We married last October and he has done better, but the problem is also that he is 15 years younger and is immature for his age. I love him and have been with him 5 years. I was going through a divorce at the time and he was just there. He has a very strong personality and we argue and fight a whole lot. He has matured quite a bit, but I feel like my life is wasting away waiting for him to grow up and use moderation in drinking. I also have a drinking problem but have been using moderation. I enjoy drinking at parties and celebrations as well, but I hate it when he just sits and drinks all night by himself. Sometimes I will drink too just so I can hang out with him at his level. I have a teenager daughter who lives with us and she doesn't like his over indulging either. I have threatened divorce, but the problem is, I was a homemaker for 20 years and can't make enough money for me and my youngest daughter to survive. 1 option is the family busines bt it is 400 mls.awayfrom othr 5 kids.
2006-08-15 16:56:26 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Please, leave now. Take it from someone experienced in this situation. I am in my late teens. When I was 13 my older sister moved away to college. My father always had a drinking problem but at least we had each other to cry to and when she left it tore me apart. When I was 14-15 my mom kept getting my hopes up, threatening to leave him, asking a priest for advice, and getting out of the house and having fun more often. I became optimisitc! Then something suddenly changed... my fathers alcoholism and negative dispostion turned my mom to drinking as well! It was the hardest thing for me to endure! Just weeks ago she had been on my side, now that? I was so depressed. Alcohol ruins families. I still live in this hell hole but will be doing my senior year in high school this coming September. I thank my parents for one thing only, showing me what I will NEVER be and will never allow my husband to be when I have children and am married..
My final words to you are the words that the priest gave my mom... she might've let these words slip away but I hope you will keep them close to you.
"Dealing with an alcoholic is like saving someone that is drowning in a pool. The first time it is okay to go in and try to save them however if everytime you go to save them, instead of allowing you to help, they push you under, it's time to stop saving them and save yourself."
2006-08-15 17:20:37 · answer #1 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You both obviously need help. If you admit you have a problem , you have taken the first step. Rehab or regular AA meetings work wonders if you are willing to stop totally. The example you both are setting isnt a good one, ive tortured myself and others for 32 yrs. Im sober for this 24 hrs. and at peace with myself now. Things are only going to get worse if you dont become willing to do something about it !!!
2006-08-15 17:12:31 · answer #2 · answered by eric_rbb 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know what to do. Is this what you want for your daughter. 15 years is too large of a difference for any relationship. If you have a drinking problem, deal with your issue. Two drunks can't make it with out drama. Think of your daughter. Be creative with your finances. Don't make excuses for failure. Those excuses will not float when your child is grown and blaming her screwed up life on you and your drunk boy toy.
2006-08-15 17:09:05 · answer #3 · answered by kyle g 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I see no reason you are able to no longer flow on your mothers and dads. you're no longer the single they are mad at. And to your sister, supply your mothers and dads a wager to cool down till now you even attempt to hold her as much as them. She basically used them enormous time and their feeling the betrayal. they're going to ultimately cool down adequate which you will point out a reconciliation. it might take a at a similar time as although. And be arranged for the prospect that they won't react properly to the advice. once you flow to next month, their maximum in all probability nevertheless going to be particularly sore approximately it, so do no longer carry what happened up. appreciate your flow to with your mothers and dads. at some point, your sister will the two strengthen up and take administration of her existence and look after her little ones, or she would be in a position to get a great awaken call whilst somebody threatens to take them far off from her. One or the different is going to take place ultimately and with a bit of luck it works out properly and he or she steps up and starts off performing like the mature confirm she could be.
2016-11-04 21:58:43 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You still have one baby bird in your nest... think about your daughter. Move back to your family and get yourself back on even ground.
Maybe this relationship was just what you needed when going through your divorce, but it doesn't sound like it's what you need right now. I know you don't want to divorce again, but this time I think you have some solid reasons. You needed a shoulder to lean on, maybe not to have married.
2006-08-15 18:16:56 · answer #5 · answered by BuffyFromGP 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him and go for the family business before it's too late even for that. Try to get the other 5 kids to stay with you.
2006-08-16 05:41:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Start by going to Al Anon and you'll be able to sort this crap out and decide what to do in a way that is healthy for you.
Good Luck and God Bless.
2006-08-15 17:01:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess the lesson learned is never marry the rebound person and never marry an alcoholic.
2006-08-15 17:02:47 · answer #8 · answered by Joy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
after the first drink thats when you leave
2006-08-15 17:11:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A.A. would be a great place to start!
2006-08-15 17:02:12 · answer #10 · answered by kayboff 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋