I have been married for about a year and a half and my wife still asks me about ex girlfriends all the time. She wants to know all the details of our past sex life, and is always trying to out-do them. No matter what.
Is that just healthy competition, or possibly some kind of unhealthy insecurity?
2006-08-15 15:45:04 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
She is fully aware how much I love her and that she is by far the best woman I have ever been with in everyway.
And I have tried telling her that I dont want to talk about ex-gfs, but she insists.
Is it possible that she is, you know, into hearing about it?
2006-08-15 16:19:20 · update #1
As far as my 360 friends being all women, that's because they are the only ones who contact me. If a guy wrote me a message or requested to add me I would reply/add them as well.
2006-08-16 01:36:59 · update #2
Being completely honest with you I am one of these girls also - I want to know the ins and outs of all my boyfs exes but for me its an insecurity thing. Its not easy to admit let me tell you!! I dont do it because I want to hear but I do it because I want to feel secure that I am the best girlfriend etc but to be honest no matter how many times I hear it I dont believe it I think with some of us girls we only hear what we want to and we build up in our head these images of the perfect ex girlfriend. I would guess based on how I am that either she has had a man in the past mess with her head which has made her feel this way (for me it was my dad leaving his 3 daughters when we were young and not showing us any emotion/involvement since and hence we were brought up with our only experience of men being negative and leaving us insecure) or that possibly (not assuming anything here cos I dont know the first thing about your relationship) that there is something lacking for her in your relationship that is allowing her to feel insecure? I am not sure what to advise here but for me I can get over it by realising what makes me feel that way and then by talking some common sense into myself. It is hard though. I know it probably is annoying for you but it does show that she cares about you a lot to let these things affect her and I wouldnt necessarily take offence to it. I hope you guys work things out you know the best relationships are the ones you have to and can work on it makes you stronger. The joys of life :-)
2006-08-17 08:47:02 · answer #1 · answered by L 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its insecurity if she tries to out do them-a word of advice, stop telling her the details of your past sex life. Even if she asks, change the subject-eventually it will blow up in your face because if she is truly insecure, telling her that stuff is only feeding the insecurity, and will eventually make your life hell.
BTW-looking at your 360, it doesn't look like you're going out of your way to make her feel secure-if you're married, what's up with all of the ladies?? No wonder she's got so many questions...do better.
2006-08-15 22:54:17 · answer #2 · answered by samiam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there any nice way you can come up with to tell her that they are in the past and your future is with her? Insecurities like that can completely destroy a relationship. You need to find out why she's so insecure about your ex's and try to help her through it so you can go on enjoying your lives together without this ruling it.
2006-08-16 01:03:37 · answer #3 · answered by Jylsamynne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been skeptical myself, I would be more concerned about why she's asking and maybe it is in your best interest to ask about hers, because it could be a reversed questions and what she really wants to ask you is if you want to have a threesome with other women or men, or she could be trying to tell you that you don't quite measure up to one or more of her old boyfriends. Not to put too much stuff in your head, but I have never met a woman that I could understand why they ask certain questions and I have always been wrong.
2006-08-16 00:15:17 · answer #4 · answered by searing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you give her a reason to feel like she has to compete with anyone else? She wants to know she is the only one and the best of any you've been with before.
2006-08-15 23:13:50 · answer #5 · answered by nativeamericantay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unhealthy insecurity. Don't give her the details, she'll be upset and may try to use it against you in a fight later on.
2006-08-15 22:51:21 · answer #6 · answered by Mariposa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#2
2006-08-15 22:55:36 · answer #7 · answered by timjim 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#2
2006-08-15 22:50:08 · answer #8 · answered by Kimmie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must not have given up your contacts with ex girl friends and anyhow she could know that. You will have to create faith in her
2006-08-15 22:52:49 · answer #9 · answered by unisoul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both. She is obviously insecure, but also wants to out-do whatever they did.
2006-08-15 22:50:41 · answer #10 · answered by Isabella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋