Me and my wife has been married for 4 years and we have a nice little priencess. From last year i am studying outside USA. And on this christmas i will be back home in US. I found that my wife is doing cyber and having relationship with her x bf whom she dated before our marriage. this is very painful. what should I do? whenever i ask her about this on phone she says that she love me as she loved me before .. but her internet profile says something else. I am messed up .. In general, we had a nice marriage or i will say a perfect marriage ...no fighting, good sex, and a good and helthy life. but she ruined everything, may be the seperation from me had made us to do like this .. but if i can be loyal to her and dont do anything then why she cant? If i divorce her then is it wise according to Bible? Because she cheated on-line by doing cyber sex.
What u guys think ? Kindly help. Should i end this relationship? because i cant be her second choice. I just cant Please help
2006-08-15 16:16:31 · 25 answers · asked by nicedudelookin4u 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
forgive ang forget. i know, what she did was undeniably wrong. is she remorseful about it? if she is, everybody deserves a second chance. sometimes people tend to do crazy things because of loneliness. did you communicate with her as much as possible? she might had been tempted to do it to lessen her loneliness. i know, that is not an excuse, but we are only human, everyone makes mistakes. just try to forgive and forget, it won't be easy, but you two had a wonderful love and life to begin with. and don't let her be lonely again. could it be that it is one of her weaknesses? pray hard.
2006-08-15 16:34:47 · answer #1 · answered by julian 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She is very lonely. Yeah she is in a way cheating.
You guys HAVE to live in the same place to save the marriage.
Not good to leave a woman alone with little one . She needs your touch and your body and your voice, And you leave the country???
I don't get why men do stuff like that. My X husband told me that I would thank him someday for working all day and going to school all night and never being with me and the kids. I never thanked him. Sure, he made lots of money, but I wanted him.
I left him 10 years ago. He has his good job and his money and I am no longer tormented by a spouse that didn';t have a clue of how to be a husband.
God doesn't call us in to marriages to be tourtoured. But, we do make choices that can make a marriage flurish or die.
Get back home asap
P.S. this isn't all on you. If she needs attention and cybering it should be with you NOT with an X bf. that is bad.
Gosh, I stayed faithful in a 26 yr marriage that was a bad marriage.
Your wife needs to be accountable for her messing around online.
2006-08-15 23:26:27 · answer #2 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that is hard when you can't trust your partner when you love so much. I can't be second neither I'm going through the same thing. First off how did you find out? Did you talk to her about the affair? Anyway if she is doing cyber sex to me that is cheating that's what I fight about with my bf..He think is not hurting anyone but it hurts me. He never had cyber sex but I caught him flirting and on his profiled he would state that he is single looking for a hot women for sex. That's cheating. It hurts me a lot but I love him I'm still with him. I can't give you any advise but you marry her, at least try to work it out first before you seek a divorce. Just don't do any crazy like murder...is not worth it.
2006-08-15 23:28:23 · answer #3 · answered by Sexy C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do not thinkthat u should end d marriage, it seems as if u were in love talk to her and u guys approach the problem 2gether, give her a second try because everyone deserves a second try. Let her understand that u r studying 2 better off u guys life and if she cannotm be faiithful then u'll find someone who will. She will be scared 2 loose someone like u so just play it cool and we'll c what happens from there. It is not worth letting someone great go.
2006-08-15 23:22:53 · answer #4 · answered by Italian Empress 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok no one can defintaly make da choice for u. u have to make it on ur own. shure i suppose we can help u. but we cannot decide 4 u. but what i think is u should go and talk to your wife about it. and see why she did this. and i do know one thing, u said she only cybered sex right? i know that cheating by doing cyber sex isnt as bad as doing actual sex. but its still wrong to do when you are married. ask her about her online profile, why it says different. maybe she does still love u as she loved u be4. its just hard 4 her to be away from u and once u get back home she will realized how much she just has missed u. but i dont really know what to say. i mean this might be a little wrong, but my friend had kinda the same thing going on, and well what i did for her, her and i both did was go to my house, make up our own name and profile on the computer and we talked to him on the computer and said we were a girl named "vanessa and angela" and were asking questions like do u have a girlfriend? and stuff like that and he lied about everything. so my friend knew he was cheating. and broke up with him. but what im saying here is, maybe u can make up ur own profile and name online go to hers and act as a different person and ask her questions, like "r u married" and things to find ur answers... i REALLY hope i helped!!! i wish the best of luck for ur marriage! =) and hope all goes well and ur trip back home is safe!
2006-08-15 23:37:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what a hard place for you to be in. To me it looks like she needs counseling as an individual and you both need counseling as a couple. There could be a handful fo reasons why she is doing this but bottom line is you don't like it. She needs to respect that. It's looks like she misses the affection. Have you two thought about cyber sex or phone sex? It might satisfy what she needs until you get back to her.
2006-08-15 23:24:55 · answer #6 · answered by glamr216 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys need to go to counseling. If u can't get past it then maybe u need to seek for a divorce and move on with ur life. Infertility is very bad, its the end of trust and respect in a relationship. Go on Dr.Phil.com check out the site very helpful tips. Good Luck to u.
2006-08-16 00:01:17 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't just give up so quickly. I don't know how long you were away but she probably felt lonely, though this is in no way a good excuse at all. Talk to her about it. Let her know that what she did hurt you greatly. If she understands this, she will terminate all contact with this ex bf of hers. From there you can work on how you can get that trust back in your marriage.
2006-08-15 23:28:55 · answer #8 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being apart from someone you love is a very hard thing and sometimes loneliness makes you do even crazier things. You need to talk to her and tell her it's either her on-line lover or you. No ifs ands or buts. It's up to both of you if you want to fight for it or let it go. You also have to ask yourself is you can trust her and go back to your normal married life? Good luck and I wish you the best.
2006-08-15 23:23:34 · answer #9 · answered by tpurtygrl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THAT HAD TO HURT TO FIND THAT ON THE WWW. SHE DIDN'T ACTUALLY HAVE SEX. THIS IS A PERSONAL PROBLEM. MEANING NO ONE CAN REALLY HELP YOU WITH THIS. IT WAS HER EX<<<. MEANING SHE DOESN'T WANT HIM. HE CHOSE YOU. SO YOU DON'T HAVE THAT TO WORRY ABOUT. HAS SHE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT LEAVING YOU? THESE ARE THINGS YOU HAVE TO ASK YOURSELF.
PEOPLE ARE SO QUICK TO LET GO NO A DAYS. IF YOU FOUND SOMEONE ELSE...THEY'RE NOT GOING TO BE PERFECT EITHER. SO ASK YOURSELF....DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE HER AND YOUR CHILD OVER SOME CYBER SEX OR DO YOU WANT TO COME HOME AND RECLAIM YOUR CASTLE? LAY DOWN SOME RULES.
IN THE END IT'S YOUR CALL.
GOOD LUCK
2006-08-15 23:35:57 · answer #10 · answered by Peek@u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋