I don't know if I'm meant to be with my fiancee.?

Question

I feel like I'm his servant. It feels like I'm there to do whatever he wants whenever he wants. I don't have any friends to turn to because we moved to a different part of the state for his job and he always goes out to drink and leaves me at home. I also suffer from severe depression. I just quit my job and only have a little money left. What should I do? Does antone else feel like their relationship is like this?

Answer 1

You shouldn't feel this way. He should treat you like a queen not like his servant. This isn't something you should be feeling with the man you love. I would put off a wedding until you can get a more certain answer to the question "do I love this man?".

You need to get some help for the depression too, I have depression and my life is so much better since I have gotten help. It is amazing the difference and others recognize it as well. This man should be helping you not ignoring you. Please tell him what you expect from him and how you expect to be treated. If he can't give you that then you need to get out!!

Answer 2

Now I don't know much about relationships since i'm only 13, but if this man loves you, he wouldn't do this to you. Does he know that you have no friends, and are lonely? If not, you should let him know. Tell him that you don't like that he leaves you alone to go out and drink, and you have nothing to do since you have no job. It seems like he's making you feel worthless, as if you're only there to prove that he can get a girl. If after talking to him he doesn't change, then you should dump him. No woman deserves to be treated like this.

Answer 3

1- You should go to a good marriage counselor.

2- If you still feel this way after counseling, you need to call off the engagement. Your marriage will never last if you are feeling so depressed. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and you don't want to spend it in misery.

3- No...I would never stay in a relationship that brought on depression. I'm not that desparate.

Answer 4

No, but I know of a young adult female this happened to. She finally had enough and called her family to come and get her (she lived several states away). It was probably worse for her because she married the jerk. She is now very happy, living in a state she loves and enjoying life once again.

If he treats you this way now, you will be his unpaid, unappreciated slave after you get married.

Answer 5

If you are this unhappy, why would you quit your job and leave yourself in a position of dependence? Get back to work, stash away money and put off getting married until you know if that's where want to be.

Answer 6

Marriage is supposed to make your life seem better, not worse. How could you even think about going through with a wedding now?

Ask your parents for help, or someone who might be able to help you get out of his house.

Answer 7

I think I just answered a question from him and he has concerns of his own. Since both of you are getting cold feet I would say to just hang out for a while longer before tying the knot.

Answer 8

I guess it depends where you are in life. Have you reached your personal goals? If you life were to continue in this way for decades, would you be happy?

It sounds to me like you should reconsider this marriage. I hope you have family member that you can talk to.

Good luck, and don't be afraid to start over.

Answer 9

Don't marry this man. You need to get yourself together before you make a big decision like this. Deal with your depression.

Answer 10

This sounds like a very bad situation. It doesn't seem that he cares about or respects you at all. If you've got any family to go to - do it. Get out before it gets really abusive.