Rape, How Can I Help?

Question

My friend got raped when she was 13 and 14, how can I help her date again and help her cope with this? The first time she was kidnapped and nearly shot. The guy had killed 2 girls previously out of 3, the third to survive was her. The second time was last month, she's 14 now. She was on a date, it was date rape. She barely escaped that situtaion. She has massive scars, welts, and bruises now. How can I help my friend to date again and let her know that I'm there for her? Also, how can I help her to cope with the situtaion and let her know that all guys will not give her "inccidents" as she has expierienced earlier. My friend is terrified now, afraid to leave the house sometimes. She finds comfort in online dating, but that isn't safe, what can i do to help her?

She can date because she's turning 15 next year, and where we live it's a close knit town. She has a physchologist working with ehrm and she's been reading lots of information on how to cope with rape. So stop sending me rude answers.

Yes I spoke to her mother

Answer 1

there is really nothing you can do to help her date again. the only thing you can really do as a friend is listen to her and be there when she needs you. your friend wont date again until she is ready to. being raped is a horrible experience that she will live with the rest of her life. she needs to work up to dating at her own pace. when she feels she has met someone that she can trust she will date again. her trust in guys will probably be very very low for quite some time. she will let you know when she is ready all you need to do is listen.

Answer 2

Just be her friend and if she don't want to date, hey it isn't a big deal. Look at 13 and 14 that is all I cared about, but now I see I was wrong don't make her or try to get her to date, you and her need to focus on school, I know you think I am an old crone, but I am not. I am 25, and yes I am a mom but hes only 4. Trust me, focus on school work and fun. Thinkin bout the opposite sex will come with time. When you graduate from High School, you will see what I mean, there is more to life than boys.

Answer 3

First of all don't even mention dating to her that is to soon. She needs to deal with what she has gone through. Poor girl I feel for her. She is only 14 and she needs to seek help immediately. I hope they got those bastards that did that to her... Hopefully with the help she gets and as she gets older she will be able to trust again. She has been through some hard violent trauma so she is going to need all the help she can get. Just being her best friend and being there for her will help her some. And another thing tell her not to be talking to strangers on the Internet. She is too young and that can bring trouble too! I will pray for her!

Answer 4

Tell her to dat women....they are much more gentle, and statistically proven to not rape other women and seek mostly love and mutual feeling....and tell her if she wants to give it a shot, ill talk to her.......i wont hit on her, but ill help her cope wit trying something new..... katt1887 on yahoo messenger......i know it sounds unconventional but i was molested by my grandfather for 3 years as a small child and raped on my 13th birthday and i know how she feels. i now date women and still have amazing sexual experiences, and somehow feel more love and compassion than a man could ever give me, and i never thought i would be with women before untill a woman who was raped and started being with women gave me this same advice.........

Answer 5

LOOK SWEETIE SHE IS ONLY 14 AND DOESNT NEED TO BE DATING SCHOOL SHOULD BE HER MAIN FOCUS BUT IN REGARDS TO ADVICE SHE SHOULD GO TO THERAPY AND TALK TO SOMEONE IM SORRY THAT THAT HAPPENED TO HER I REALLY AM I ALMOST GOT RAPPED ONCE TOO SO I KNOW HOW SHE FEELS AND IF SHE WANTS TO DATE SHE SHOULD TRY DATING GUYS WHO R HER AGE AND NOT A LOT OLDER THAN HER AND SEE WHATS HAPPENS IM 20 YEARS OLD AND IM NOT COMIN DOWN ON U R HER BUT MEN R LOOSERS AND I CARE ABOUT ALL YOUNG FEMALES TODAY

Answer 6

sadly this situation tends to happen way too often, that a girl gets raped consecutively...

she needs professional help...

probably more than you can provide (even thought your support and frienship are 100% necessary for her to get torugh this).

for your to be supportive and a good friend you need to educate yourself.....here is a phone number you can call to get real information and you can talk to someone and get her some real resources as to how to help your friend (its conffidential)

Rape Crisis 1.800.656.HOPE (4673)....don't be afraid to call your friend needs you....you should also give this number to her .

Answer 7

Talk to her like you would your own daughter. You and her mom needs to get together and decided how to help make it a safer world out there for your daughters.I hope that you have told her mom about this. I mean after all, wouldn't you want to know if this happened to one of your daughters.

Answer 8

GO ON DOUBLE DATES OR GROUP DATING MAKE HER FEEL COMFORTABLE AND SECURE SHE HAD SOMETHING TOOK FROM HER AND SHE CANT JUST BLINK HER EYES AND GET IT BACK ITS GOING TO TAKE TIME AND IF SHES NOT READY THEN DONT RUSH HER,BUT JUST INVITE HER OUT WITH FRIENDS NO STRINGS ATTACHED AND LET HER TAKE HER TIME AND LIKE NO BARS OR NIGHT CLUBS WITH A LOT OF DRUNK PEOPLE TAKE HER BOWLING OR FISHING ANYTHING BUT ONLY TIME WILL HEAL ALL PAINS MAY GOD BE WITH YOU AND YOUR FRIEND GOOD LUCK

Answer 9

seek a doc and a counseller
be sure about a person before dating somebody

Answer 10

your friend really needs to report these incidents if they werent reported and then she needs to get some serious counseling. she doesnt need to let this ruin her life, she can overcome this and lead a normal life. i will be praying for you and her.