Age difference in a relationship?

Question

I am 27 years old and in a relationship with a 42 year old women. This has been going on for 3 years, happily. She now wants to marry me.
Is this accetable. I am slightly concerned. I do love her, but I am thinking longterm, right now she looks really good, but what happens for example when she is 50 and I am 35, or when she is 60 and I am 45. I am a little paranoid that people will think I am her son outside.
I am also slightly concerned that maybe when I am 29, 30 etc I may suddenly want a family off my own (she has 2 kids from prvious marriage, both getting older now), she is unable to have more kids.

Does this relationship have a future, please any advice would be great.

Answer 1

Well consider it this way why care about what people think? If you love her, her looks wouldn't matter to you whatsoever and you wouldn't care what others thought of you and her being together. As for children there is always adoption or a surrogate that are options.

The relationship will work if you just concentrated on yourself and her instead of worrying about what others might think. But if that's all you're really concerned about than you need to sit down and think about the relationship you're in seriously.

Answer 2

Personally...if your concerned enough to ask this question then if I were you I'd do some real soul searching before taking the next step.

My ex and I were 13 years age difference. We never once thought about the difference when we dated or were married (20 years). Our divorce had nothing to do with that. Quite a few people I know have a gap in age, my sister was married to a man 32 years older than her, the only bad thing was he has passed away at 79 and she is only 52 now (been gone 5 years now). My daughter's husband is 5 years younger than her.
If you love someone and want to marry what people think should be the furthermost thing from your mind, (I am speaking about strangers not well meaning friends and family). Statistics prove that opposites attract, this is not limited to tall-short, fat-thin, dark-light haired, plain Jane-pretty boy Floyd...it also includes young-old...if it is what YOU want.

Answer 3

Your question makes me think you are not sure you want to go that far.It is possible for age difference to work.People say age is a number but please take this from somebody who has experienced this the younger person will eventually roam.Basically because they will not have many things in common.You should be concerned about in the future wanting a family.You have basically answered your own question.Im not really sure what causes people to date someone that there is years differnce in age but i can say in my situation i concluded i was very hurt from my marriage and this was just a stage i had to go through and it is very difficult on the older woman when the breakup occurs but i survived and am now happily married to a man my age.Good Luck.

Answer 4

I think you need to answer this one yourself. You said that you love her, if you truly love her then age does not matter. If you two get along great then what's the problem? Don't be superficial about looks and age...it's all about love. If you feel that you want to have kids of your own, well then maybe that's enough to look somewhere else. I think you should sit down with her and put everything (I mean everything) out on the table. The only way to work through this is to open up to her and put your feelings out there and see if you can come to a common ground or not. That's my advice...talk to her and do not hold anything back at all. Good luck to ya...

Answer 5

Well first off my mom and dad are 13 years apart and have been married for over 15 years now. It does sound like there is more to this all that you havn't talked about with her. You can love her but if you can't see yourself with her as you both grow older then it maybe time to go your own ways. There is no reason to get married if you will not be happy!

Answer 6

I would say you had your fun time to move on. It almost seems like you liked her because she was sort of a mother figure. She probably does a lot for you! But you are right if you are feeling this way now. I can tell you are not real serious and are just keeping her around for selfish reasons. Not to mention you are hurting her by doing so. I would end it find someone around the same age as yourself and be happy! Otherwise you could end up making a huge mistake and also wasting a lot of time when the perfect woman could be looking your way!

Answer 7

You have all great questions. The biggest one is abotu having kids. Are you going to want to have some one day thats the only thing you need to think about.
The rest As logn as you love her and you are happen, Age does not matter. I believe this relationship has a vey long future of happeness and bliss. There is a reason why you have been with her for 3 years right? because i believe you love her and y'all are happy. Guess what? Thats all that matters

Answer 8

Im 33 with a 48 yr girl.
I understand what you are saying mate.
I've already got family so its not an issue -but would be my main worry.
You can have kids up to an old age anyway.
Your relationship does have a future, enjoy while its good. You are lucky to be with someone you love so take it as it comes.
Who knows what may be around the corner.

Answer 9

You have to think about what's important to you. If you can't accept the fact that she can't bear your children and will look older than you than you need to move on. On the other hand you can always adopt children and if she looks good now she must take care of her self and will probably continue to do so. It depends on how much you value your relationship and accept it's limits. I am 21 and in a commited relationship with a 41 yr old man with a baby on the way. Sometimes when we go places people think he's my father but most people are smarted than that. The only place that really seems to think he's my father is the ER at our local hospital. When we go in there and I hand them my insurance cards they ask me if it is my father's insurance, I simply tell them no that it is my ins. through my work and I look at them funny. THey'll figure it out and be embarrassed at their ignorance in assuming he's my father.

Answer 10

This is tough. If you are that concerned about the age dfference now,you will be even more so as time goes on. It sounds like you have wieghed both sides carefully,I would say you need to break it off or just not get married. You have some really good questions about your future if you did get married. I wish you and her the sest of luck.