I'm 23 and I don't yet have a career, I'm still planning on going to school to gain training to become involved in the feild that I want to have a career in. My bf is 30 and already has a career. I said yes because a part of me wanted to and I was also in complete shock that he was down on one knee. I think I made the wrong choice by saying yes but how do I know. How can I talk to him without completley breaking his heart? I've always wanted to have a career first, then marriage, then kids.
2006-08-15 21:38:49 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
to me u sound a typical carear girl who never wants to live a life,people like u think life is nothing without a masive paid job.u will probebly finnish with him and get the job you want then end up being single and live a life of work,and probebly wont stop intell u drop.your a bit young to be married you should go out every week and be a casual gal and get lads like me every week who want the same thing,a quick sha g and a pi ss up,then move on to some1 else.
2006-08-15 21:45:25 · answer #1 · answered by stoke 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't tell him the truth without breaking his heart, because he already is so dead set on marrying you. the only problem here is the age difference. He's so much farther in life (career wise and educationally) that you still need time to catch up. You have to see where he is coming from. It's too soon for you and getting late for him. If he waits for you to get a career, then get married, then have kids... he'll be prob. 40 by the time kids are conceived. So do him a favor and say no. Just explain to him that you guys are in a different state of mind and now is not the right time.
2006-08-16 04:45:55 · answer #2 · answered by bunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well just cause you get married doesn't mean you can't still live out your dreams too. Maybe you two would need to compromise. Since you didn't list what you want your career to be hard to say having kids would impact it. For example if you want to be a teacher that would be great because you would be off when the kids are.
Gotta sit down with your man and discuss the future, just maybe your future is becoming a loving wife and a great mom
2006-08-16 09:27:41 · answer #3 · answered by opyankees_06 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What i feel(since im the same age as u)is ur scared u feel what if tomorrow u dont have career ur not independent what then?that bothers u so ur not sure ur scared so i suggest u thinking would ur fiancee let u pursue a career independently after u get married or did he propose since he wants a housewife(yes there are men who want their wives to be working/careerwoman)So only if hell let u have a career since u need to be independently career person u cant rely on ur husband or anyone else for that basic thing then consider marriage if not would u want to be a housewife all ur life raising kids looking after home?consider this then get married just dont break up ur engagement being scared since tomorrow ull regret it
2006-08-16 04:46:27 · answer #4 · answered by docfreudianslip 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't really take seriously anything any of us here say. You should talk to people you trust and know you both together and mostly think of how you'll feel if you lose him - there is that possibility you know, if you turn him down. Why don't you try getting engaged and plan the wedding after some years, when you finish studying?
2006-08-16 04:43:52 · answer #5 · answered by Lalaith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
like!!!
IF it wasin public that he got down on his knees, you did the right thing.
Anyways, do you, or do you not want to marry him ( At some point in life)?
If yes,You should be having this discussion with him, not with us at YahooAnswers. Tell him, that you want to get a career before you get married, so if he is really interested, he has to wait 4 years, (OR will it take 10 years?). You'll have to bargain, but hey, do post his answer. Or atleast tell us what happened.
2006-08-16 04:48:10 · answer #6 · answered by shrek 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to that inner voice! Be honest weith him! What does he want in amarrige is he ok with the career ting? Why do you have to get married now,cant it wait? If your having doudts, you really need more time. Dont be caught up in the moment!
2006-08-16 04:45:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being engaged means you're committing to get married someday. If this guy is truly worth it, he will support your decisions.
I've been engaged for 4 years. We will eventually get married, we're content being just as we are... WILLINGLY COMMITTED. We are building a life together.
If you feel this guy has what you're working for, that could be your inspiration. Don't let it intimidate you.
Tell him what your plans are. If he doesn't want to support you, then break up with him.
2006-08-16 05:02:16 · answer #8 · answered by OldyMe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him how you feel. if he loves you so, he will wait for you until you graduate and have a career, if not, he does not love you enough.
You would hurt him more by marrying him and then the marriage will break up because it was not what you wanted.
2006-08-16 04:44:45 · answer #9 · answered by trushka 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even if you're engaged, there's no rush to have the wedding. Have a long engagement. Explain to your man that it's important to you to work on your career. If you're not ready yet, you're not ready yet. You need to tell him.
2006-08-16 04:42:40 · answer #10 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋