Do I Help My Ex-Boyfriend?

Question

Are you obligated to be there for your ex-boyfriend after he's been through a break up because your the only person he can open up to? and by the way he was also your first true love? is it better to avoid getting involved emotionally especially if your in a relationship? Please only serious answers. Thanks

Answer 1

If your current relationship is important to you, being friends with an ex, while you are involved is asking for trouble. You can tell your ex that you would like to be there for him, but since you are seeing someone else, it is unfair to your relationship to be palling around with him. Remind him that you didn't engage in such outside relationships when you were with him, so why should he expect you to do this to someone else?

And be done with it. Tell him you will holler at him when you aren't involved.

Answer 2

No, I would not say that you are obligated to be there for him, unless the two of you have had close ties as friends since your break-up. I guess even then, you are not obligated to because it is your choice whether you want to be there or not.
If the two of you remained close, he can open up to you and rely on you to help him deal with his pain, and you feel comfortable with it, then by all means be there for him. Make sure you put up strict boundaries and that he knows they are in place. Also, explain to your current boyfriend what is going on, and that he has nothing to worry about. You do not want helping an ex-boyfriend to get in the way of a current relationship that is good.
There is nothing wrong with being a good, loving and caring person, and being there for people when they need you. Just make sure you are comfortable, that the limits are set and adhered to, and if they are attempted to be crossed, that you back away explaining that you cannot risk what you have now.

peace and luck

Answer 3

I think that if you are in a relationship now and he is your ex, you have no obligation whatsoever to be there for him. If he understands and respects your current relationship and that you are only there as a friend, then by all means be there for him. Also, you have to be considerate of your present boyfriend's feelings because you don't want to be helping out one person and lose the next person.

Answer 4

You are not obligated by no means. But, If you lend an ear now, down the road it will be beneficial whether you think so or not. Being able to completely open up with someone is even harder when you are going through turmoil. It's also a respect issue.

Answer 5

You should definitely stay clear of your ex-br being that you are in a relationship if you are serious about the guy you're with. It's okay to want to help but you have your own relationship to worry about therefore you can't be there for dude like that anymore. He has to learn to stand on his own two feet he can't always think you will be there to pick up the pieces. Not for nothing you really don't have to do anything because he's not your man anymore. Just focus on you and yours and let him handle his own relationship problems. Let him man up and deal on his own!

Answer 6

The fact that you call him your first true love says it all. You can't remain emotionally unattached when it comes to someone you once loved (or still love). He's in a vulnerable position right now and we all know what puppies men can be when they're hurt. Ask yourself this, does he mean enough to you to risk the person who's in your life now? People coming together when they're hurting is like candy to kids. You can't resist. You have to maintain some distance.

Answer 7

1st of all u have no obligation to anyone but urself and ur kids if u have any.. he's an ex and nothing more.. he needs to find himself a new friend to open up to.. what r u the shoulder to lean on now.. i'd pass.. let him know that because of the feelings u had for him and because ur no longer in a relationship w/him, let him know that u r not comfortable w/him coming to u to be the shoulder to lean on.. let him know that u don't want to be that part of his life and that u don't want to know his business and that u moved on w/ur life and that him wanting to voluteer his personal business is only gonna make u uncomfortable..

tell him sorry u couldn't be there for him and hang up and move on...

Answer 8

If you are currently in a relationship, you should ask your partner if he is okay with you helping your ex-boyfriend. You don't want him to think you are being dishonest. If your partner feels comfortable with it, then try to help your ex-boyfriend. Let him talk to you and get it all out. It's hard for many guys to talk about their feelings, so if he can talk to you, that is a good thing. Reassure your partner that you are just a sounding board for your ex and that there are no intimate feelings on your part. Good luck!

Answer 9

Your not obligated, but if you consider yourself his friend then you got do what you gotta do...and become a better person because of it...good luck...its not an easy thing to do but their might be a reason or result that benefits you for being so understanding.

Answer 10

I can very well understand your delicate situation! To help a Friend in need is always a good deed in itself.
Helping a Friend needn't mean you have to involve yourself in his problem, let alone getting emotional.
Try to put yourself in your 'ex' place and ask yourself , "Would I want someone whom I really trust to help me?" "How would I feel, towards this person, after he/she had given me the helping hand without asking nothing in return?"
I'm sure the answer your'e looking for, comes to you automatically.