We've been friends for 2 years. We're both newly single, and just recently started dating. We're both in our early 30's. It's only been a few weeks, and he already wants me to move in with him, and have a baby. I've always had commitment phobic partners, so this is all so new. Anyone ever have a boyfriend that's like this? Is he trying to trap me?
2006-08-15 14:32:21 · 7 answers · asked by greenplant1 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
I don't know about this, I think I would run the other way. You know him better than anybody,..are you ready for a baby? Is he clingy? Controlling? I suggest going slow, and I wouldn't move in right away either.
2006-08-15 14:39:57 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, c'mon. When a guy proposes after 3 months of dating, it's never flattering and it's often scary. When the guy is 46, it's just nuts. Also, he is NOT a good dad to his 3 year old if you've already met the kid and spent time with him. You'll be his stepmom, correct? A good dad would never, ever bring in a total stranger like that without getting to know you much better. You answered your own question when you said you don't want to be slowed down by someone else's baggage. He's not the love of your life - you don't even know him, and 3 months is barely long enough to be considered a "relationship". I don't know how old you are, but there's no need for you to be in such a hurry.
2016-03-27 03:41:57 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you have known him well for two years, yes?
All I will say, is if you DO want kids before you die, you're leaving it later and later. The older you get, the more potential for problems regarding your pregnancy, the development of the child and birth. Not to mention how old you will both be when he/she grows to an age where you all should be running around in the park, having fun with each other. Will you be able to comfortably do that type of activity when close to 50?
Then again, there are many orphaned children in this world that will never see anyone they could call a parent and what with increasing overpopulation and all the other things, perhaps you shouldn't bother.
Wishing you wisdom to make the right choices.
All the best.
2006-08-15 14:51:02 · answer #3 · answered by googlywotsit 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You moving in with him and having a child by him needs to happen on your schedule not his. Having a child is probably the biggest decision a person makes, even bigger than marriage, because you can divorce your spouse but not your child. It is also a decision that you live with for the rest of your life. So obviously it is not a decision that you want to rush into. If you don't feel like you are ready for the commitment then let him know.
I don't know if he is trying to trap you. Maybe he feels that he is ready for the commitment because he has known you for 2 years even though you two haven't been dating long. Maybe he hears the tick of the old biological clock, but remember people are living longer and are now able to have children at older ages. You should definitely know why he wants this before he does it. Also if you have to ask if he is trying to trap you, then you really need to evaluate the whole relationship before you make an irreversible decision.
2006-08-15 14:48:19 · answer #4 · answered by Craftypepper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not so sure that he's trying to "trap" you, but he's definitely moving too fast. Moving in with a man is harder than it seems. You have to get used to each others ways and deal with spending a lot of time together. Also having a kid is serious business. You need time to figure out if he would be a good father for your child and if you too will be able to work together to raise and support the child. If you feel it is right (which you probably don't otherwise you wouldn't be asking) you can go with it and if you feel he would be a good father and you can see yourself with him for a long time go ahead with it.
2006-08-15 14:42:23 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never had this happen but I would definatly be careful don't get in over your head b/c a kid is a big commitment and if you follow through with his plan you will always in some way be connected to him so think about it that way. Picture yourself being married for thirty years then think about being married for five years and getting divorced. Which seems more realistic?
2006-08-15 14:46:26 · answer #6 · answered by Gwennan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your boy friend how he feels about marriage first, sex and a baby last. That's the correct way to go about raising a family.
Don't sell youself and your values so quickly and cheaply.
2006-08-15 14:46:56 · answer #7 · answered by Guitarpicker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋