I've been married since two years and four months. I don't've any kid yet. I've been diagnosed with primary infertility. My doctor is hopeful. But the people around me asked me again and again why i'm not expecting yet? Its really hurting.Is this my fault?I'm started avoiding people. What can I do? I can't express my feelings.
2006-08-15 22:18:26 · 6 answers · asked by ash 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
It's not your fault. These people are rude to be asking such questions even if they mean well. It's none of their business.
If you want kids then I hope your doctor can help you. If after medical intervention, you still can't have children, consider an alternative.
My wife could not have kids. However she became an RN and a nurse practictioner. She became the head nurse on the children's ward of a big name hospital. I am her third husband. She really wanted children and regrets not having any. I tell her that every child she nursed and helped save was her child. If she had had her own children, she would not have had the time to spare and she would have never made the difference in hundreds of children's lifes.
It may not be as good as having your own children but it's still a lot more worthwhile thing to do with your life than many people do with their life.
Good Luck!
2006-08-15 22:37:23 · answer #1 · answered by Spiritual but not religious 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course this is not your fault and you have nothing to feel ashamed for! You have done nothing wrong. When someone ask you from now on why you are not expecting, then politely say to them that this is a subject that you would rather not talk about and leave it at that. If they want to know why you said that to them then, tell that you would rather not discuss your personal life when it comes to rather when you will or will not have children. Be nice, smile and change the subject. Don't give up on a child so soon either. If you are not able to have children of your own then, thier are other ways that you and your Husband can have children. This is through adoption,and also, other way which your Doctor can tell you more about. In the meantimes you have a positive attitude and you have plenty of love to give to a child that may not other wise get loved at all if you decide adoption. You will learn to love this child as your own and you will ask yourself why did i wait so long.
2006-08-15 22:40:26 · answer #2 · answered by SecretUser 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it isn't your fault; you have nothing to be ashamed of. I think the people pressuring you and asking questions are being intrusive ( even if it is your parents!)
I suggest you work up a list of funny answers that are not actually insulting, like:
"when i am, you'll be the second to know."
"I'm waiting till we will the lottery."
Just laugh at the question and change the subject, or walk off.
to people who are really annoying you, who won't quit asking, but you really do not want to discuss this with, possible responses are:
"Why ever would you ask something like that?"
"i didn't answer you the last time you asked, and I'm not answering now."
"i consider that question very personal. "
"You are way too interested in my sex life."
Personally, i would be willing to go so far as to look someone right in the eye and say " it hurts me when people ask me that. It is a personal matter. If there is a time when it IS your business, i will certainly let you know."
But, i get irritated easily.
My mother was really, really, really bad about this. I got so upset that one time i said, "we won't be having children until you quit nagging me about it."
It was the last time she asked or nagged or even brought the subject up.
It would be good if you could express your feelings to some sort of counselor or therapist - someone who would understand your frustration and pain.
2006-08-15 22:38:53 · answer #3 · answered by nickipettis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold your head up high its not how many kids you can have that counts. And just two years in a marriage enjoy each other. company
2006-08-16 12:34:10 · answer #4 · answered by winterbaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold your head up dear. If it is meant to be then it will be. Tell people that, and hopefully they will leave you alone.
2006-08-15 22:24:40 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your feelings. I feel people can be harsh to me sometimes as well. Try discussing your feelings with other people and tell them to please treat you better. Be brave!
P.S *sigh* I kind of feel lonely now.
2006-08-15 22:25:37 · answer #6 · answered by Alex S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋