My boyfriend is very helpfull. I said to him at the begining of the relationship: I can't be your lover, mother and wife in one. If you want to have a lover, than you will help me in household. If you want to have a mother we will not be sexual intimate if I will feel tired because of the work at job and at home. We are together for 4 years, everything is great, but sometimes I feel guilty. I don't know why. I'm coming from traditional family where my mother and father had different roles in the house. They are both chritical to me and my acting toward boyfriend.
2006-08-15 20:55:31 · 19 answers · asked by nelli 4 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
My boyfriend doesn't complain. We do similar jobs (we also finish job at the same time), but he was the same when I was unemplyed.
2006-08-15 21:10:42 · update #1
We don't believe in marriage. I don't like marriage-he has the same opinion.
2006-08-15 21:13:31 · update #2
definitly not, if i lived with someone who i loved i would most likely help out around the house and expect my girl friend/wife to not feel guilty. i would do it because i wanted to.
2006-08-15 21:02:17 · answer #1 · answered by meow 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do you both have similar job committments, earn similar wages? If he's working 65 hours a week as an attorney, and you work the lunch shift at the Cafe, then you might have reason to feel guilty.
But if you both work similar hours, then you have what you should have: a functional relationship.
Does he complain about the house cleanliness, or that you don't cook enough? Men are usually direct about these things, so if you hear nothing, y'all are just fine.
2006-08-15 21:03:38 · answer #2 · answered by Polymath 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you only feel guilty because you told him to do it or else he wouldn't be getting any affection. That was wrong. You should have a new discussion about your roles, equal amounts of housework, etc and this time, don't hold sex over his head. Its not a bargaining chip, its a sign of love and intimacy.
2006-08-16 04:41:57 · answer #3 · answered by wildlotuspetal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're lucky. If he's doing half the work in the house, then he is doing his share.
Just so long as you are also pulling your weight (and it sounds like you are) you have nothing to feel guilty about.
2006-08-16 01:54:24 · answer #4 · answered by mikayla_starstuff 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOVE IS A BIG PACKAGE AND IT ENTAILS MEN AND WOMEN TO BE A LOVER, MOTHER OR FATHER OR A SPOUSE---THIS IS THE RESPONSIBILITY OF BEING WITH SOMEONE. IF YOU DO FEEL GUILTY THEN YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE HIM TO DO ALL THOSE THINGS, BUT IF IT WORKS FOR YOU GUYS THEN I GUESS DON'T CHANGE ANYTHING.
2006-08-15 23:13:43 · answer #5 · answered by Work-N-Hrd-2-Mk-It 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel Guilty, he's got a good head on his shoulders and has his priorities set straight.
Just make sure you show him how thankful you are to have him and I'm sure he'll be happy.
As far as other people frowning on the situation, bah...let them frown while you two share smiles.
2006-08-15 21:13:36 · answer #6 · answered by David D 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
oh no! you should not feel guilty!
what you should be feeling is happy and lucky to have a bf like that!
most women in this world would envy you!
be proud of what youve got! never complain about it!
its good that his helping you out and stuff but dont take too much advantages of him too!
2006-08-15 21:04:35 · answer #7 · answered by yen12rs 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you've got the perfect boyfriend!!!
Don't listen to your parents, they're just old-fashioned and don't know s**t about modern relationships.
2006-08-15 23:33:12 · answer #8 · answered by lindavankerkhof 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't feel guilty feel blessed, it's what every woman dreams of, if he's happy to do it' let him get on with it.
2006-08-15 21:02:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nah..if you feel guilty your probably not doing as much as he is...maybe not though..hard to say.
2006-08-16 07:30:17 · answer #10 · answered by roy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋