why do i have to feel that way?

Question

everytime i speat to my manager i get furious....feel awful....i can't stand him..advise me what should i do?

Answer 1

go to therapy

Answer 2

if you get furious EVERY time you talk to him, it seems to me that there are 2 likely reasons--

he is insulting/demeaning/disrespecting you, but in subtle ways you can't really point to
OR
he reminds you a LOT of someone else that you have big time issues with.

You need an independent observer.

How about talking to someone you trust at work, tell them you don't know why you get furious, ask that person to observe an interaction between you and your boss, and then get feedback from the person. You can use that info to help you decide if you should change jobs, change your attitude, learn some different coping skills, etc.

good luck.

Answer 3

try to focus on how you feel without blaming him - for example you might say "when you say my work is not up to scratch, I feel very disheartened, could you also tell me what I am doing right?"

Do you have a problem accepting authority? if so all I can say is that there is always someone in charge - you cant always expect to get on well with them so you need a strategy to help you to "manage upwards". One idea some people find helpful is to plant ideas which the manager then adopts as their, but dont try to own the idea - once you have planted it let it flower and be glad it helped you to win the manager's respect.

Answer 4

I know the feeling. But I think it's different for men. We have a way of dealing with such things. I have seen women I work with have a very difficult time with male managers. If it's a personality conflict there's not much you can do. If he is harassing you, you can always bring in the authorities. The best thing you can do is do your job as best you can do. If that doesn't please him, again, bring in the authorities.

Answer 5

You "speat" to him? Furthermore..."feeling awful and can't stand him" is not enough information for anyone to form an opinion.
Maybe when you can complete a whole sentence....you can try again later.

Answer 6

This is basically because of anxiety. You may be anxious because of your performance. You wnat to show your best performance infront of you manager. You may have irrational beliefs like "I must perform best infront of my manager if this is not happened it must awful for me"? "If I show bad performance this is the end of the world"? We generally expect a lot from ourselves. When we've fear that circumstances may not be like your expectation you started feeling anxious. What can you do? You can identify your irrational beliefs by writng them and argued them. If i performed bad or something else like if my manager told me that he does not like my work, its OK for me. This is not the end of the world. I can move on. I'm not going to generalize his views.

Answer 7

A Complex

Answer 8

Try count 1 to 10 or concentrate on breathing in-out. You may want to change jobs if you still cannot stand him.

Answer 9

Do you give him reason to be talking to you? Do you find that he is picking on you for no reason, or race ,or discrimination of some sort? If you feel like he is that big of a problem you may want to look into a new place to work.

Answer 10

Talk to him and maybe you'll feel better after you have sorted the problem out... but first you've got to find the courage to face him... that's easy just think that you won't get angry anymore if you take this step. I trust you will find the power to do this.

Answer 11

Maybe try to get your mind off work a bit. Get involved in a good hobby -- or better yet volunteer your time at a local charity.