He is friends with his ex and has a habit of lying and omitting information when it comes to her. We have had our disagreements about the "friendship" and he always takes her side. Her and I had a blow about 6 months ago and she threatened to end there friendship and he became angry at me. (She told him he was scraping the bottom of the barrel by marrying me) So, I smoothed things out and they kept the friendship. He lies about when he sees her or talks to her and gets very angry if I complain about it, saying I don't trust him. In truth, it is both of them I do not trust. He has made comments in the past about how great she was in bed and frequently mentions the "lack" of things I do in the bedroom. I was treated for cervical cancer a year and a half ago and I still have pain... Am I paranoid or insecure as he likes to claim? By the way, they were together for 8 years and he is now 29 and she is 52. She also happens to live in the same apartment complex as us.
2006-08-15 19:24:32 · 16 answers · asked by Missy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He has a fixation about her being a mother figure, that being the only reason I have tolerated this crap as long as I have. He never had a mother really so I was more tolerant than I normaly would have been. I think it is time to draw the line in the sand though. I am supposed to be his best friend and confidant, right?
2006-08-15 19:44:25 · update #1
I wouldnt trust the relationship either and i would move out of that apartment building....
2006-08-15 19:57:53 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start looking for a new apartment complex honey and either goes with you or he doesn't. I hate to rip on other people's husbands, but this guy really sounds like a jerk who likes to make himself feel better by putting you down. The sad thing, his ex is supporting his comments by throwing in her own two cents. Having them live in the same building makes things just a little too convenient. They also have a rather long history together, which only adds to the problem. You can't possibly be happy in this situation, and you already know what you'd tell someone else to do in this situation. He's not trust-worthy, it's obvious she has no morals what so ever and you can't trust her...so it's time to pack up and go. Like I said, with or without him. Don't do this to yourself, you deserve better and you know it.
2006-08-16 02:57:53 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is nasty! So many things wrong w/ this situation. First of all, your husband is still allowing her to be a part of his life. Secondly, he is disrespecting and disregarding your feelings about this. Third, you and your husband are living in close proximity with her. You are not paranoid and insecure. You have the RIGHT to feel what you're feeling. Since you've already voiced your concerns about this and he insists on his friendship w/ her, then perhaps it's her he should be with. Leave him, he's a dog.
2006-08-16 03:06:58 · answer #3 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not paranoid or insecure. He should grow up. She's his ex for a reason; however, it sounds like she's not really his ex and he likes playing games with you. I'd get rid of him especially if you had cervical cancer and are still having problems. It's very insensitive of him to compare you to her in bed but especially after something so traumatic. I wonder how he'd do in the sex department if someone ripped off one of his nuts.
2006-08-19 18:31:27 · answer #4 · answered by Garfield 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO you shouldn't trust him. This is a formula for certain failure unless you guys take drastic measures to fortify your relationship. I'd suggest:
1) taking a vacation for just you two
2) really open up a two way traffic line of communication between both of you and talk about what you both feel with an equal understanding of no judgments or name calling (starting at the vacation)
3) establish a clear understanding between the two of you as to your importance and priority to eachother versus others (ie the ex). if it is acceptable, keep him.
3) if you keep him, make an aggreement to move out of that apartment, and do it jointly.
4) agree to not give out the new address to the ex for at least 2months. that will "wean" him off her and back to you. if he REALLY wants and cares for you.
2006-08-16 02:52:23 · answer #5 · answered by Jay H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a bad situation - he should take your side no matter what and if he understands that you're finding his friendship with this woman difficult, he needs to make a decision concerning which one he values more. If you feel confident (no matter the outcome) I would ask him to end all ties with her and I would move so the constant reminder/temptation isn't there any longer.
2006-08-16 02:32:39 · answer #6 · answered by jbabee22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Umm, your the wife, right? And she's just an exgirlfriend, right? I know that my math isn't the greatest, but he was 21 and she was 44, right? That's a pretty big age difference. Maybe there's some kind of Oedipus complex going on there?
2006-08-16 02:34:29 · answer #7 · answered by Shadow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave. He is more than likely cheating on you. Trust me, been there done that. All the sign are there. F him, find someone who won't degrade you. You deserve better.
At the very least put it to him like this. You don't trust them, you don't like the way he degrades your sex life, especially with the cancer and all. You aren't going to put up with this. Her, or me... His reaction will speak louder than words.
2006-08-16 02:32:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
to me it seems like he is putting her before you, i mean, if he loves you he should respect you and why would guys go out with their x girlfriend if they didnt still have feelings. i would lay down the law and tell him to choose who he wants, you or the old woman. and if he chooses her, look at it this way, he is 29 she is 52, by the time he is her age she will be dead or too old to do anything. how would he feel then.
2006-08-16 02:54:06 · answer #9 · answered by im so yummy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not trust him. I like to have casual sex with some of my ex-girlfriends. So do most guys I know.
2006-08-16 02:32:26 · answer #10 · answered by NïghtStalkër_666 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋