Am I a mean person?

Question

Sometimes I feel so smothered by most of my friends. I'm 28 and have a family and I don't feel like I have the time to keep such close contact with them constantly. I feel like everytime I start getting close to a new friend that I begin to feel smothered. Either they will call to often, a neighbor friend that rings my bell 5 minutes after I get home from work and then every hour after that. I also feel that I try to not get close to people because they always seem to become a burden. Like constantly asking to borrow money, watch there kids, borrow things, etc etc. Should making friends feel like I'm acquiring all this added stress and responsibility or am I just a b*tch?

Answer 1

Seems to me that you are a very nice person who cant say no anyone, thats why perhaps people take advantage of you, thats all there is to it, you are of a very humble nature which is why people tend to take advantage slightly, dont be harsh with anyone. please be polite and learn to decline politely too.

Answer 2

Well no you are not a mean person, you need your space too, and expecially if you have your own family. I have a few friends like that, so i now either don't answer the door or the phone, or if i do answer them i let them know i am too busy too talk, and after a while they stopped doing it all the time and only calls or comes by once a week, or i will call them and let them know if they want to come by or call they can. Witch i am a stay at home mom of 2 girls so i am not too busy but you know sometimes i want to spend my extra time with my kids and family. Well i hope everything turns out okay.

Answer 3

No, you're not a b*tch.

There is nothing wrong with what you are doing......I don't think.
Do you tell these women that you can't watch their kids or you don't feel comfortable in loaning things? What about the neighbor that bee-lines for your house before you you even put your purse down? Do you answer the door & tell her that you just got home & have things to do before you can visit? Or do you let her barge in?

Maybe you're choosing this type of friend for a reason, since it's a reoccurring relationship. In romanctic situations, I tell people that, we teach others how to treat us. The same goes for platonic relationships. Take a look at yourself. You are doing the same dance, only with a different person.
Any relationship takes work, but it shouldn't be burdensome.

Answer 4

friends do ask for favores but i guess what you are going though is stress and you need to take a break. be careful on all that anger that you have because soon enough you will explode and that wont be pretty.dont answer your phone if that is what gets you mad.pick it up but then hang up so then you dont have to hear the ringing and the doorbell dont answer. take a break then and now because stress can kill a person and literally. dont worry things will turn out ok

Answer 5

You're not a b**ch. Making friends shouldn't cause stress. I suggest you be open with your friends about how important they are to you and what kind of time you have available to them. Manage their expectations before they "smother" you. If they can't handle what little time you do have available to share with them, then you either need to decide to modify your life for them, or to let the friendship go.

There is no rule on how much time you MUST spend with a friend.

Answer 6

I totally understand where you are coming from, you have a family. it's stressful, but you need time with the girls too. Don't be a meanie b/c you never know when you might need a friend.,

Answer 7

just sounds to me that you know what you want and that you just don't want to share anything with anyone... not a problem with that... if you don't mind not having a lot of friends then who cares?

Answer 8

the people you describe are not friends...