seriously, what to do with "crazy" uncle and grandma.?

Question

for 20 years my uncle (who is in his mid 40s) has lived with his mum (who is now 70), basically using her as his slave. They are both clean freaks, and i guess they made each of them worse. My uncle doesn' work, or do anthing except watch TV, and when he goes out "cycling" (to improve his health, as the doctor suggested), he is one for like 10 hours. He pees in bottles which my grandma has to empty out few times a day. He goes to the bathroom once a day, and it takes him 20 mins to get there, as he studies each floor space before stepping on it. once in the bathroom, he showers for (NO JOKE) 7-10 hours. They pay a ridiculous water bill. Since my family lives in a different country, we only see them every 3 years. The first thing we do when we get to their house is to take off our "dirty" clothes at the door, and run to the bathroom. Anyways, my grandma is staying with us for the time being. We have made her miss her flight, to buy some time, as something needs to be done. what to do?

My grandma has to mop the floor several times a day, to "clean" as uncle tell her to, and she wants to as well.
We already rang a mental hospital in their country, but their law says only the parent has the right to take such actions. Grandma declined when we asked her to sign the document!

Answer 1

Sounds like your family members need some serious psychological intervention. Your uncle, unfortunately; sounds as if he has a grocery list of mental health issues the most evident would be Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. If he has not received treatment for this he needs to do so. I do not know what country you reside in, or where they reside, but in the United States there has to be someone who takes responsibility for the person who needs the help and has to commit (sign them into) a psychiatric facility. Your uncle sounds like he has many psychological problems, but if his mother, your grandmother qualifies as his guardian; and she refuses to sign papers to have him committed and evaluated, there is not anything you can do. As long as their bills are being paid and they are not considered to be dangerous to themselves or others, your hands are tied. People are allowed to behave in many "eccentric" ways, which we may not agree with, or even understand. I cannot understand the extreme cleanliness combined with peeing into bottles...but if your grandmother is a sane person and is going along with it, and he is not physically abusive to her I really don't know what you can do. You can check with the social services department where they reside; and tell them what is happening. They may or may not be able to do a home visit and decide if this is a dangerous situation or not. How do they pay their bills, if they are getting some type of support because of your uncle not working; you may be able to get the organization who pays the support involved. I wish I could be more helpful, I hope this gives you a few places to start. Best of luck to you and your family.

Answer 2

They are clearly mentally ill, probably obsessive-compulsive disorder. Their quality of life is severely compromised, but typically, unless someone is a danger to themselves or to others, the state will not take their freedom.

I'm sorry for them. Sometimes OCD can be helped with medication.

Answer 3

Wow.

Obviously, there are mental issues.

Take her to a doctor where you live and see what he thinks is going on.

This is a one step at a time problem.

Answer 4

have her declared mentally incompetent to live alone and offer to take care of her and if necessary uncle to he may need to go to facility or what family deems appropriate. act quickly courts are slow and have witnesses and documentation. Lawyer if at all possible or legal aid if money is a problem good luck:-)