How do I handle my wife's gay male friend?

Question

He takes up a lot of her time. She owns here own business he is there all the time. He takes his lunch to talk to my wife. He takes his breaks to talk to my wife. When he gets off work he goes home and showers and goes to see my wife @ here business. Sometimes he goes to eat with us. I do not know how to handle him. I can't stand him. It has nothing to do with him being gay. Hell I don't know if he is really gay. All he seems to do is hang out with my wife. My wife assures me he is gay and just needs someone to talk to because our little bible belt town does not treat him nicely.... I'd like for him to find his own life and get out of mine.... Is that crazy?

My wife has assured me that they are not romantic in any way. Here is one thing I have found really odd and I left out of my orig posting. My wife in a genral conversation one day said to me I would like a new Toyota LandCruiser, pearl white, loaed tv's and all. (one of our friends got one) I said no way they are way to pricey. You can by a Mercedes for the same price and have twice the car... The very next day not even 24 hours later here roles up Mr.X in a brand new Pearl white Toyota LandCruiser load rite down to the TVs. Now go figure.....

Answer 1

No, I couldn't take it either, she is not in high school anymore...I know a couple too having the same problem... It can sure cause unnecessary problems... he must know how you feel but obviously doesn't care right?! but she should... If it was me, I would put my foot down, or else... and no empty threats either.... talk is cheap....Couples have a hard enough time keeping their relationships together by themselves without so called friends in the way.....Just tell her your done, no more, really, what do you have to lose if your sharing her now?! he gets her more then you do.... Well, good luck sweetie, I hope it works out for ya......

Answer 2

Not crazy I guess. You must be a little jealous that he's there all the time. I felt the same way when one of my mom's friends was always there hanging out with her, and stealing her life as I thought of it.

You have to accept that your wife is entitled to friends, but try to let her know that you'd like her to spend a little less time with her friend and a little more with you. Just imagine that if he was a woman, you would feel the same way except for your insecurities about him being a man and being close to your wife. Anyways, you'd still feel a bit irritated if the friend was always there, no matter what gender... just try to mellow out about it and discuss it with your wife.

Answer 3

Really a problem. You give a ultimatum to your wife that she should give up his friendship or else you will take drastic step like separation. Do not talk to that gay man.
Had he been gay, he would have not made a friendship with a woman. You are not at all crazy. Your anxiety is right. But you should not be a silent spectator.

Answer 4

I am sure there are some other gay men in your small town or at least in the surrounding areas. Try getting your wife to set this guy up on some blind dates. Maybe the two of you could offer to go with him. Hopefully he will find someone who will take up some of his time.

Answer 5

Cut the guy a little slack, it's hard for a gay guy to fit in alot of places, let alone the Bible belt.

Answer 6

Its not crazy its common sense. Talk to your wife personaly and ask her if he's doing anything wrong to her or if there having an affair. As long as he's not sleeping at your house...I think your okay.

Answer 7

Sounds to me like he really likes your wife, watch yourself. You might need to handle her instead. Who is she married to, you or her so called gay friend?