There is a guy who i work with who i have slept with last yr. Hes 6 yrs older than me and not out at all, not to his parents or anything. NOw a couple of weeks ago we said we would give it a go but the same night he got drunk and kept sayin he loved me and wants to be with me. Now im new to the whole relationship thing(am 21) and dont know what to do.
Now He keeps askin me out but im putting him off and i feel awful, hes a lovely guy but i dont think hes the one for me. how do i let him down with out braking his heart
thanks guys
L x
2006-08-16 02:32:53 · 13 answers · asked by uclanstudent06 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
you can be honest with him, tell him that you like him and you think he is a lovely attractive guy but there is something inside you that is scared and not sure. see what he says. but make sure to wrap things up by telling him that he will always be your friend and tell him that things can change anytime.
2006-08-16 04:29:37 · answer #1 · answered by patric 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not an expert on gay/lesbian relationships but I do know a thing or two about love. It sounds to me like this guy scared you off. The things he said are most likely true because the truth does come out when you're drunk. But if you just evaluate what inside of you is scaring you away from this guy, who you originally thought was great, you might prevent yourself from losing out on something in the future. You should sit down with him and tell him honestly that what he said intimidated you and you're not sure if you're ready for something like that. But you should give him a try, be it a casual one. His age should not be a deterrent for you but the fact that he's not out should. After all, how serious a relationship can you have if he can't be honest with those closest to him about who he really is. It makes you wonder if he knows who he really is. Good luck and much happiness.
2006-08-16 02:59:10 · answer #2 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if you do decide to go out with him you need to be VERY, VERY clear that this is NOT an exclusive relationship. However, if you really don't want to go out or be involved with him then there is no easy way to just tell him no. You're going to have to be upfront with him and of course this is hard to do! But hem-hawing around will make things worse in the end. Good luck!
2006-08-16 02:42:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you scared to have a relationship with him because you have not done it before? I know how you feel.
However, althought he was drunk he was probably telling the truth and he probably does like you because people say things they mean when they are drunk.
You could alway try having a sorta test relationship with him just sit down with him and talk about trying it for a month.
Worth a try.
(It's rare to find "the one" and people have relationships with many people before they do so).
2006-08-16 02:37:27 · answer #4 · answered by djw008 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Write him a email saying what you want and need to say to him.
Without facing you and know what is your intension will give him a cooling period when he read the email alone by himself. He will most likely accept this in a better way. Maybe you guys still can move on as a friend.
2006-08-16 02:41:20 · answer #5 · answered by Trouble 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him straight.. no sense in eating yourself up, or him. Longer you leave it the harder it will be. Best to let him down now as say in six months time.... He is only 27 he will get over it and you.
2006-08-16 07:14:37 · answer #6 · answered by lordcomplexity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could *try* going out with him - as you said, you're new to this, and you're only 21, it's not very likely you'll find "the one" just yet. if you don't want to, you'll have to just tell him, as gently as humanly possible, that you're not interested. say it isn't the right timing for you.
2006-08-16 04:50:19 · answer #7 · answered by kittens 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
List why he's not the one for you and then tell him. Painful, maybe, but the truth works.
2006-08-16 02:38:50 · answer #8 · answered by buldawg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth
2006-08-16 18:47:52 · answer #9 · answered by halloweenpumpkinuk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you dont feel you would be compatable, and tell him gently. thats arl you can do, honesty is the best policy.
2006-08-16 07:29:42 · answer #10 · answered by swot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋