I am having a lot of trouble dealing with my boyfriends ex wife.?

Question

his ex wife puts him down in front of the girls. When I get upset he gets mad at me and tells me to just ignore her, I can't. I do not understand how a person can be so mean and disrespectful...

Answer 1

girl, i hear every word. i am in your shoes as we speak. all you can do is be his crying shouler and his strong arm. be there to pick him up after she kicks him down. be a better woman to him that she every was. and as far as the kids, your best legal bet is to stay out of it

Answer 2

She hates and resents you, you have her husband and she is forced to allow you to spend time with her kids just because he decided to sleep with you, for a mother that isn't a good enough reason to be with her children. If you had kids you would understand better. The straightening out of the ex needs to come from him, anything you do or so is just going to fuel the fire and convince her that she is absolutely right to hate you and that you really are an awful person and it will just escalate. Many men, however, are spineless when it comes to their ex's and won't stick up for the new gf. Your other option is to kill her with kindness, you can't hate someone that is nice to you, even if you want to. It hard to do and its manipulative but if you are looking for actual solutions there it is. Your reactions now are confirming her belief that you aren't worth liking, if you change them she will have to change hers too.

Answer 3

Take a good hard look here at what he puts up with. One thing to ignore comments in front of the kids, but when they are not around he can say something to her.
He sounds like a bit of a wuss - he needs to sort her out. If you stay with him you have a lifetime of this to put up with and no one likes to see their partner upset and made a fool of for no reason.
Tell him to get some balls. She is not his wife anymore. (No wonder)

Answer 4

Do as your "boyfriend" says (at the age of 51 I believe boyfriends are called gentleman friends). You should learn your place in this relationship. By drawing attention to what she is saying you are only giving it more importance. Do you really expect ex's to get along? If they could they wouldn't be ex's. If you can't deal with the ex you should leave the relationship and find one more suiting to your nature.

Answer 5

I feel for you, but I have to say It is not your business or your place to get involved in that, It is his kids and his ex and again not your place.

Your place is when the two of you have the children, to show them what a normal relationship looks like. The kids will grow up healthier if they have a positive roll model in the 2 of you as opposed to the 3 of you fighting all the time.

Be the more mature person in this situation, it sounds like that is what he is trying to do.

Good luck

Answer 6

Follow your boyfriend's advice...ignore her. There will be no joy in sinking down to her level and the children will, hopefully, learn that she is lying for what she thinks is her own gain.

The ex-wife is NONE of your business, really. Do the best you can by living better, and on a higher plane, that she does.

Peace, dear one.

Answer 7

First of all, don't take this the wrong way, but you need to butt out. The relationship your boyfriend had with his ex has nothing to do with you. What transpired between your boyfriend and his ex is beyond your knowledge, no one is completely honest and you don't know what precedents were set before you came in the picture.

Let me now explain why I say this. I left my ex after he had violently shoved me across a room and bit me on seperate occassions. I supported him and he was a deadbeat. After I left him, he became a very part time father. I offered visitation any time he wanted as long as he gave me 24 hours notice. He occasionally took our 1 and a half year old and every time she came home she was injured. First it was a broken toe that he sought no medical attention for. Then it was a finger slammed in the door, then it was she had been sick and not getting enough fluid with him. Twice I took her to the hospital with in 24 hours of his visitation.Eventually, he decided to move out of state. He wanted visitation for a week, she had never stayed more than a night with him before (at this point she was two). He had a girl he was living with whom I had not met. Due to the prior circumstances, I was very adimant that I wanted to run a background check to make sure she wasn't a danger. I couldn't trust him to put our child's best interests first. I had to go off on them (he always put me on speaker) and I admit, not a thing I said was nice. While I wished him happiness, I refused to allow my daughter to be where no one was there that I trusted to act in her best interest. The girlfriend thought I was a total witch as my ex refused to admit any of the things that transpired. All she knew was that he was a wonderful caring person. I will protect my daughter and be VERY passionate about it regardless what little twit the ex has connected with. Now, my daughter is almost six and i've remarried, the women left my ex eventually. I've moved far away and have no choice but to allow extended summer visits. However, he is now in a more stable environment with his family around to help him. At the time though, I didn't have a nice thing to say about him and I was very angry at what he had done to our family. I had moved on to dating my now husband long before the issue and was not jealous, but I cared what happened to my daughter and it was worth fighting for.

I'm not telling you this all to vent, As I said, we have both moved on and called a truce and almost even get along when it comes to our daughter. I tell you this because depending where in the relationship you came in to the picture, they have not reached that point, and depending, they may never do it. Because your boyfriend could fill your head with all sorts of inconsistencies, (not that he has but you wouldn't know either way.) You need to stay out of it and let them figure it out. You are a third wheel in the relationship scheme and could result in just making things even worse.

Answer 8

Rise above it. You don't have to please her or anything. She is probably his ex-wife because she acted the same way when married to him. I get along fine with my ex-wife and she and my wife even chat on occasion and I am sure compare notes (but I don't want to know about what). Maybe she is just pushing your buttons as she knows she is going to get a rise out of you. Don't rise and she will get tired of doing it.

Answer 9

It sounds like she is messing at the same time with his head, yet you men have in uncomplicated words dated for 2 months and if its over (his marriage) it truly is over for a reason, my grandmother continually reported, by no skill come back such as your ex because you'd be right now reminded of why they were your ex in the first position. in my view, you 2 have not been at the same time lengthy adequate to have something invested, if I were you i'd provide him it sluggish and area to manage his luggage (no digital mail, telephone calls or visits) and also you may decrease your losses and flow on and also you may want to easily meet someone new who doesn't have that type of nonsense occurring. i doesn't chop up with him on undesirable words, merely communicate over with him and enable him recognize it isn't determining, he's encouraging her habit by technique of relaxing her, please flow on and enable those 2 holds fingers and be at the same time. some human beings do come back at the same time once they divorce or perhaps bypass so some distance as remarrying -that could want to the course their headed in...RUN !!!!

Answer 10

The girls will see the truth. when they get older. I hope you don't say anything. about the girls mom, in front of them.. If you are.. That's why, your BF is mad.. He probably feels guilty anyway. And, that would hurt his children.more. IT dose get better. If you two love each other enough. To ride it out.