I was married for 17 years before and now after 8 months we argue like people that have been togehter 15 years,,not drag out fights or anything just tense all the time...
anyone that is there please lets chat man./woman
it helps me to try to understand..
2006-08-15 23:17:54 · 17 answers · asked by candiesman05 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would have to guess it's a lack of trust resulting in difficulty of giving oneself 100% to the other person (on the part of both parties). That said, second marriages can work if both parties can put the other first (mutual selflessness would solve all the world's problems). I married someone who was married twice (the second time was a marriage from hell) and while there were definitely trust issues to overcome, we've developed a beautiful and deep marriage relationship that some first-timers don't have. I guess what I'm trying to say is hang in there and keep working on it! The hard work put into it will be more than worth it!
2006-08-16 00:30:32 · answer #1 · answered by KDdid 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My 2 cents worth from a 51-year old guy, never married.
The problems probably stem from a bit of mistrust because of the failure of the first marriage, coupled with the thought in the back of the mind - I've been through a divorce before, if this gets too bad, I know better the pitfalls of getting out.
The only help I could offer is to think back as to what it was that first attracted you to your current spouse, and to try to work some of what that appeal was back into the relationship.
I hope things work out for the best.
2006-08-15 23:26:45 · answer #2 · answered by Carl S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People get married for all the wrong reasons, its not that they want someone to stay but they dont want them to leave, and see marriage as a way to hold onto them, once they have achieved that, they are left with something they didnt want in the first place. Its like when someone dumps you, its not that they mean so much to you, its that you dont like the feeling of being dumped so you try to get them back to take away the pain and then be in a position where you are doing the dumping and therefore feel no pain.
2006-08-15 23:25:39 · answer #3 · answered by ByeBuyamericanPi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually because of baggage from the first marriage. just try not to bring the old negativity into your new relationship. Also try to be honest with each other if something upsets you and work it out there and then. Don't hold any grudges or hold back. It's all about clear communication and being sincere. Never hold back from the one you love. Good luck.
2006-08-15 23:53:27 · answer #4 · answered by D baby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Second marriages are hard because of the doubts and insecurities created by the break up of the first marriage. Then of course there is usually the combined family thing. Stepkids are alot of pressure no matter how well you get along with them. Each of you is always going to feel like you need to protect your own child from your partner. You know, keep your kids life as much "like it used to be" as you possibly can.
2006-08-15 23:23:55 · answer #5 · answered by rwdycwgrl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
More often than not, they end up in what is called a 're-bound relationship' and while they can work, they often don't. It's important to give yourself time after a divorce or death of a spouse before engaging in another relationship or jumping into another marriage. It's important to come to terms with why the first relationship didn't work out. In both cases, the death of a spouse or the divorce, it's important to give yourself time to grieve.
If and when you are ready to find love again, talk to your potential spouse about the idea of a long engagement. If you take the time to understand the mistakes of the previous marriage and to mourn the loss of the spouse, it can help you to avoid repeating past mistakes or comparing your new relationship to the old one.
When you marry someone and it's their second marriage, develop a greater sense of compassion for what they have gone through. Understand they may have emotional baggage and help both of you by working it out beforehand. It will be hard for both of you to commit to the marriage if you've not allowed your partner to commit to their emotional divorce.
If the shadows of the previous marriage are affecting your current relationship, it may be time to talk to a marriage counselor. They can help you both to sort out past feelings and to build a stronger marriage together.
2006-08-15 23:22:30 · answer #6 · answered by Love or hate? 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
you're good you have been violated and on the hand you will desire to comprehend that his daughter would have positioned him to try this . Daughters will do unusual issues whilst they comprehend that their father has been taken with the aid of another women persons . An that consists of taking the mattress which you the two share jointly . It a complicated call notwithstanding it appears like your husband is amazingly lenient to wards his daughter and his terrified of loosing her . you will desire to strategies-set your husband very calmly and clarify or write down on a peace paper and clarify your thoughts .
2016-10-02 03:51:55 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is because youare so used to the person you were with. It's hard to move on. You will always have a place in your heart for the other and it is really hard to open your heart up again to let the new person in.
2006-08-15 23:23:01 · answer #8 · answered by Kristie P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are comparing that person to your first partner or were expecting this marraige to be different which it's not. Marriage takes work and a lot of sacrifice things people don't have anymore.
2006-08-15 23:21:47 · answer #9 · answered by sg1alias 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
give her candy .. see what make her annoyed!
i am a man also .. and believe me , Man should stand lots of things to make life go on!
one mint of love is better than one hour of arguing .. so simply be much more more kind with her .. and dont make her afraid of you !
cause when woman feel scared from a man , you never know what she can do !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-15 23:25:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋