FAMILY problems affecting me..help?

Question

My parents have many arguments that hurt me because I know the nature of the issues and it comes down to my dad not appreciating my mom what so ever. I really need help coping with this? It hurts me to see my mom cry and unahppy. I know it sounds easy to say they should split..but they have been together for many years and that is something my mom would want however shes not getting the same feedback from my dad. This is too hectic, and i really need help this is making me a person i dont want to be..with the public i can be very mean & deep down im not as happy as I think i am not???
any suggestions all your info will be so helpful and i thank you!

Answer 1

It is so difficult when parents are fighting. And it really is not fair to you: you are not part of the arguement, and yet swept up in the fever and vehemence of it.
You are very kind to appreciate your mother's feelings in this. But, it would seem that they are merely fighting, and not resolving any of their problems. Considering that they are still married, I would try and recommend some marriage counselling or intervention with some of their friends. Someone needs to moderate this that the issues can be addressed, and whether or not they do stay together, something can happen.
You currently are placed the burden of bearing this problem by yourself, and that is not your responsibility. It is a problem concerning them, and if they cannot resolve it themselves, someone needs to help them reach a conclusion. Even if your mother has to be the assertive one and decide for herself, it would be better than them to keep fighting. Try and talk to her about it, or both of your parents: how deeply this is affecting you.
Just stay strong, though. Your personality has been altered, yes, but it is but merely weighed down by the circumstances. Your vibrant self will return when your parents address their conflict. Talk to them, and see if they would go to some sort of counselling. Otherwise, have some of either your friends, their friends, or both help you out. Good luck.

Answer 2

It is never easy for a child to watch their parents go down this road. I know I have ben there. If you like I was you want to take on the world and find the anser to thier problems but sadly they are the only ones who can fix them. a few things you can do to cope is see if you can get them to sit down with you and tell them how their fighting all the time is making you feel ask them if they could try real hard not to let it happen so much when you are around. talk to a counceor at school or a closer friend sombody you can confide your deepest secrets to it really helps. If you dont have that available to you then start a journal and write it all down keeping it all bottled up will only make it worse its not going to be any easier to deal with if they do split up atleast not at fist but it will get beter over time just remember none of it is your fault and they will always love you even if they cant love each other anymore Just dont turn to drugs or alcohal to mask your pain and problems (I did that) trust me it does not work it only hides the prob for a while and when it hits you again its 100 timeas worse

if you would like to chat further about it in privete you are wecome to im me on yahoo messanger @lonly_male4u or email @ [e-mail]

I hope i was able to shed a litle light on this for you having been there myself i know what your going through and how much it can hurt but in the long run going through it has made me a much stronger person

try and keep your head up and have a good day

Answer 3

This problem is really hard to get through. My parents are going through the same thing and there is not much to do. I would say split up, but since that is not an option it makes this thing even harder. I would have to say that you shouldtry to comfort you mom when she is down, but then there is the problem of yor parents argueing. To fix this you should tell your parents that they have a child and they need to stop being selfish, by argueing, and take care of their children. This is the same thing I did and it stopped my parents from argueing. Hopefully this advice will help you.
Good Luck

Answer 4

Well one things you could try is getting them both to see some of the finer points in each other, possibly some home counselling with you as a mediator because you are their daughter and you love them. Especially talking to you father about how much you mom does and contributes to the family. Using key points like these can be helpful in solving family problems. Good luck!

Answer 5

I would suggest family counseling, seriously, helps a bunch! Try talking, and spending time with each individual parent. Know that this isnt ur fault, this is their relationship, and I'm sorry u have to suffer too. Are they staying together just for the children? Tell them how u feel, honestly, everything u feel. If it helps write them both a letter with all ur thoughts and feelings, will make a difference. God bless babe!

Answer 6

i've had the same problem too. but my dad was an alcoholic so i used to be the topic of the argument becuase my father always tried to verbally abuse me. i used to be scared of them divorcing to and asked them to wait until i was 18 before they split. but they split when i was 14 since my parents couldn't take it. i know you want them to stay together and your mother seems she want s to be with your father too but it might be best if they split. it'll be hard if they do. i know i went through about a year and a half of being depressed and actually hating my father(he disowned me and told me to get my blood tested to see if i was his). one thing is always be there for your mom no matter what and if you are ever being verbally abused tell your mother immediately and she will do something about. best thing you can do is be strong and stick with friends until the arguing stops and there is a compromise.

Answer 7

I think that you should go to a very close friends house and spend the night and just talk about it or just have a fun night and forget about it. I remember the fight myparents had and my dad and momm were both crying and screeming at eachother and that is when I knew that they were getting divorced and like 1 month later they told me and my brother that they were getting seperated. And they just got divorced and my mom is pregnant with his baby. But during that time i just hung out with my friends and they helped me out. I think you shoudl do the same.

Answer 8

Your parents need to resolve their issues. It's not your place to handle their problems. You can let them both know how you feel.
And how their actions are affecting you. But they are the ones to seek help if they really want to be happy together.......or apart.
And whatever they choose is something you will need to accept, and deal with. Perhaps they are staying together for your sake. At any rate, you all may be pleasantly surprised with whatever the best outcome may be.

Answer 9

Talking will help but they probably have grown out of one another. Its there arguments and there business. If they have not split its easy to fight when your married , you have allot but you work it out. It doesn't mean they will split. They are human and adults. If your mom is not happy she will leave vise verse. Anyways good luck.

Answer 10

If you can find the courage, talk to your parents. Tell them that, while they have a right to have disagreements, they do NOT have the right to make your life worse because of those disagreements. Tell them you're hurting, and maybe suggest they talk to someone to help them sort through whatever problems they have.

If they won't talk to someone, maybe you could?

And if you can't tell them this...write it out...or even print out your question here :)