One friend of my husband is really pissing me off. He calls him when he's already at our house in the parkinglot and asks if he can come by or he tells him he will come by and then he doesn't come. I mean, we're waiting for him (like when he says he'll come for dinner or so). I told my husband to stop him from bullshiting us like that. But he doesn't wanna tell him. He's also trying to get him out to clubs and to Hooters and everywhere where "hot chicks" are. To me it looks like he's trying to let someone take him away from me. That's just an example. Hope you guys understand. And give some advice.
2006-08-15 13:17:48 · 21 answers · asked by pearl_682 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's not that his friend is a complete asshole. Usually when he's with us he's very friendly and polite to me, but there are those things that bother me...
2006-08-15 14:30:39 · update #1
Honestly, it sounds like your husbands friend is a bit jealous of your husband and the fact he has somoene who cares about him. What he is doing is very rude and your husband being his friend should ask him not to make plans if he has no intention of showing up. If he continues to not show, dont invite him anymore. If he comes over un-invited, I would make it a point to not answer the phone or the door. He will eventually get the point. This man sounds like he is playing games and at YOUR relationships expense.
2006-08-15 13:25:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like "deja vous"! I went through this very same thing when my hubby was in the Marines. Before I moved to where he was stationed, they would hang out. Well, he assumed things would stay the same when I moved to NC.... I mean, it was like we couldnt do anything with our married couple friends, he would always pop in, and ask my hubby if he wanted to hang out, as if I wasnt even there!
This went on for a little while, and finally I said one night, "look, Al, tonight my husband & I are gonna go and hang out with some other friends"... It didnt take him long to get the point. I made sure my hubby knew what I was gonna do, because he would tell his friend to chill a bit, but, it never worked. After that, there were times when we would invite him for dinner, and that was about the only time he came over!
Some people just need to be reminded that things are diff with married people!
2006-08-15 20:50:06 · answer #2 · answered by Katz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife had multiple friends like this. When we started dating, they all "loved" me, and about 6 months after that they began to become jealous because they said I was "monopolizing" her time, and they started trying to encourage her to dump me so they could go hang out at the "single's" bars.
What it came down to is that they hated that she was so happy all of the time, it really irked some of them for some reason. (before that she was in a very bad relationship.) And if we had even the smallest of arguments and they found out about it, they were right there urging her to dump me. Eventually we sat down and talked about it, and she dumped them instead and got new friends.
The worst culprit was a gay gentleman who'se favorite pastime was taking horse tranquilizers.
The point of this is that if the friends can't hack him being in a relationship, then it's time for him to get new friends. Otherwise it WILL cause a great deal of strife in the relationship, and potentially lead to the dissolving of said relationship.
2006-08-15 20:28:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES! I'm in that situation now. My boyfriend works out of town sometimes and came home for only one day and barely said too much to me, but when I dropped him back off at the hotel where they were staying his roomate the friend that I don't like and think is a bad influence, was there and my boyfriend said more to his coworker(friend) then he said to me the whole time he was at home.
Then when they are out of town on jobs his coworker(friend) who also happens to be married, takes my boyfriend out to late night restaurants and get drunk almost every night! Then had the nerve to have my boyfriend who also had been drinking to drive cause he was too drunk to drive.
Like I said My boyfriend had come home for only one day, and his coworker(friend) was calling him. I'm thinking dang can we get some time together without him calling?
2006-08-15 20:29:09 · answer #4 · answered by Jules 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you guys are in love then you have nothing to worry about... My boyfriends friend and his girlfriend do the same stuff...
But we talked to them together! we didn't want to put blame but damn i could of made other plans, or i could of started dinner sooner instead of waiting...
We told them to own up to there actions... That we didn't mind if they didn't want to come over at that time or they made other plans just let me know i won't get mad..then we told them that we are not in highschool.. come on grow up...
For the most part that is what we said!
as far as the hot chicks... do you trust your man? if you married him i sure hope you do!
Good luck sweeite!
Mad luv
2006-08-15 20:25:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband may need to watch this guy. I wouldn't be surprised if he is trying to come between you two so that he can either put a move on you or just break you all up. Watch out!
2006-08-15 22:20:28 · answer #6 · answered by Who me? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the friend is jealous since he doesn't have a woman of his own. Maybe he is trying to get your husband to go places with him that the friend would never go alone. Maybe he has no life and is trying to live through you guys.
2006-08-15 20:24:12 · answer #7 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he cant understand that your husband isn't single anymore. Start inviting him over and then leave or just tell him sorry you dont want company while he's sitting outside in the parking lot
2006-08-15 20:23:55 · answer #8 · answered by scarlet_bat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl i have put up with the same thing for 6 years and let me tell you it lead me to cheating. because all of my husbands friends are single. the bad thing is his friends where my friends before we got married. all i can tell you is good luck and try your hardest to get his friend a girlfriend it will make it easier because then you can double date with your mans friend. i hope i helped you alittle
2006-08-15 20:26:59 · answer #9 · answered by jonsey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think the friend is jealous of yours and your husband's relationship.
i think the best course of action is to ignore him....pretend he isn't there when he is & let your man know you are annoyed at the jerk when he's not around
or maybe you should just disapear whenever the jerk comes around....go hang out with your friends
2006-08-15 20:27:08 · answer #10 · answered by Cap'n Donna 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋