how do i make my husband to listen to me?

Question

i have been married for 9 months. my husband wants all the things his way. he decides what i wear, he decides how we docorate the house. he is even making what career i should choose. i am almost in depression. dont answer me to leave him. i am in diffrent country and totally dependent on him. i need some advice/tips or websites to follow some descipline to make him listen to me. thanks for your help.

Answer 1

What made you marry him? Do you really love him or was this a marriage of convenience? If you really love him, then try very hard to let him know that you are miserable the way things are and that you want a WONDERFUL marriage, but he's got to give you some space and independence. A good book on how to figure out your mate is "The Five Love Languages" by Chapman. Your local library and bookstore should have it. It's got some great tips on getting your spouse's attention and learning how THEY see things and how to get them to see them YOUR way.

Answer 2

Nine months of mutual relation is a too short time to decide anything. Within the sincere pursuits of the relationship of marriage, you only can devise and ensure compliance of some damage control exercise between you both, which quite simple and also self attainable. No confrontation should ever be made in resolving any issue. After all, you being a fair sex creature could also muster the peculiarities applicable and allowed to you only in diffusing the situation.

Answer 3

Dear, Dear, Dear,

I am so sad that you do not have your own will. Or do you and you don't mind this man controlling you.

First of all, if he wants things his way and you let him, get over it. But if you are against it and he still gets his way you need to grow some skin.

Okay, now why does he ( a man) tell you how to decorate the house unless you have hideous taste? Many of my friends had the same problem with their husbands and I could not believe that they wouldn't let them hang a picture. This is her house too. Stand your ground and tell him, NO, I am going to decorate my house the way I want and If you don't like it, too bad, then add your own touches to it.

Next, The Dressing you thing has me in a frenzy. Now how do you wear what he wants you to wear. Are you dead? Wake up sister, tell this man that you are going to wear what you want to wear and that is final, if he gets mad, he will get over it. Trust me.

Career? Now I am getting sick that he has chosen your career. Do you just sit back and ask him what you need to do next? Like okay, what do I wear today and where am I going to work? Do you realize how pat ethic that sounds? You obviously know that it is wrong or you would not be asking.

So girl grow some thick skin and get your act together and grow up. Think about it!

Answer 4

sounds like many countries i know of. the woman has no say in anything. you must have known before you got married what you were getting into. many countries and cultures the man decides everything. if your not from one of those countries, leaving is the only option as it will get worse with beatings and even death in some cases. with his type of thinking, no counseling will ever help let alone will he go and the only thing that will come of it is his anger for it and regret on you and some smacks. i've seen it to often.

Answer 5

Tread lightly here, my dear. You sound as though you have no fear of him and as though he is just domineering. If this is true, and ONLY if you have ABSOLUTELY NO FEAR that he may hurt you, confront him about his behavior. Try talking with him about it in the car or while doing another activity, guys are able to listen better and feel less threatened when they are not face to face. Say things from your perspective and in reference to you ("I really feel as if my opinion doesn't matter, especially when you make decisions without talking with me first"). This statement and others worded similarly are a lot easier to take and to deal with in a positive way than ("You really hurt me, you don't listen to me, you don't respect me").
If you are uncomfortable with direct confrontation try this: write him two letters; one very angry letter that you tear up after you write it, and one businesslike letter where you calmly tell him what you feel and why.
Remember this, everyone hates to be called on their behavior, if you give him a way to show you respect and deal with the issue without having to bathe in shame, he will be more likely to take positive action. Tell him what things you do like, what things you want him to do, and always show appreciation and reward him when he does show respect (a special thank you dinner, or whatever, when he asks your opinion for ANYTHING even something small will encourage him to do it again).
Just think of it as training so that you can teach your children about respect and consideration later. And if all else fails, get help; call his mom or someone he really respects and ask for advice, or talk with a counselor.
Best wishes and lots of love.

Answer 6

He has you where he wants you.. in a strange country, away from a support group. The reality is.. he can't make you do what you don't want to do. Pick out your own clothes, don't argue with him, just do it. Plan your own career path. State your reasons why and just do it. What is he going to do? Never raise your voice, just quietly tell him "I'm not a baby I can think for myself". If he won't pay for your education for the career path you want, tell him you will get a job and pay your own way. Hopefully you are using birth control and know how to use it properly.

Answer 7

you have the right to decide things for yourself no matter what country you live in and it's not right that he tells you what to wear and where to work. if you can choose a career then you should be able to take care of yourself and not be dependent on him, but if you can't leave him then i suggest you try to sit down with him and really talk things out and make him listen to your side of things.

Answer 8

my dear as you are totally dependent on your husband and don't want to leave him either than the best thing is that do most of those small things that he asks you to do in his presence and when he gone to workplace live your life your way, but if the things are serious like concerning your job,career you need to talk to him when he is in relaxed mood before sex tell him all the positive points of the job which he would like, be with proper reason if he does not approve any logic of yours, and continuously be after him everyday for his yes, but use this formula only for serious thing and let him feel happy by obeying him on pity issues unless it is not affecting you much

Answer 9

be the role model and try to listen to him.your marriage is still fresh and new so you should try your best to make your marriage work and last,except if you married him because you are in a different country and you are dependent on him.listen to him and sometimes call him and talk to him about it.9 months is not a long time of marriage you know,save your marriage and think before you act.good luck

Answer 10

You are dealing with a control issue! Your husband has a problem very hard to break.He is use to being with people he controls like the leader of a clan.Most woman dont marry a man with this controling behavoir unless they like it and submit.If you do not like it you made a mistake .So its not about him its about you now .You wont change him its inbred.U either except him or divorce .Good luck!