs. the Years and years of pain, destruction and disappointment to your family, your husband, your kids, and future grand kids, not to mention embarrassment from your friends and co-workers. Its not that hard, grow up. if push comes to shove start some role-playin with the husband once a month. you both can dress up and pretend to be a fantasy for each other.

Answer 8

Yes I think it´s realistic, ´cause that´s mainly what you seem to be asking, yes we´re also animals but have an actual sense when it comes down to who and why we´re gonna have sex, I think it´s up to how you were brought up, what kind of relationship your parents had, well just about everything...don´t think it´s that unusual to have those feelings.

Answer 9

It is very realistic to expect and insist on.

How is your self-esteem these days? Maybe you should try counseling before you lose the good life you are talking about!

Answer 10

It's possible to be monogamous, but it's not natural or healthy. Talk to your husband about swinging. He's probably wanted to ask you about it for years but was afraid of your reaction.