Okay here is my story...I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years...and we concived on may 25, 06. Now im about 3 months. But the thing is, that im 15 & he is 18. We have had alot of problems with my family in the past..my sister got preg. withher first baby at 14 and her second at 16. Im like kind of the "hope child" and i have seen how she lives her life and she is just now 18. My boyfriend wants to get rid of it..but i feel diffrent..he dosent understand..its a baby i cant just kill it. So do i keep it..and hurt my parents...and my boyfriend..or kill it..idk?please help.Oh AND NO RUDE COMMENTS pls.
2006-08-15 11:38:43 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
adopt the baby out, do you want to live with the fact you killed your baby for the rest of your life? and you shouldn't have to kill something that's apart of you because you're the "hope" child - that will just make you resent your parents and even your sister for making you the hope child. to much bad will come from an abortion.
your "boyfriend" should have thought of that before having unprotected sex with a minor aswell. next time use protection or abstain until you can handle having a child.
and remember not everyone is lucky enough to fall pregnant.
go look up a fetal developement chart and see a 12 week old (thats how far you are) baby's heart beat - see it move, its alive.
2006-08-15 11:48:26 · answer #1 · answered by *Kali* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen. This is only my opinion and it's not meant to hurt you in any way. You are 15 years old. What accomplishments have you done in your life? First of all, you shouldn't be having sex at all. Your body is still changing and growing. Second of all, if you were going to have sex, why no protection at all? Getting pregnant was the least of your worries. What about a desease?
If you feel strongly about keeping the baby, face the consequences and maybe your life will be better than your sisters. You will hurt your parents, screw up your future permanently, and have a someone to take care of for the rest of your natural life. Don't put that child in danger of growing up lacking in a mature parent. Grow up first....go out, experience things. STUDY. Stay in school no matter what.
Yes it's a child and an individual, but what about giving it the best possible life it could have by being prepared?
Being a parent is a massive world wide responsibility. I became a parent when I was 26. By that time I had finished school, I was living on my own and had a partial business. I'm not married and that never stopped me from getting what I wanted. A better life for my child that what I had. My mom married (actually married in Mexico) at 15. By the time she was 21, she had 4 children. I'm a middle child. There was never enough time to spend with us because she was busy working. It was the way in those times.
Think about your future. What I suggest is listen to your heart and head at the same time. Put down all the Pro's and Con's
Sometimes abortion can be a blessing in disguise. But it will also leave a scar, both mentally and emotionally. So please be careful that you choose wisely.
Good luck baby girl.
2006-08-15 11:53:29 · answer #2 · answered by Tida 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the smart thing to do would be to give the child up for adoption if you know you cannot take care of it. You are already 3 months! I'm not going to preach whether abortion is right or wrong, but even those who would argue that it's ok, would look at this sutation with wide eyes, given how much time has passed already.
You've seen how hard it is on teen mothers. You obviously don't firmly believe in abortion or you wouldn't be having this moral delimna. Why not investigate with local agencies at least on the options of adoption? This way, you won't be killing your baby, you know it will be going to a loving two aprent household who can emotional and financially provide for the child, your boyfriend wouldn't be upset and perhaps your parents might even still look at you with "hope" by knowing you were mature enough to make this incredibly hard decision.
Good luck to you no matter what happens. It's a really hard situation, your mind must be a mess right now.
2006-08-15 11:54:44 · answer #3 · answered by helpplz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guilt you will feel from having an abortion will live far longer than the pain of having disappointed your parents. Talk to your parents about the choice between keeping the child or putting it up for adoption. They will be part of this child no matter which you choose and should have a voice, not the decision itself, but an opportunity to offer their advice. As far as your boyfriend is concerned, whether you continue the relationship or not is between you two, but now at least, you should get yourself on the pill so that it won't happen again until you are totally ready and able to be a parent. Good luck to you and your baby! It's going to be tough no matter what you decide. You are already too close to your second trimester to get an abortion unless you run out and get it done instantly...which gives you very little time to make up your mind. Too little, to my way of thinking.
2006-08-15 11:59:49 · answer #4 · answered by pessimoptimist 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although your parents will be disappointed, you should keep your baby. having an abortion can leave emotional scars that only you will have to deal with and that's not fair. Talk to your parents and let them know, yes they will be hurt and maybe even angry, but the birth of a child is a good thing. It will be hard to lose part of yur youth to become an instant adult, but sometimes jumping in feet first helps you rise quicker.
After your baby is born, follow your doctors instructions and don't have sex until after your six week check up. As a matter of fact, don't have sex until you get on birth control and have been on it for at least one month. If you do have sex, make sure that it is protected sex.
If your boyfriend can't deal with the fact that you want to keep the baby, then you should go straight to his parents and let them know. It may cause some strain on your relationship and may even break you up but you have to do what's right. There are program that can help you avoid being in the same situation as your sister, so make sure that you find out what they are and get involved. Some programs will even help you find a college and get you in if that is what you want o do. Don't limit yourself to what you believe is the end, you now have somebody else to live and succeed for.
Keep your head up. Everything will work itself out.
2006-08-15 11:51:41 · answer #5 · answered by duncanchild7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that is a very difficult situation. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this at such a young age. i'm 16 and i can just imagine how difficult it is for you.
However, I feel obligated to say to you that you did make a mistake... no protection? But what is done is done and now its time to make a decision.
If you do not want to kill you baby then don't do it no matter what becuase you will have to live with that on your conscience for the rest of your life.
That leaves you only one choice. You must keep it.
If you are woman enough to have sex, then you must also be woman enough to face the consequences. Be honest and tell your parents what happened, and make sure you apologize and let them know that you realize what a big mistake you have made but cant do anythign about it now and that everyone should accept it.
If you bf doesnt want it there is always the option of having the baby and then giving it up for adoption, if you do not want to raise it as your own.
Explore your options and your feelings and do what you feel is right. Do not ignore your wishes and desires for what anybody else thinks becuase then you will ahve to live wiht it the rest of your life. Good luck with all of that.
2006-08-15 11:45:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well hun... you choices may be limited... if you are already 3 months, entering into your 2nd trimester, you may not have a choice any more. (I not sure, but I'm 16 weeks and I could not imagine going through it at this stage)
Your parents are going to be pissed, but they love you, and you will love this baby.
I'm not sure if your pregnancy was a complete accident (i.e. the condom broke) or if it was lack of protection, but either way, if your boyfriend was this serious about not having a kid, he should have used better protection, or taking you to get the morning after pill.
I was with my husband for almost 6 1/2 year before we got pregnant, and it was because my husband did not want one, and I know that I could not handle a pregnancy, and any time he wanted to go with out using a condom, I told him I would not have an abortion, and he immediatly put something on. My point is... your boyfried has to grow up sometime... he made the choice to have unprotected sex, and well, this is what happens.
You have to think about yourself, you got yourself in this situation, and it is up to you to deal with it, whether that means having it, and growing up at 15, or having the abortion. But just know that having an abortion affects the mom a whole lot differently than the dad.
2006-08-15 11:58:06 · answer #7 · answered by jacscallin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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I believe in the right to choose, and I always thought that if I got pregnant before I was ready, I would choose to abort. I got pregnant at 19 and found out , I was wrong. I couldn't do it, but I have to tell you , it was really really hard. And I had more help coming to me than you can imagine. My parents, his parents, his grandparents. And it was still REally hard. I'm not saying, get an abortion. I believe adoption is a wonderful option. There are so many people that would love to love your baby. But you are so young. I hate to see you cut your life 's chances and choices short so early. Good luck and God bless.
2006-08-15 12:28:43 · answer #8 · answered by gypsie_soul06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what you do , somebody who doesn't deserve to be hurt will be-- be it your parents or the helpless child.
I say let the child live. If you don't want to raise it....let someone who does.
You made the decision to have sex so now it is time for you to be the woman that you are and face the consequences of that decision.It's not the end of the world.Some of us just have to grow up early.That's life.
Be strong.Tell your parents the truth and let the child live.You still have a good future ahead of you.It's just going to be a little be tougher.I've seen many successful single parents. And if your boyfriend truly loves you he'll support you in your decision and make it even easier on you.After all....it took two to do the tango.
2006-08-15 12:02:29 · answer #9 · answered by ZEE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question is for you. Can you care for the child? Abortion is not always the question. The best thing you can do is get yourself into a support group and hear from others who have been in your shoes. There are people out there that can give you the advice that you are looking for. I personally would look into adoption. There are people who can't have children and you could help them. Don't take a life that you have created, I have to say that you have the rights to your own body, but make sure it is YOUR thought and not anyone else. I wish you the best of luck in your decision. My prayers are with you.
2006-08-15 12:04:43 · answer #10 · answered by Sandi D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋