I have come so close to breaking if off w/him but can't stick w/it. I've found out over a year ago that he was calling another girl every day, several times a day and at night after he'd leave me. He was seen w/another girl at a bar, and made light of it to me. He's quite controlling, wanting to know where I'm at and why it takes me so long to do things. We are both divorced, but he has alot of baggage with his two kids, ages 14 and 16, especially the 16 yr old girl. She's very manipulating. Now she claims that she doesn't want to be around me. I've come so close to ending this relationship in my mind, and have told him how I'm feeling, but he turns everything around to make it seem like it's my fault. I get confused and think that maybe it is. We will have a fight and then the next day he calls and is very nice to me, and then the cycle starts all over again. How do I stay mad and end it and not look backwards all the time??
2006-08-15 16:25:21 · 5 answers · asked by jeep 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It took me about 2.5 years from the time we met to finally extricate myself from a relationship that was going nowhere fast.
I tried several times during the 2.5 years to break it off, but I would always go back with him. What it finally came down to was that I had become a dry well emotionally from being the only grownup in the relationship, from his lies, manipulativeness, emotional abuse and the roller coaster ups and downs. I had had my fill of him and I broke it off cold turkey. This time it stuck. I changed my phone number and was determined to not get back together with him when he came around, which he always did.
Maybe you just haven't had your fill of him yet. At some point, everybody reaches their limit. You have to believe in yourself and that you deserve better. You have to be strong and not buckle under when he tries to sweet talk you back, which he will. Only you can make it happen, but if you really want to end it with this man, its within your power to do so. Good Luck.
2006-08-15 16:44:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, let me tell you. I was in the same situation. Im 26 and I was with my son's dad since I was 13. We were together for 10 years. I let him go about three years ago. It wasn't easy but one day I told him how I felt and just went on doing my own thing. A few things: If he is controlling - most likely he is abusive (physically) or can become that way. I would suggest you talk to him and let him know you no longer want to be in this relationship. If he lives at ur place tell him to be out - if that doesn't work call the cops and have them take him out, get a restraining order and don't talk to him at all - like i said he could become violent. If you live with him then just go somewhere safe. I don't want to scare you - but it's the truth guys can become so scary sometimes. You have to be strong and realize that he is not going to change! You can't waste your life like this!! You can get better than him! Someone that will respect you. I admit when I first left him, I felt lonely, I started dating and realized a few things that the new guys did I didn't like and I always thought - "wow" my ex was so good at this or he never did this to me. Buuutt....I finally found someone that respected me, that wanted to be with me, that truly loves me for me! I know you can find that special someone too - sometimes it just comes to u - without even looking. My ex went crazy, even threaten with killing himself, but when I finally went out with someone new, he chilled out.
Like I said before you have to be strong! For him to do what he has done to you and the next day be all nice - that's a form of abuse... for him being controlling checkin up on u - that's abuse and let me tell you it will only get worse!! I might be younger than you but I have been through a lot! I actually have my sister and my best friend going through the same thing right now. I give them advice like crazy but they still let them control them.. there is not much I can do then give them advice and hope they open their eyes and believe that they deserve so much better!!! There are great guys out there! Why waste your time with someone that doesn't respect you, does what they want and still thinks they own you? Please, again.. be strong and do whatever possible to get outta there. It's not healthy! When you do decide to go through with it - be safe - think about every possible outcome and be prepared and take care of yourself first!!! Good luck! God Bless You. If you ever wanna chat you can email me at Giluxa_pr@yahoo.com
2006-08-15 16:54:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most obvious reason why is you still like him. You like him, so you deny that he's been getting around. Whenever thinking and debating the idea of a break-up in your mind, just think about what he did wrong. You'll never not look backwards, but everntually you will learn and move on. Then you will find your guy, and you'll be happy.
2006-08-15 16:34:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at all the positive things you are getting out of this relationship and all the negatives. If the negatives are more than the positives than you have to ask yourself why your putting up with it. 6 years is not easy to let go but are you going to wait another 6 more in misery? You have to do what is best for you.
2006-08-15 16:34:59 · answer #4 · answered by puertoricout 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow any answers would be great, i would like to know the same thing, except i have a b/f of 9 years...
2006-08-15 16:35:14 · answer #5 · answered by Romy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋