My best friend (also person I love more than life itself), who is three years older than me (I am 18) admitted he was gay, I acted like an evil homophoic hypocritical idiot... That is what happens with homophobia my parents taught me, and a couple bitter years hiding in the closet... Do you think it is possible he will forgive me? Know any way for me to ask his forgiveness?
:'-(
2006-08-15 22:14:08 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Honey,
Number one -- he trusted you -- you hurt him more than you probably understand. I think you already get that though.
Number two -- go to him in private, immediately, apologize, profusely. Tell him what you told us. Tell him your parents are homophobes and that you know you are gay too and have been hiding from it, bitterly, for years. Tell him you also know and knew you are in love with him -- and when he told you he was gay, it just threw you into panic. Say you are sorry, ask him to please forgive you. If you are emotional, let yourself cry -- it will help him realize that you aren't just leading him on so you can make even crueler fun of him like some people will do. If he will let you, hold him, and tell him you are scared to hold him -- cause you will be. But DON'T let your parents homophobia rule you -- DON'T be hateful of yourself. Every negative feeling you get -- and they will come as you let yourself deal with this -- examine in your mind FULLY and discard.
If it will help, show him your post here, and the answers, including this one, that you got.
If you need someone to talk to -- email me. I would be glad to listen and try to help -- that goes for him too.
Good luck, its going to be fine and if it turns into something else -- you ready to have someone love you for a long long long time -- you never know.
Regards,
Reynolds
http://www.rebuff.org
believeinyou24@yahoo.com
2006-08-16 04:15:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, sweetie.
Yes, I do think he'll eventually forgive you, but it may take time. You need to go to him, and lay it all out on the table. Tell him you are so sorry for what you said, and tell him why you said it. Explain that you reacted based on years of homophobia instilled in you by your parents, and the fear of being out yourself.
Honesty is always the best policy. Go to him, it's better if you do this in person. He gave you a precious gift, and he must feel as if you ripped it apart. Let him know how you feel and why.
Best of luck.
2006-08-16 05:51:52 · answer #2 · answered by Autumn BrighTree 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As someone who came out to my best friend of nearly twenty years and was treated terribly and dumped, I'll answer this one: I would contact your friend, if at all possible by telephone (and not e-mail) and I would have an open discussion with him. Don't expect the friendship to heal right away or even to get back to where it once was. And give your friend time to get used to you again. And openly apologize. Do not hold back. My best friend was not gay but I expected better of her. I know how your friend must have felt. When this happend to me it was one of the most most horrible experiences I have ever had in my life. I really thought to myself, "Who have I been confiding in all of these years?"
2006-08-15 22:27:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not evil sweetie. Sometimes shock causes us to act in ways we normally wouldn't. Let me tell you something. My best friend of 16 yrs dropped me like a hot potato when she found out I was with a woman. A 16 yr friendship gone to hell because she was worried what others were going to think! You go make up with your friend and you tell him how much having him in your life means to you. If you're as close at it sounds he'll forgive you. Good luck, hun!!!
2006-08-16 07:29:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you've done a lot in admitting that you reacted wrongly. I think he can probably forgive you. Any time I have come out to straight family or friends, I expected a negative response. Still, I would have liked it if they came back and said they still valued me as a friend.
2006-08-15 22:21:32 · answer #5 · answered by San Diego Art Nut 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him You love him .He no doubt could do with the reassurance,be as brave as Him.He must have been waiting a long time(years?) to reveal his true self/admit it.He probably knows Your gay,seems logical to me.Does he love You though in that way? Perhaps he just wants the openess.So he can talk freely about 'girls 'stuff/men You fancy ?
2006-08-15 22:37:31 · answer #6 · answered by JULIA E 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"although" nicely positioned. I consider maximum of what you stated, and that i'm a Christian, on no account a KKK. We try this judging of others in communities greater beneficial than in basic terms in faith. All Italians are in prepared crime or Mafia, all Hispanics are unlawful, all this or that. One evil individual, one corrupt individual does not a race, a team or a faith make that merchandise incorrect. We as a human beings worry the unknown. What we study or pay attention of many violent acts of extremist reason worry in many for they do no longer know the version. Muslim are sturdy human beings. Many are excitable, yet that too is authentic in communities the place there is fake effect. If i assumed all male Christians have been KKK, i does not become responsive to myself with them, i might stay a "Christian" for each and all of the excuses i'm now, yet might say i replaced right into a Christ followers or some thing, no longer Christian/KKK. Now, one section i might like which you will re-evaluate. Deuteronomy is a e book used to examine some order to a civilized human beings, those are the human beings of God, the Israelite. God is coaching them many stuff, with regulations and such, how he expects them to stay. a style of issues replaced into purity of the race. yet another that he's to be the only God earlier them. 2 issues right here to think approximately--in case you date/marry somebody different than between the human beings, you have mixed blood and opportunities are high diverse gods. So God frowned upon that interior the era of the old testomony You took the 12th verve out of context. He had already given a fashion out--via the form of witnesses so loss of life did no longer could come. yet while it gets so undesirable, the guy refuses to stick to even the priest and make certain and ultimate himself, he's to be stoned. although, now it rather is a necessary factor--in basic terms him, no longer others of different tribes or ideals. The extremist of the Muslims seek advice from infidels--all infidels--hence non-believer of Allah and that they are to be killed. God did no longer say that throughout the time of Deuteronomy--what he did say is one in the Israelite who fails to stick to the regulations is to be stoned. at the same time as i do no longer consider the religion of Islam, I pray continually to your remarkable of perception, with freedom to workout that remarkable. God Bless
2016-09-29 08:01:14 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him your sorry, do your best to win his friendship back and when things are almost back to normal, say, "eeeuuuu, your gay?" and start laughing hysterically.....run around like crazy and never talk to him again. That works all the time.
2006-08-15 22:59:29 · answer #8 · answered by nightcricket 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are best friends, apologize to him ASAP. He will understand. Tell him exactly what you have down here. He may still be mad for a little bit, but he is a friend and will understand
2006-08-16 04:29:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him youre sorry, tell him why you are sorry, and then give him time to forgive you.
my first girfriend had a str8 best friend who was shocked at first, but they soon became brilliant and stronger mates again.
time heals etc
peace n love swot xxxxx
2006-08-16 07:54:58 · answer #10 · answered by swot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋