We argued about an appointment we had with other people. We would be late and I told him to finish as soon as he could what he was doing (gardening) because they were expecting us (he already knew that) and he got upset and shouted at me (probably he was tired). I felt unconfortable and I got both sad and angry. A little later, when he was dressing up, I told him that he should be more careful with his manners. I received a second yell and insisted that he takes care of most things in the house, which is not true. We are nearly 1 year married f.y.i...
2006-08-15 22:31:08 · 6 answers · asked by Circus 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why are you arguing? When he yelled he sort of told you he was upset with something. So you get mad and he gets mad. EXCUSE me but you are married. You should be seeing why he is upset and he should be telling you. The yell was most likely not at you but had to do with other things. Everyone gets mad at times and the first one to get hit with this anger is the one you love because you need someone to take the venting. Both of you need to see this and talk it out. Quarrels aren't always what you think they are. Other stuff is causing it. Find out and talk and listen to each side. Do get pissed just try to understand each side of it. Your marriage will grow stronger.
;0)
2006-08-15 23:34:25 · answer #1 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have to be right? Are you going to win the Nobel Peace Prize by being right? In any relationship there is compromise and you pick and choose your battles. You know what sets him off. He might feel like you are treating him as a child. A little later you could ask him why he got so upset when you reminded him of the appointment. Other things could be going on that you don't even know about. He might have some stress from work. If you want to avoid a second quarel, don't feel that you have to be right.
2006-08-16 06:04:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a marriage you pick your battles and honestly this doesn't sound like that big a deal. You took a lot of vows but I'm pretty sure one of them wasn't that you promised never to have a bad day. The other thing to figure out is whether you want to be happy or right. Sometimes the two are incompatible. Save the stand for your belief and 'rightness' for something a little bigger than this.
2006-08-16 05:58:50 · answer #3 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like first your talking to him as if he was a child, you said you TOLD HIM to finish as soon as he could, You TOLD HIM he should be more careful with his manners, it would have been easier to just suggest an hour before the event that you were going to start getting ready for the event and i'm sure he would have started shortly after.
By the way you only been married one year, didn't you notice this behavior before?
Keep naggin and eventually the other side of the fence looks more appealing
2006-08-16 06:33:18 · answer #4 · answered by dwade1965 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first, he needs to stop yelling as this doesn't help the matter and will only end up making you angrier. Two, he sounds like he doesn't like being told what to do because he supposedly "knows" it already. Third, you have to learn to agree to disagree. Since you're just 1yr into the marriage, you're probably still adjusting to each other and need to develop more constructive ways of communicating to each other your differences. You won't always agree on everything but does it always have to end this way?
2006-08-16 05:42:23 · answer #5 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I have found is, you shouldnt....Try to find some common ground, the answer is somewhere (usually imbetween). Dont let things fester, it just leads to more quarrels.
2006-08-16 06:38:54 · answer #6 · answered by zeakster01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋