i have been with this man for almost 3 years, we have been engaged for almost 2 years..what is considered to be to long of a engagement ..or is he just scared of marriage..
2006-08-15 13:48:28 · 26 answers · asked by shedogg30 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There isn't any set time that you should be engaged. Basically it's better to be engaged for a long time rather than getting married way too soon. Right? If you feel you're ready and he doesn't then maybe he isn't ready and you need to wait until he is. There could be several reasons why he hasn't set a date. Maybe he is afraid of marriage or maybe he just doesn't want to get married right now. You have to discuss these matters with him. Let him know how you feel and be prepared to listen to him. It might not be what you want to hear though. You have to be honest with each other.
2006-08-15 14:09:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two years is a long time. Do you have a date set? If there isn't a date set maybe you need to sit down and have a talk. Talk about where this relationship is going. If he can set a date then perhaps he is just not the right guy for you.
My wedding is July 7, 2007 and my engagement will be a year in a half. That is the right amount of time for my fiance and I.
2006-08-15 14:06:45 · answer #2 · answered by glamr216 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been engaged long enough. It is time to pick a date and start planning the wedding. If your engaged longer than a year without setting a date then it is too long. I can see not getting married right away for financial reasons or for purposes of planning. 2 years is plenty long enough.
2006-08-15 13:58:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
In general, if he's not willing to set a date, then it's not an engagement, because he hasn't made a firm commitment to marry you.
He may be afraid of marriage, or there may be unresolved issues that the two of you have to work out. If you feel you have been waiting for him too long, the time to talk about it with him is now.
2006-08-15 13:57:34 · answer #4 · answered by AmericanDreamer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 years is a bit long. What is his reason for not setting a date? You need to sit down with him and discuss it. Tell him you feel that it is time and you want to set a date now and if he says he is still not ready, ask him for the reason. If it is not a reason you can abide by, then you will have to make the decision if you want to stay in that relationship. Ask him why he asked you to get married in the first place. It sounds more like he just wanted to make sure you were off the market but it time for him to make good on his promise to you or let you move on. You've given him more than enough time. Don't waste anymore of your life, if he can't commit now he never will.
2006-08-15 14:06:57 · answer #5 · answered by Chaddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if there's no reason to hold you back from getting married. Be it school or something else. Then he could possibly be unsure, sorry to say. But don't fret, I know this girl, she was with her boyfriend for 4 years and everyone kept talking about how they didn't think he would ever ask. Well he finally asked and they got married a week later. I guess he parents are divorced. He was just scared. So he might just be afraid. It doesn't mean you're not the one!!! But don't wait forever. If you feel to much time goes by. You might have to resort to an ultimatum. It wouldn't mean you didn't love him. It just means you have to get on with your life. I hope everything works out for the both of you, it probably will!!! Good luck and God bless both of you!!!!!
2006-08-15 13:58:24 · answer #6 · answered by Maryanne 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My fiance and I just set a date for next spring. We've been engaged for four years, have been together for almost eight. We both had personal goals to achieve and fears we wanted to surmount before getting married. The work we've put in towards self-improvement has been very valuable. For us, this has been a perfect engagement, and we are confident that our marriage will not end in divorce.
2006-08-15 14:00:31 · answer #7 · answered by zouninorusarusan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I were engaged for a few months before we got married. I would be wondering if she was scared to marry me if it had been longer than a year. If you are just waiting to save money for the big day then thats understandable, but if everything is set, then why the wait? I think he may be holding back for some reason if everything is ready and set.
2006-08-15 13:54:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Engagement" means you plan to get married. Tell your fiance you are ready to set a date. Tell him it takes 9 months to a year to plan a nice wedding. If he is unwilling to set a date after two years, he is maybe just using you. But, if he has a really good reason to wait longer, he should tell you (more education, more growing up to do, etc.). If you aren't satisfied with his answers, maybe you should tell him you don't feel valued. If he loves you he will set a date. Don't' give him an ultimatum. Just do what's best for you. Maybe you should move on, if he's still not "ready".
2006-08-15 14:09:55 · answer #9 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One year is reasonable, two years is too long. I would ask this guy what his present intentions are. He may be thinking of having a permanent relationship with all the benefits of having a wife, without the responsibilities and commitment of marriage. If this is the case, then you will have to take whatever course of action you deem necessary.
2006-08-15 13:56:25 · answer #10 · answered by WC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋