My wife left me for someone else whilst I was working away, and even though she has always said it's her fault and wished she stayed faithful she still insists on dragging me through courts, abusing the free legal aid system to get everything she can.. pension, house, regular maintenance etc etc. I have 3 children and have no problems with paying for them, but unfortunately it's not stopping there. The solicitor tells me that there's nothing that can be done to stop her in UK law. She can fight for what she wants. Why should I be pennyless for something I didn't do, whilst she has a boyfriend and living on benefits in a free house etc. She has never worked, or even intends to work!! My confidence is dented... are all women like this???
2006-08-15 11:25:47 · 19 answers · asked by liquid_ice_71 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no we are not all like this and yet i apologise on behalf of this woman who has hurt you. protect yourself as much as you can and that means not letting her knock you down too hard. your kids need you strong and not angry. it's really tough not to feel vindictive when someone insists on being as hurtful as this. she probably struggles to live with herself and is trying to make herself out as a victim just so she can face herself in the mirror evryday. You will get through this and you'll be stronger. let the wounds heal before you start looking for someone else though as there are other women who prey on men in your situation. spend quality time with your kids and avoid the temptation to say anything negative to them. being really nice all the time will probably be enough to upset your ex and you will have taken back some of the power for yourself. do things that make you feel good about yourself. start a new hobby and get fit and healthy. this will help you cope and feel good again. strong outside=stronger inside. I'm not like her and there are other women like me I'm sure. just take your time. sorry this has happened but one day you will see that you've had a lucky escape and it was right.
2006-08-15 11:37:51 · answer #1 · answered by minerva 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are lot that are calculating and looking for what they want IMHO and then convince themselves of love when they find it. Equally there are probably some out there that are not.
Don't make your children pay for her nastiness, don't use it and they will end up respecting you more. I don't know the answer as not been in the experience and it isn't fair. But it is all experience and once it is sorted out, build yourself up again and learn from it. A woman I know of, says to always keep a little part of you back - maybe you do have to do that, but being able to fall in love truly is better.
At the end of the day she choses to make these choices and has the conscience issues and you have to deal with them. You don't have to be the same and hopefully next time you will be more aware and fall for a better person.
Finally, if she can do this to you...
P.S. the experience of bad women really opened my eyes up to the games they play. If I spot one now (and I do) it really turns me off. It doesn't interest me at all. I want someone that wants me for me, not what I have got. Beauty is not everything.
P.P.S. Amazing how many 'nutty' women are online that take advantage of a man feeling down for their own means. Don't go there, remember, you are worth more than that.
2006-08-15 18:53:45 · answer #2 · answered by The Mole 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am really beginning to wonder that myself, I have seen both my brothers go through divorce, their wives left them for someone else, the wives ended up with everything and all my brothers got were deeper in debt and heartbroken, we have male friends who have gone through the same, debt ridden and heartbroken, it really is about time the law changed in this country, just because some of these women are mothers it doesn't give them the right to destroy lives and what sort of example are they showing to their children by been so spiteful anyhow, if just one man was able to have his chance to come out of a divorce better off than he went into it then it will be a yuge breakthrough, maybe you are the man to make that stand and go all the way to the highest courts in the land or the world to make a stand for men just like you, wish you could, but you know not all women are as cruel as your ex wife it just appears like that to you right now because your so heartbroken and hurting, good luck and I hope you end up lucky in love the second time around, you deserve to be.
2006-08-15 18:57:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It happens and there's not a lot you can do.
Don't but a doormat, and make her work for whatever she tries to take from you. Just be reasonable and hope that your solictor does his job, and the Courts see sense.
You will have the last laugh as women like this tend to come unstuck when the excitement of the affair ebbs away, and the lifestyle no longer seems so 'free' after all.
Just make sure you're around to see it.
2006-08-15 18:35:04 · answer #4 · answered by 'Dr Greene' 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately for you and all the other guys out there getting screwed by their exes, most women (not all, but most) are this way - get anything and everything they can at all costs. Women are often times very stubborn and think only of themselves when going thru a divorce - they don't think about their soon to be ex living poorly because of all he is "supposed" to give to her. I think the court systems suck when it comes to men's rights in divorce and custody cases, and I totally feel for you.
2006-08-15 18:42:36 · answer #5 · answered by thersa33 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel bad for you, but not all women are like this. Stand up for yourself I know law will be on your side, she did left you for another man, she is doing this to you because she knows she can get away with it but stand up for yourself, I am a woman but i hate women who do this things like i hate men who do the same things too....but don't let her thread on your shoes, stand up and better get a different solicitor who can fight for the case., MY husband got divorced with his ex wife because she left him with another man but she didn't get anything well part from £5000 share but that was all she had, she didn't have everything! So if I were you fight for your right.
2006-08-16 07:17:05 · answer #6 · answered by confused_fozz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all women are like her. When I split up with my ex husband, i thought the same about men, but I have been proved that it is not true. I am sorry that she has been such a btch about the whole thing. I dont think that you should have to pay for her but I know the law here is as much of a btch as she is.
Good luck for your future happiness.
2006-08-15 18:38:30 · answer #7 · answered by Zoe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave the country. Britain is a pantomime of hysterical emotionally imbalanced heathens anyway.
The entire system is designed to fleece you of your livelihood that you worked hard for. So, don't play by the system's rules.
2006-08-16 06:41:48 · answer #8 · answered by Stomach 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, we're not. You just had a bad apple. My ex hub is a slimeball like that, but I kept the faith, found a GOOD man, and am happily re-married.
Hang in there for the kids' sakes, and she'll soon get hit with the bad Karma she created!
2006-08-15 18:31:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is that no, all women are not like this! The thing is the more and more mean things a person does, the harder and harder it gets to "hear" their conscience. It sounds like your ex has done a lot of mean things, and has thus become a bit deaf to her conscience.
2006-08-15 18:37:25 · answer #10 · answered by daisyk 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋