My friend has had 5 boyfriends in the last year. She has a 1 year old daughter. Which i think is not good for her. They guys that she is picking treat her bad. She will pick her men over her friends. i am getting to the stage where i don't know if i should just leave her to get on with it. I would not mind so much if she was not phoning me every day to moan about them. She also will only talk about herself which starts to get you down, i have my problems to, but don't go on about them all the time. i know that this is sounding harsh, but don't know what to do any mosr. help!!!!
2006-08-15 11:39:08 · 7 answers · asked by Claire B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Not alot you can do. exept be a friend
2006-08-15 11:46:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't control her but at the same time you can't let her wear you down. Talk to her about everything always being all about her. If she never takes time to listen to you, she's not really a friend. If she keeps calling and moaning about what ever messed up situation she has gotten herself into, give her 5 minutes to whine then get off the phone. Remind her that she keeps chosing these men and that you are not a therapist. She only does it because you allow her to. Set boundaries and stay firm.
2006-08-15 11:55:11 · answer #2 · answered by m&m_manic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite her to yours for a night in and a girlie chat, open a bottle of wine and just sit and chat about old times or her daughter, then when she is relaxed change the subject and ask her if everything in her life is alright and does she need to talk about anything that may be worrying her, it seems like something is playing on her mind for her to be flitting from one guy to another at the rate she is doing, is she lacking self worth, did the child's father hurt her so much that she thinks she has to go out and prove she is worth loving, something is making her act like she is doing right now and having a good friend like you to talk to might just be the support she needs, yes we all have our own problems and I have friends who have pushed mine to on side because they seem to think they are the only ones who have a life or any worries, but you have to either stand up and be counted and get her to open up to you or carry on as you are and become so bogged down by it all that it end up been a hateship instead of a friendship, good luck I hope she sees what a good friend she has in you.
2006-08-15 12:30:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got two options, either cut her out of your life for good, or accept her for who she is, which is a flake, my sister is the same, constant bloody moaning about problems she has brought on herself, but its no good telling her, she will not listen, nor will your friend, she's clearly got a self esteem problem, she thinks she deserves to be treated badly, so she lets it happen.
so save your breath, she wont change till shes ready, you could remain her friend, but tell her you dont want to hear about her menfriends, her daughter sounds like she could use a handy sensible auntie, it could be you!
2006-08-15 14:49:28 · answer #4 · answered by magpyre 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop judging her for goodness sake...
If you don't talk about your problems with her then hows she supposed to know u have any?
Take a step back and reavaluate what you need in a friend and if she doesn't meet the criteria then move on
2006-08-17 06:54:39 · answer #5 · answered by Girl From Mars 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your pal is going through a tough time and must be feeling pretty bad about herself. make sure you have other friends to talk to so you can talk about your stuff then you won't feel so cross with this friend. don't get pulled into the drama but just listen. she'll get thorugh this and will change with time so don't dump her but don't be too available.
2006-08-15 11:52:26 · answer #6 · answered by minerva 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find somebody suiteble for her if you want to make her happy
2006-08-17 12:45:42 · answer #7 · answered by nshntvyas 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋