My GF says she's delayed for two weeks already, we both agreed to consult a Doctor. Nevertheless, she didn't asked me yet to marry her and so do I. Is it fair for anyone of us to settle because we might have a baby? Is it fair either for the baby if we'll do that? What if in the long run we both discovered we really don't love each other that much and that we need more time and space for ourselves? Any opinion will be appreciated.
2006-08-16 04:23:03 · 25 answers · asked by Bully Charmer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't marry just because of a child. It can end up being more harmful to the child in the long run. No one should marry for any other reason than love. Just because you aren't married, it doesn't mean you cannot be a great father. You can be a large part of the child's life and if you aren't married or living together, this will be the normal thing for your child and they will think nothing of it. to marry and a few years later divorce and you move out would hurt the child more.
2006-08-16 04:29:49 · answer #1 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well first find out if she is really pregnant first. Just because a girl is late a few weeks doesn't mean she is pregnant. Yes that is a sign, but stress can cause a girl to be late. I have had girlfriends in the past be late 2 or 3 weeks and girls miss a month. Then have there period.Take pregnacy test first. They are like $10 at CVS or Walmart. Maybe more. It has been awhile. Then consult a doctor if it comes up positive.
Second you should never marry because of something. This is never good. Now if she keeps the baby, you should not run away. You still have a obligation to her and the baby. You should stay in her life and support her and the baby. You don't have to be with her, but still support. If you all are in love in a few years you can get married when time is right and the baby is older. I had a friend do this.
2006-08-16 11:35:16 · answer #2 · answered by Vthokie25 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ok you should never get married just because a girl gets pregnant. If you are not in love chances are the marriage will not work. Then the child with have to go through the emotions of a divorce, fights, and whatever else the frustrations bring. Its better for the child to grow up with two individual parents then a married couple that didnt really love each other.
2006-08-16 12:18:30 · answer #3 · answered by Dana L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, Buy a pregnancy test! They are 99% accurate.
And as for marriage it will always be a gamble, no-one can predict the future so we cant say for sure if it will last forever and any relationship takes work at some point. Look at it this way would you have proposed to her if she wasnt pregnant ? If your answer is no then it's no and youre not ready for that yet. But if she is pregnant you are already going to have something between the two of you that will bind you together for a long, long time but it doesnt mean that you have to marry her to prove that you are going to be there.
2006-08-16 12:19:40 · answer #4 · answered by kookiboo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. Never ever ever get married because you're having a baby, especially if you aren't even sure she is pregnant. Believe me, marriage is hard enough; at least start out with love. My husband and I did things a bit backwards....I got pregnant 6 months into our relationship and we ended up getting married when our now oldest son was a year old. It was my husband's last year of college to top it off, and we got married because initially for free housing. Oh, he tells me now he wouldn't have married me if he didn't love me and want to spend the rest of his life with me, but I'm not entirely certain we didn't originally get married b/c he felt obligated. Ten years later, we're still together, and we love each other more now than we did then, our marriage has grown a lot since then, but those first few years were not easy.
Don't do that yourselves. Marry because you love her and you want to spend the rest of your life with her. If you don't, move on. You can still be a good, very present father without living in the same house. You'll be miserable.
2006-08-16 11:36:02 · answer #5 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but perhaps you should have been thinking about this before having consensual sex. You don't say whether or not you were engaging in protected sex, but generally if contraception is used properly, there is only a very very small chance of pregnancy.
Lecture over.
You don't necessarily have to marry the girl, but get ready for a lifelong dedication both emotionally and financially to that little boy or girl. It is your choice to be there and be a doting dad to that child or not - you don't need to be married to her either way. But, if you truly love her and the feeling is mutual, perhaps it would be the decent thing to do by making an honest woman of her. Whether you choose to marry or not, if your gf is pregnant, I hope you at least give your child the love and attention it deserves.
2006-08-16 11:33:30 · answer #6 · answered by Disgruntled Biscuit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Then why did you have sex with her????????????? If you didn't have sex with her and or used safe sex then this wouldn't be a plm.... and now you both did it and oh well you both bring the baby in this world... you couldn't do it alone and she couldn't do alone and if both it did bring the world...... wow, Why I am mad? because you think about your self and her self and then not think about baby?????????
Man, Look at me and I ex wife and I married she and I have no kids why? we fight and aruge all the time and my ex wife said I want baby, I told her why we fight all the time and why baby? she said well might work out better ??? I told her no no no no she gets mad at me oh well I am thinking best thing for this.. so We end it the marriage and I remarried to different woman and she knows that I don't want kids and got married 97 and found out baby due in 2003 and born and my wife though I left her because I didn't wnat baby. It change me because that my job to take care of my wife and daughter and then 2004 son came along then 2007 march will be 3rd on the way.. and Of course we have up and down and didn't me what if we don't love eachother anymore or something.
That made me so mad that people think sex is fun and wow and bam she got pregnant..... if you both don't want to get married that fine until later down the road who knows will get married. for now you and your gf need to work it out and try make thing better before baby born if not then you both really screw that baby life. I don't feel sorry for you or GF .. I felt bad for that baby. wow.
2006-08-16 11:50:58 · answer #7 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a noble thing to do, maybe the right thing but the child will be the one to suffer in the end. There are other alternatives & this is the year 2006. You can make it better for the child in other ways and that should be your first priority. Don't be a selfish adult or let your GF be a selfish adult.
2006-08-16 11:30:03 · answer #8 · answered by COblonde 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no reason to get married because of this,the child will still have a mother and father whether you are together or not i have three kids and i got married way after they were born.At the end of the day if your not hundred percent commited to the relationship then dont stay together for the sake of the child,it wont work and the child will suffer in the end.
2006-08-16 11:32:21 · answer #9 · answered by nitrokev37 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't love one another then find an alternative way of taking responsibility. The child should be paramount as he/she didn't ask to come into a situation like this. Growing up is hard enough as it is. At least be good friends to the mother to be and stand by your child financially and emotionally.
2006-08-16 15:24:34 · answer #10 · answered by xbkw46 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋