2006-08-15 20:32:14 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would do the trial separation. This could make her see how much she does love you and want to make it work with you. If you dont give her this then she is likely to leave you. She needs a little space and time to think things over. Give this to her as it could make your marrage. Godd luck
2006-08-15 20:43:19 · answer #1 · answered by Pinkflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off there is no such thing as a trial separation. It is a separation. You need to talk to her and see what the heck she is thinking. You should also say if you do the trail separation that you are not going to sit in a corner waiting to see what happens. Tell you will see other people and date and if someone better is found to bad for her. See what she says to that.
Most people who bring up trial separation are the ones that have feelings for someone else and wants to see if it will work out. If it does not then she can fall back to you. That is what a trail separation is. Sounds like she wants to try on a different pair of shoes if you know what I mean.
2006-08-15 20:56:39 · answer #2 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she must have told you why she wants a trial separation! If not, ask her. True, it might mean that she is seeing someone else. Or it might mean that she thinks you're selfish, don't help with the children or housework, that you drink too much, etc. All these things can be worked out. It depends on how tired she is of your problems and how severe they are.
Learn to listen to what she is telling you. There's a problem - so bad, she doesn't want to live with you anymore. And address it.
2006-08-15 21:00:17 · answer #3 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how about asking her why she wants the separation...
perhaps she isn't happy or wants more freedom or is looking for something new... or she has found something new and wants to pursue it; a new guy, a new girl, a new interest...
communication is a good basis for finding out the problems and trying to sort them out...
if she is looking for something new, then perhaps you should make it work within your relationship...how about looking into wife swapping or swinging or dogging or bdsm or an open marriage or whatever she feels she needs...
failing that, give her her trial separation and see what happens... you might find that is the best way for your relationship to work - either as husband and wife or as "friends with benefits" or just as platonic friends... some time apart to reassess the situation and decide if it is worth saving or that it should be put down...
but the first step is communications... and you have to be willing to take the UNVARNISHED truth... full open discussion... no secrets... no hiding... some people are unwilling to face that, especially if they think they are going to find out some pretty nasty truths... and they can be devastating...
2006-08-15 21:01:46 · answer #4 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you can't make it work. If she wants a trial seperation the question you need answered from her is why? Why do you need a seperation? what is the reason you want to be away from me? what does she not want you to see while you seperated? Give it your all to keep her if you want to but REMEMBER SOME MARRIAGES JUST DONT WORK OUT! However after 16 years there must be an underlying reason as to her sudden change of heart. You really need to understnad what she is trying to achieve by moving out. Space is not the answer you want to hear!
2006-08-15 20:51:31 · answer #5 · answered by Noodle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to everyone as they sit there and put words in your wife's mouth about doing other guys or wanting a divorce for sure. Nobody knows her!!
I think you need to find the reasons why she wants this trial seperation first before you actually go ahead and do it. It'll give you space to reflect. It'll not only allow her to think about things, but also yourself. I'm not a big fan of "breaks" or "seperations" though. I've never seen them really to work out, and when they have "worked out" in a visible sense, there is baggage from things that happened during the break.
I worked with a girl that went on break with her boyfriend...in that time during their "Break" he got another girl pregnant during a one night stand. Well...she got back together with her boyfriend but now she's taking care of a baby that was never hers, but does it for the boy. I think that's a bad situation.
However every couple is different. I would really sit down and have a good talk with her first before seperating for a while, or if it's something workable, even suggest that you are willing to go to marriage counceling. Best of wishes.
2006-08-15 20:51:48 · answer #6 · answered by pizzagirl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A trial seperation is usually (but not always) the 1st step in leaving completly.
Has she found someone else? Lost interest in you? Or just needs a break?
I would be asking her to honestly lay exactly what she wants on the table and then deal with it from there.
2006-08-15 20:43:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
See if she will go for counselling during the separation. If not, she probably wants to split up. Try to get at the truth of what's behind this - maybe it's something that can be worked out. Good luck :-)
2006-08-15 20:53:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's a tough one, question is ? is she seeing some one else. women do not want trial separations for nothing and are your friends acting a little coy with you because you are the last to know.
She could be genuine a be under a little pressure have you done anything to upset her. buy her some flowers change your attitude towards her. take her out.
2006-08-15 20:39:13 · answer #9 · answered by internat y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What, the trial separation or your marriage? Buddy, if you have to ask us, I can see why she wants the separation. Seek professional counseling.
2006-08-15 20:34:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋