I have full custody of my 3 year old daughter. My ex GAVE me custody, I did not ask for it, but I have stood by my child and been a great dad. I have recently remarried and am expected a child with my new wife. All the sudden my ex wants full custody, she said its because we are having a baby. I allow her to see her pretty much whenever she wants, which has not been much. Now my daughter is coming home telling me that mommy says she cries when she is not with her, which I feel is psychologically inappropriate. It really makes my little girl sad, and I think its placing too much guilt on her when my ex made the choices to get her where she is. She also comes homes saying bad things about me....such as...daddy is nasty....daddy drinks beer in front of me....daddy wont let me see my mommy...which are all totally untrue...Do you agree that she should not do this to her child?
2006-08-15 14:50:24 · 11 answers · asked by Curious 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You are exactly correct. She is doing a real hatchet job on the little one and it could have serious psychological consequences. i would definitely discuss it with an attorney. something can be done.
2006-08-15 14:57:01 · answer #1 · answered by Tony T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that your daughter should not be treated this way by her mother. If she truly loved this child she would not put her through such emotional distress....Shes just simply bitter and envious of you having custody over your daughter, having a happy marriage and now with a new baby on the way...She has no other way to get to you and try to hurt you so she uses her daughter...Its appalling and terrible what she is doing...Your daughter is far too young to understand what her mother is doing and that what she is saying is wrong...The best way to approach this at this moment is to learn to ignore it....When your daughter gets a little bit older to understand try and talk to her about her mothers behaviour and the reasons behind it and allow her to make her own conclusions...Kids are smarter then we give them credit for...girls especially are very sensitive and would soon see through her mothers bitterness and understand...
I believe you leave things as they are for now unless she pursuits with the custody battle to take her away from you...I have a feeling she wont go through with it though, shes just out to cause you trouble...
2006-08-15 15:07:32 · answer #2 · answered by Spellbinder 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have full custody I would not let your ex see the child. I think the child has a stable home with you and your new wife and you should keep it that way as much as possible. If you're ex suddenly wants custody let her fight for it through the courts. They will see if she is mentally unstable, especially since she gave up custody in the first place.
2006-08-15 14:57:52 · answer #3 · answered by aaaaa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course she should NOT be doing this to your daughter. this is aweful. you need to maybe take her back to court and request full custody of your daughter. If your ex-wife has partial-custody (or whatever), request that it is a supervised visit (social worker present at all times) to make sure that she is not harming your child with such nonsense. I hope you are well and good luck with this mess that your ex has created for you.
2006-08-15 14:59:14 · answer #4 · answered by one_sera_phim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't know why you guys diforce at first place
and I don't really should telling you this, but since you asked:
may be she still in love with you (your ex) and that's why she cried.
when you're remarried, her love change into hatred (you know, the difference of love and hatred as thick as a single paper), and you can't blame her for that.
About why she told lie to daughter (if you are not the one who lying), that because if she (your daughter) often to see you, so she (your ex) affraid after she lost her husband, she'll loose her daugther too, that's only human nature, you can't blame her for that too.
That's life man, just face it, and when the time is come, time will tell the truth to your daughter.
Patient is worth than a gold, it's worth thruth and life.
2006-08-15 16:10:41 · answer #5 · answered by Joxie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st off a 3 yr old doesn't really know what is going on. at that age they repeat what they hear but it doesn't really mean they know what is going on. maybe your ex has changed her mind and wants to be the girls full time mom again and she is just afraid to ask you. i know when i went away for awhile my daughters was sad to at that age too.
but then again you should never ever use your kids to get back at your ex. she shouldn't do that to her, but remember the girl is still a baby and is just repeating things she hears. ask your ex to meet you some where and have a heart to heart with her. you guys will have to deal with each other for years and years. ask her why she is doing this and what she wants. best of luck and it is a sad thing your ex is using her like this.
2006-08-15 15:03:33 · answer #6 · answered by deener1977 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a lawyer and start documenting all this. a family law attorny or judge should be hearing this from your daughter so you do not get screwed. You should also go to court and not have your wife see your daughter. If your daugter is happy w/you she should not be put in such a horrible situation w/your ex wife at all. If can be detremental to her development and mental health
2006-08-15 19:58:31 · answer #7 · answered by chill'n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too many ex's do this, both men and women, but the child will remember the lies.
You have to be honest with the kid and by your life prove the truth.
If she ever goes beyond and says something potentially harmful, you need a lawyer. Again.
Good luck.
2006-08-15 15:35:16 · answer #8 · answered by whoknew 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think anytime an adult tries to put things in a child's head just to make the other parent mad, then it is detrimental.Two parents can not play tug a war with their own child. while you seem to be the one that is trying to find some sensible answers to what is going on with your child then you also, should be the one that goes to speak to a counselor about this with your child.Good Luck to you and God Bless.
2006-08-15 22:55:26 · answer #9 · answered by SecretUser 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i totally agree with YOU! my parents separated when i was 15, and they would talk trash about each other to me and my brother, and even at that age, it really ruined me mentally at the time.
but most definitely your wife should not be doing that to a 3 year old. that is just plain awful. you should try and talk to her civilally about this, or if you have a good relationship with one of her friends or family members, tell them and try and get them to tell her to stop. it would be pretty bad to totally deny her any visitations with your daughter, but if she keeps this up, i would probably think about it, and take her to court over it. she is just really jealous that you have started over--but don't feel bad about it at all. your ex needs to get over it and move on herself.
good luck, i really hope you get through this.
2006-08-15 14:58:51 · answer #10 · answered by curious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋