Alright, so my girlfriend of 5 years (actually fiance) broke up with me about a month ago. We were getting married in a few weeks. I haven't spoker to her since then. Actually I say her briefly a couple weeks ago to pickup some mail and she told me she wants me to call her. I said no, you can call me if you want to talk. So 2 more weeks pass. Anyway, she called last night and we talked for about an hour. Didn't talk about us, just other stuff. At the end of the conversation she said that she didn't want to lose me as a friend and that she was serious about me calling her. So I don't know what to do. Is she just trying to get me to chase her? Or does she really want to start talking again? I don't know what to do. I don't want to call her and be a pawn, but I don't want to not call her and miss out on fixing things. Should I just let her keep calling me?
2006-08-15 18:51:54 · 25 answers · asked by untrepublican 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its ok I am banging her.
2006-08-15 18:54:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Actually I say her briefly a couple weeks ago to pickup some mail and she told me she wants me to call her. I said no, you can call me if you want to talk.
first mistake - do not play games
So 2 more weeks pass. Anyway, she called last night and we talked for about an hour. Didn't talk about us, just other stuff.
that's the road to recovery - she was just feeling you out to see where she stands...
At the end of the conversation she said that she didn't want to lose me as a friend and that she was serious about me calling her.
So I don't know what to do.
call her
Is she just trying to get me to chase her?
no
Or does she really want to start talking again?
yes
I don't know what to do. I don't want to call her and be a pawn, but I don't want to not call her and miss out on fixing things.
do NOT play more games
Should I just let her keep calling me?
no, CALL HER!
2006-08-15 19:02:18 · answer #2 · answered by milhouse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a bunch of lameos tonight. Nice answers so far huh? I truly believe that she is sort of waiting for you to make the first move. She has made it extremely clear that she is open to "a" relationship, doesn't sound like someone who has hard feelings. Maybe she just wants you to tell her that you still feel for her and you think she still feels for you and lets take this one step at a time and see how it goes. I guess I can't really say w/o knowing why she ended it in the first place.
However it is SOOO important that if you did screw up in anyway shape or form, or if she even THINKS you did, that you be willing to admit it and say the words...
I'm sorry.
No 2 words in the English language can heal people/relationships faster.
Good luck babe! I'll be rooting for ya!
2006-08-15 19:00:02 · answer #3 · answered by Ponderpink 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all, Im glad you didnt break down and call her,. Trust me, i am a perfect example of one of these kinds of women. (well, was before i got married). The girl obviously knows what she wants and its apparently not you. And IF she says shes made a mistake or thinks things can be fixed, y would you want to fix things back? Do you want this to happen again? It will. You can be a back up plan for all you know. But no, dont call her. Thats the decision she made. DONT let her have the best of both worlds. She left you in the dark. Dont let her have her cake and eat it too. Let the decision she made linger. She made her bed let her lie in it. Dont be a sucker. Trust me, if she left you like that, she thought it well over and she knew what she was doing. i dont think Ponderpink really read your question. that or shes never broke up with someone. Anyway, to be blunt shes playing with you or she just feels bad. Why do you have to chase her? Games ,games, games.....
Thats like going,"No, i dont want to marry you." At the very last minute. Then she says, "Well, hmmm, mabie..."
2006-08-15 18:58:57 · answer #4 · answered by Baby Jack born 4/5/09 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're about to be upset cause I'd say this whole situation you've just explain is a ' total waste of time ' for both of you.
Why? you both have never drill into the core of the problem in the relationship.
Sadly, on your side, you have never given opportunity by patching things up, even your Gf has been calling you time and time again to get you to realize it. I don't know what is the problem between both of you on having this breakup, since you've never tell from the beginning....and seriously,there's 1 explanation on such behavior of yours, I think its because you've fallen out of love with your fiancee.
Think about it....If I were your fiancee, I would have leave you for good, cause I'M not about to waste so much time and energy (of 5 years) with a person like you.
And If the problem which lay on the side of your fiancee, ...I think it'll be best to be honest with your feelings for once.
Just tell her straight what you're thinking and try to look for a solution,..... instead of wasting so much time and energy into something worthless!
2006-08-15 19:07:02 · answer #5 · answered by dun_give_ a_ damn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her a call, if she calls you again after that then let it go back and forth taking turns. Make it a joint effort that way you don't feel like your at her beck and call. See where it goes from there. Don't rush back into things tho, there was a reason she left and you need to address what ever problem it was so you can avoid it in the future. I left my fiancee after three years and it's hard. I wish you the best and I hope you get her back and live happily ever after. Good luck.
2006-08-15 19:01:07 · answer #6 · answered by lovemykalli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, sounds like you two had some unresolved issues, maybe even issues you didn't know the two of you had. If you loved her enough to marry her, shouldn't you love her enough to call her. She's probably going through a very hard time and could use the advice of the person she thought was her best friend. Seek couples therapy if you two decide to get back together though, sounds like you need to work through some stuff.
2006-08-15 18:57:51 · answer #7 · answered by legallyblond2day 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this girl quite simply just wants to remain friends but not lovers, unless you can honestly accept this I would not call her, however if you feel that you can be " just friends " then go ahead and call her. You need to move on with your life and look to the future and not live in the past. I wish you all the best.
2006-08-15 18:57:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call her only if it feels comfortable for you. Besides,what's wrong with being just her friend? She is not trying to make you chase her. It sounds like she's genuine. Just be unattached and go on with your own life with your own pursuits. Don't expect anything in return. You can still have her in your life as a friend and be happy.
2006-08-15 19:02:32 · answer #9 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bite the bullet and call her, i know you might feel like a pawn but perhaps shes just playing one of her games (you know what i'm talking about) to see if your serious about taking the relationship to the next level.
if that isn't enough reason then,,,,,
bite the bullet, be a pawn for now, but once you get married , listen to the vows, she must love and OBEY you lol
2006-08-15 18:58:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think its better you call her too ... she made an effort to be the first one to call ... i think it was hard for her to pick up the phone and call you ... so call her and discuss your problem ... who knows ... the wedding might still be on :) but if your just a friend to her .. just accept it ... there are a lot of women out there ... and there is a sure one for you :)
2006-08-15 18:58:42 · answer #11 · answered by wondering 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋