we have a 2 year old and we are in counseling, but is seem like nothing has been accomplished. He told the counselor that he wants to have more "family time" so I ask him to go out and do more as a famile and he always ditches me for his friends. we have only been married for a year, but I am so sick of feeling like i don't matter. he doesn't care about my feelings at all.
2006-08-15 15:11:17 · 15 answers · asked by smokey 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So sorry to hear that! I would suggest that in your next session, you bring this up to the therapist. I don't mean tattle on him... I mean to say it like..." You know how last week he was talking about more family time? What am I supposed to do when I try to get more time for the family and he chooses to ditch us for his friends?" I'm sorry..that probably DOES sound a bit like tattling, lol..but there is really no nice way to put it.
As for how you handle this before your next session...I would talk to him and tell him that you are so confused because one moment he is saying he needs more family time and the next minute he chooses his friends over you. I wouldn't say it in a mean way...just gently let him know that this bothers you. He needs to own up to what he is doing. Good luck!
2006-08-15 15:28:58 · answer #1 · answered by ShineOn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously understand that you should not be treated like this. You've done your work by going to the counselor and trying to make things work. By staying with your husband in an unhappy situation you're not setting a good example for your child. Show your child that you are a strong woman and that you and your baby deserve the best!
2006-08-15 22:31:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try to address this in the next counseling session. IF your husband DOES NOT accept what is being said then I would at this point say it is OVER, FINISHED, DONE, end of story. BUT this is a decision that you and you alone will have to make. BUT YOU deserve so much better than this. Your husband needs to grow up.
2006-08-15 22:21:13 · answer #3 · answered by GRUMPY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the answer you may just not be ready to admit it to yourslef. If he sayes he wants family time but then HE ditches you that is NOT a good sign. He is telling you what he 'thinks' you want to hear, but he cant follow trough with it. He has good intentions, but good intentions only get you so far. Good Luck!!! Trust Yourself and Do What Is Right For You And Your Son!!!
2006-08-15 22:17:04 · answer #4 · answered by Jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem here is he's saying one thing and doing another. Since you are in counseling together, you might want to bring up this issue on your next session. It's unrealistic for him to give up his friends entirely but he does have to stick by his word and devote more of that time with you and your child and less on his friends.
2006-08-15 22:35:26 · answer #5 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am really sorry you are being hurt by this man. He is obviously immature and not willing to do his part to make your marriage better. You should take your child and go build a good life without this man, unless he is willing to start acting like he cares. Otherwise, your child will grow up thinking it's okay to treat a woman this way.
2006-08-15 22:32:18 · answer #6 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like possibly he was not ready for a wife and child all so soon. Might be easiest to ask him what he wants, then point out he always seems to be going out with his friends, leaving you and child behind and out of the picture.
2006-08-15 22:21:18 · answer #7 · answered by legguy2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You get him to treat you better by refusing to tolerate being treated badly. You teach people how to treat you. When he first started taking off with his friends you probably figured you didn't want to seem overbearing, you wanted to be easy to get along with, and he (as most men do) pushed it further and further and you still put up with it. Women do this to themselves all the time and men always have to push the envelope. Its ok to be agreeable (if you really agree) but when the line is crossed you put your foot down.
2006-08-15 22:17:56 · answer #8 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
then start doing things for you, you do realise you dont have to let him treat you like rubbish, the ball is in your court, because what you have written sounds like your husband isnt interested in his marriage or his family, but the is just the what i think you really have to look deep in yourself and find out if you are happy to be in a unhappy marriage, dont stay there for the childs ske because that will do him/her more harm then good.
2006-08-15 22:19:42 · answer #9 · answered by nell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he isn't trying or doesn't want it to work in the first place. If you really feel he doesn't care then you need to leave him and make a life for yourself and your son. Goodluck!
2006-08-15 22:24:27 · answer #10 · answered by Froggie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋