Ok this is week number 2 of my H and I being apart. 2 weeks ago he took my kids from thier sitters house and put them in his vehicle and called me to say if I want them, I will have to come to (another State) to get them and then told them that they would never see me again. This was over $500, that I transferred from his account to mine in order to pay bills. I do this transfer EVERY 2 weeks, I have for the last 9 years! But I guess this time I left his account with nothing in it and he snapped. H has cheated on me b4 and I think that he was doing something again. I do have an order of protection against him right now and the divorce papers are being served to him any day now. My question is how do I tell my 7 year old and 3 year old about what has happened?
2006-08-16 02:30:15 · 14 answers · asked by Jill H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Moms can never think of without loving their kids. So as you love your kids. Be true to them and let them understand if you see your H is cheating you anyway and you are on way to defend your critical situation.
Sometimes you don't need to describe in detail everything. But you can at least give them a touch of the situation which are happening surrounding them - where they might need to be aware of even for their own security according to their own little sense of humore. You don't know! How even a 3 years old kid might can give you a funny new idea to resolve your personal issues. It's not magic but it's the truth of the pathetic reality.
Hope i tried to help you and will be glad to know if really that helps you..
2006-08-16 03:16:24 · answer #1 · answered by Munaz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need A. A good lawyer, if you don't have one already and B. A good counselor for your kids and you. The counselor will help you know what should be told and not told at all stages of the game. I would also recommend both you and your soon to be ex seek some kind of counseling/mediation/parenting program for divorced parents. The kids should not be in the middle. BTW, what he did was kidnapping if he took the kids across state lines without your consent. Please talk with an attorney about this issue, he needs to know that if he does it again you will contact authorities, but have that comefrom your lawyer to his, not you to him.
2006-08-16 09:45:52 · answer #2 · answered by Michelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going through something similar, mine got ugly too, sorry for you and your kids. Tel them just what they NEED to know. I had to tell mine a little more than I wanted to but was backed into a corner and couldn't let them believe what he was saying. The less they know about the details of the ugly stuff the better they will be. Let them be kids as much as you can without having to be thrown into adult bs. Tell them you love them all the time and everyone will be ok.
2006-08-16 09:38:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be very careful about what you tell them about their dad. They still love him and want to spend time with him. You bashing him in front of the kids will make them angry at you. All you say is that mommy and daddy arent getting along very well and we are getting a divorce. We will both be happier people and be better parents to you. its not your fault, its ours. We still love you etc etc.
Keep the kids out of the battle if possible.
2006-08-16 09:38:22 · answer #4 · answered by yournotalone 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them that Mommy and Daddy decided that they cant live together anymore. Dont bad mouth there daddy or anything like that. Try for them to make everything seem kind of like its going to be ok i a way. (divorce is hard enough on kids the way it is)
2006-08-20 08:09:04 · answer #5 · answered by addybme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like this could get out of hand, call the authority's now, he has kidnapped your children! you have a order of protection and he does this. he will go to jail, if he takes them across state lines call the FBI. Good luck
2006-08-16 09:40:09 · answer #6 · answered by edgarrrw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit them down and tell them that mommy and daddy can't live together anymore and it's better this way. Make sure they know they have nothing to do with it. Then when they get older you can explain in more detail in what was going on.
2006-08-16 09:42:59 · answer #7 · answered by Xena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not involve your kids in all of the details. All they need to know is that mom and dad don't love each other anymore and won't be living together. Mom and dad will always love you kids.
Let the kids remain impartial, and don't try to poison them against their dad.
2006-08-16 09:38:46 · answer #8 · answered by loshea65 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should really talk to your county in regards to what he did. That's considered kidnapping in NJ when both parents have custody. If I were you, I'd go to your family court division, request a trial for custody and go to court. The judge tell him he can't do that again.
Otherwise, hope for the best!!
2006-08-16 09:46:00 · answer #9 · answered by ControVerse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say you may need to talk ot a councelor to ask what is the best way, children experience pain sooo deeply when a parent is seperated and can cause alll sort of mental aguish that can last into adulthood, so i say consult a professional
2006-08-16 09:41:20 · answer #10 · answered by jaladelanta 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋