My wife and i seperated 2 nights ago. She say that our marriage is getting nowhere and that we just can not get along.. she says that there is nothing that we can do to fix this marriage i believe there is. We have a child together and one on the way. If seperation is what she wants i will have to agree with her but with her saying that she does not want to fix it scares me because i love her very much and want to make this a happy family. Well if anyone has any advice for me than i would appreciate any you may have wether it negative or positive i just want to know what to do with out being too pushy to get her to want to come home and fix our marriage.
2006-08-15 14:43:11 · 13 answers · asked by shawn w 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Shawn, I'm on the other side of this. I've separated from my husband of 6 years. I told him that I don't want to reconcile with him unless he makes some drastic changes FIRST. He knows what I want but I don't see him making any changes. We've reconciled before on a handshake and then he just goes back to the same old crap. I'm not going to do it anymore. Life is too short to be miserable.
Respect your wife's decision to separate and work on being the best man you can be for yourself and the way you feel about you. She may start to admire you and respect you again. Show her you love her but don't pressure her. If the way you behaved in the past contributed to the separation and the relationship means enough to you to change your behavior, then change it. Go to marriage counseling if you can as a couple or if not just go alone it will help. Good luck.
2006-08-15 14:54:28 · answer #1 · answered by DeeDee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been married? What´s her reason of telling you that your marriage is getting nowhere and that you just can not get along and there is nothing that both of you can do to fix your marriage? Maybe she has her own reason or maybe she´s just thinking about that because of her pregnancy, you said you have one on the way. Sometimes pregnant women are getting so emotional and they often feel they´re always by themselves, sometimes they´re becoming attention seekers. Do what you think is right which can save your marriage. Do not stress your wife so much because she´s pregnant, understand her but ask her in a very nice way why she wants to be separated.. You have a child and soon another will come, they will suffer if you decide to let go of each other.
2006-08-15 14:57:51 · answer #2 · answered by gorgeous_gaiL 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, I have always wondered what the point of separation is. You are either together, or you aren't...married or divorced in my view. However, many people feel that they need space I guess...in answer to your question...no, I don't think it is a good idea. I think that separation symbolizes "It's almost over".
I suggest that you tell her how you feel and tell her you would be willing to try anything including marital counseling to make this marriage work. I would ask her to come back home and remind her that things most definitely can't get worked out when there is no communication going on. That's just my two cents. Good luck!
2006-08-15 15:03:33 · answer #3 · answered by ShineOn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG....what if this new baby isn't yours ? Maybe she knows u
will find out later on. That's 1 scenerio. That just doesn't make
sense for her to say,"later", while being pregnant ? Why did she
allow herself to get pregnant in first place ?? I have no idea
unless she really is not happy being with u anymore. You can
at least still be there for the kids.....give them your love. She may
change her mind later. Hasn't she given u exact reasons ? If
she did, then work on that. Otherwise, only time will tell really.
But, don't look at divorce as a failure, it is a learning lesson. It
can teach u how to have a good , solid marriage next time.
2006-08-15 14:58:44 · answer #4 · answered by CraZyCaT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes separation is good. It gives both of you time to think and reality to set in. Both of you have to want to save the marriage. If one of you does not, then there's not much luck in saving it. Maybe after your wife has some time to herself to think things through, she will see that trying to save the marriage is worth the work. Especially with children involved. Divorce is really hard on kids. There are two many kids this day and age that are from divorced families, because adults don't want to be adults and work through their problems. It's a shame they brought kids into the picture in the first place. Not saying that's you, just my opinion. Good luck, hope it works out for you.
2006-08-15 15:22:44 · answer #5 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out what was wrong and have a heart to heart talk with her. Convince her that you love her so much and committed to be a good husband as well father.
If she doesn't want to talk, get her closest friend or kin to find out what went wrong and try to get the reasons out before you actually find the solutions.. You need to put more efforts into saving your marriage for the sake of yourself as well to your children.. Good Luck.
2006-08-15 15:02:11 · answer #6 · answered by Adorable Mrs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do something nice for her and get on her mother's good side. Ask her to reconsider. Things can change you both could meet in the middle.
2006-08-15 14:50:11 · answer #7 · answered by LJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she has already given up hope Dude sorry, she may be cheating on you, and it may be one of her male friends! Ask her to go to couseloring if she does then you may have a chance!
2006-08-15 14:55:00 · answer #8 · answered by wmichael.harvey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes its just what you need. Then other times out of sight out of mind. Depends on the relationship.
2006-08-15 14:49:28 · answer #9 · answered by Dorrie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek marriage counseling first, try to make it work!, Then if not move on!
2006-08-15 14:48:06 · answer #10 · answered by Happy1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋